Should I give my children money when I sell their things?

onlyroz

Jagraf wrote: »

I don't expect them to do it. They do it. I don't tell them to. Incidentally, all children have different tastes, so what might not suit my child, may suit another.

You are truly naive if you think every parent goes out and purchases a toy for every little boy or girl's party. They tend to see what they have at home first.

Maybe its just experience of going through that age group.

I have been through that age group. My daughter is 6 and my son is 9. They have been to a reasonable number of kids parties and I've hosted a large-ish one for my son and a small one for my daughter. For each party attended I bought a small present, seeking advice if I didn't know the child - e.g. if they like Ben 10 chances are they'd like a Ben 10 action figure. I most certainly don't keep a cupboard full of unwanted gifts to be passed on, and I don't know anybody else who does this. And of the gifts that my kids received, either from relatives or from the kids attending their parties, they have never been given something unwanted or unsuitable.

Jagraf

onlyroz wrote: »

I have been through that age group. My daughter is 6 and my son is 9. They have been to a reasonable number of kids parties and I've hosted a large-ish one for my son and a small one for my daughter. For each party attended I bought a small present, seeking advice if I didn't know the child - e.g. if they like Ben 10 chances are they'd like a Ben 10 action figure. I most certainly don't keep a cupboard full of unwanted gifts to be passed on, and I don't know anybody else who does this. And of the gifts that my kids received, either from relatives or from the kids attending their parties, they have never been given something unwanted or unsuitable.

Ok then :T although you can't know whether they do, as I'm sure they wouldn't admit they didn't but he present.

quidsy

Here comes that judgmental attitude again.

Mine doesn't like lego & 7 year old boys get a lot of lego, he'll often get duplicate nerfs cause everyone knows he loves them. They are hardly crap things to re gift.

onlyroz

quidsy wrote: »

Mine doesn't like lego & 7 year old boys get a lot of lego, he'll often get duplicate nerfs cause everyone knows he loves them. They are hardly crap things to re gift.

Still the same priniciple though - your 7-year-old owns something that they don't want and so should be given a say in what happens to it. "Do you mind if we give this to Johnny for his birthday?" is better than "I'm going to take this off you and give it to Johnny for his birthday".

But the suggestion here has been that it is almost expected that parents will regift the majority of presents received at parties, and that all parents have a huge box stuffed full of unwanted presents that can be dipped into freely. Isn't it better to firstly only invite kids to your child's party that know them well enough to know that they don't really like lego (rather than blindly inviting the whole class), and to secondly put a bit more thought into the presents that you give out to other children, so as to minimise this cycle of regifting?

tattycath

janninew wrote: »

Isn't a teenager old enough to decide what to do with their possessions when they have finished with them? Isn't it their decision to give their items to charity if they so wish? I find it hard to understand that a parent gives a gift to a child, after a few months takes it back to sell and then uses the money to buy the next birthday present with. In my opinion that is taking money saving a little far.

Maybe money does grow on trees where you live...but not round here.
Example. Last year my lovely DD was sorting her room out and she had 2 boxes of stuff on the landing. I said ' what do you want me to do with this?' She said 'I don't know'. I said well, do you want to keep it? Or if you don't want them any more I can try and sell it and give you the money if you want?' She said, ' I don't want it, I don't care, do what you like with it. I don't want any money for it, I just don't want them, get rid of them however you want, I'm off out'.
End of discussion. So I didn't steal them, I didn't pinch her money, I didn't do anything untoward or out of order. Everyone was happy with the outcome. End of

POPPYOSCAR

I would never have been able to recycle presents to other children
I probably would have given the same present back to the original giver knowing my luck!!

Jagraf

onlyroz wrote: »

Still the same priniciple though - your 7-year-old owns something that they don't want and so should be given a say in what happens to it. "Do you mind if we give this to Johnny for his birthday?" is better than "I'm going to take this off you and give it to Johnny for his birthday".

But the suggestion here has been that it is almost expected that parents will regift the majority of presents received at parties, and that all parents have a huge box stuffed full of unwanted presents that can be dipped into freely. Isn't it better to firstly only invite kids to your child's party that know them well enough to know that they don't really like lego (rather than blindly inviting the whole class), and to secondly put a bit more thought into the presents that you give out to other children, so as to minimise this cycle of regifting?

I don't mind the thought of regifting, we buy far too much stuff nowadays, its pointless with small children, I wish there was a "no presents" policy from their school friends when they are little, lets face it, its not from the child its from the parent.

Also I remember there was a phase where all the kids were invited to stop anyone feeling left out (only the one year), to me that was more important.

You are exaggerating my posts a little also, tbh. Have you never, seriously, given away, say, some bubble bath you daughter never uses, without telling her? Probably not.

Anyway we can all bring up our kids to suit our families he way we want. Hopefully they will all be rounded adults.

quidsy

onlyroz wrote: »

Still the same priniciple though - your 7-year-old owns something that they don't want and so should be given a say in what happens to it. "Do you mind if we give this to Johnny for his birthday?" is better than "I'm going to take this off you and give it to Johnny for his birthday".

And you made this up in your head why?


But the suggestion here has been that it is almost expected that parents will regift the majority of presents received at parties, and that all parents have a huge box stuffed full of unwanted presents that can be dipped into freely. Isn't it better to firstly only invite kids to your child's party that know them well enough to know that they don't really like lego (rather than blindly inviting the whole class), and to secondly put a bit more thought into the presents that you give out to other children, so as to minimise this cycle of regifting?

At my sons age it is mostly the parent chosing the gift and we dont invite the whole class. I know which kids like lego, star wars nerf etc or txt the parent and if have something suitable, regift it. It isn't just re gifted willy nilly but hey why let actual fact cloud your desire to smother judgement over other parents.

I find its those who cast the most judgement over other parents are the most insecure in their own abilities. So give yourself a break onlyroz, you're probably doing an ok job.

Lunar_Eclipse

Since the question posed contained the word "should" (should I keep the money or should I give it to my kids when selling THEIR things) there's a correct answer: you should offer or give them the money.

But that's the moral side and in reality, it depends on circumstances: financial, emotional, size of house and storage, how tidy the child is etc etc etc.

SeduLOUs

MSE_Joanne wrote: »

This week's MoneySaver who wants advice asks...

As a parent I often sell on games, electronics and toys that the children have stopped using. In particular, after each Christmas I have a cull to make space for all their new stuff. Should I give them the money that I raise or should I keep it?

And who is paying for the new toys? Presumably not the children with the proceeds?