Should I give my children money when I sell their things?

Lizgardener

I found that my kids were reluctant to part with toys that they didn't play with any more, so we had an annual ritual of a car boot sale. They all sorted out what they could bear to part with, came with me to sell what we could, and donated anything left over to the local charity shop. Then, they would really enjoy counting the money and we would spend it on a family treat - cinema and pizza, that kind of thing. It got so that they would be chasing me to do it again, so it was a win win and now they are all grown up they still talk about it.

Jagraf

Lizgardener wrote: »

I found that my kids were reluctant to part with toys that they didn't play with any more, so we had an annual ritual of a car boot sale. They all sorted out what they could bear to part with, came with me to sell what we could, and donated anything left over to the local charity shop. Then, they would really enjoy counting the money and we would spend it on a family treat - cinema and pizza, that kind of thing. It got so that they would be chasing me to do it again, so it was a win win and now they are all grown up they still talk about it.

Back of the net x :T

Ebenezer_Screwj

I presume that you bought these items in the first place? I would hang on to the proceeds, children get far too much of everything for free these days anyway.

G6JPG

Clothes: if normal clothes, then I think I'd say good luck, if you can get anything for them (possible for fast-growing children I suppose). Special clothes (souvenir T-shirts? If any MSE would buy such!), or something bought for them by someone else if they really like it, treat like toys below.

Toys (and special clothes): to me (and I do remember being a child, albeit well before the internet!), they belong to the child - unless this was made clear at the point they were "given". (Is this - "this is a loan" - at all common? I suspect not.) As such, I'd make very sure they agree with the disposal before even thinking about where the money goes. That discussion can be tied in with "negotiations" about some new toy (or ...) that they want, especially if space is a problem.

Assuming agreement is reached that the object is to be disposed of, then I would say that the proceeds do belong to the child - though getting them involved in the selling isn't a bad idea, especially if it teaches them the sort of things whose value plummets. If it involves you in more than trivial effort, you could suggest a seller's percentage - I don't think that's mean, it teaches them that time costs money:)! Certainly, any costs involved (ebay fees, table costs for boot fairs ...) should be deducted; conversely, if they can arrange to sell it themselves (safely and legally), let them.

(I do say the agreement is important; I still remember being rather hurt when things disappeared - whether sold, given away, or thrown out - without asking me.)

I realise I am writing from the perspective of someone not in money difficulties. But I can't imagine there are many cases of real hardship - difficulties meeting the rent, utilities, food - would be ameliorated by the selling of toys. If the situation is marginal, such that it just might make the difference, talk to the children, but I can't imagine this applies in many cases.

But I feel ownership should be respected. If this principle is broken, then do you expect them to respect the ownership of others - other children's toys, and wider matters?

Probably applies especially if they were given by someone else, especially if (the toy was) liked. (Conversely, if auntie/granny/whoever gives them something they don't like, you may also have to teach them the importance - if you consider it important! - of not selling it straight away, so as not to hurt the giver's feelings! [Or at least the importance of explaining to the giver, perhaps including details of what they've bought instead. And in that case of choosing something of which the giver would approve. But I'm getting off the subject here.])

Jagraf

I think most people definitely are in a position where the money is needed.

In fact, my daughter has just bagged up a load of clothes etc which I will be able to auction on line. She just wants it out of her room as I have told her I won't drop her off shopping unless her room is tidy. I will decide what happens to the money raised and in this instance it will go towards a family holiday - in fact anything from any of us will now.

What does she get? Well, she gets a lift paid for by me, she gets to shop with her mates, and she gets a holiday. She also gets a tidy bedroom. Alternatively I could give her the money .... I know which she would prefer.

I can't for the life of me see that this is wrong. Incidentally, I would do the same if I was loaded, as otherwise I think she wouldn't see the moral value in what I am doing.

sulphate

lazer wrote: »

I can't believed you would even think to take furniture from your in laws house, of course it is theirs!


I did want to take my bed when I moved out of my parents house because it was an expensive one and was the only bed that didn't hurt my back, but I was going to buy them a replacement bed so they can still have a bed in the spare room.


Do you have any spare rooms in your house - do they have furniture in them?

I didn't think to take furniture. When my DH moved out to houseshare (not with me) he bought a new wardrobe and chest of drawers. His parents' still have the ones they bought for him when he lived there, unused, in their house 10 years later. Again, seems pointless to me.

I suppose he should have left any clothes that they bought him as gifts in the house too?

I don't see the relevance of your question, no we don't have a spare room unless you count the room that our baby will be sleeping in when it's old enough (suppose I need to give birth to it first) but we don't have any unused stuff. We recently gave my in laws a couple of bits of furniture that we no longer use and they wanted them. In my family I was brought up with the understanding that families help each other, but obviously that's not the case for everyone.

Rebecca_Palmer

Maybe you can just consider putting it i their savings account instead of giving them the money. :-)