Should I give my children money when I sell their things?

quidsy

onlyroz wrote: »

You're the one who started flinging insults around by casting aspersions on my parenting skills..

When?

I have never denied anybody a right to an opinion. I also value the opinions of my children, unlike some forum users

Are you sure I'm the one flinging insults around about parenting skills? You have done just that here. No where has anyone said they don't' value the opinion of their children but I have stated that sometimes mine doesn't need to have one in certain subjects.
I don't consult him on many things, this is just one of them.

He knows I sell things but he has never felt the need to ask for the money as he is raised to think of the whole family.

What exactly are you expecting to achieve in this thread? A pat on the back, praise for being such a great parent, being told you are right? You do what you do, others do it differently, it doesn't mean we value our children any less, something you are constantly trying to suggest, nor that we consider them dumb or that we disrespect their views. So stop with the passive aggressive insults.

Your opinion won’t change me doing what is best for MY family & I have no interest in changing how you handle yours. Move on.

onlyroz

quidsy wrote: »

When?

How about here:

It isn't I was laughing because from that one sentence I know exactly what kind of parent you are.

Jagraf

onlyroz wrote: »

I think it would be more valuable for your teen to learn how to do these things for themselves. If they're unmotivated then the next time they ask for money to buy (eg) some new clothes then perhaps suggest that they have a look through all these things that have been stuck in cupboards for ages to see which items have value. The end result might be the same - ie your teen is adequately clothed - but your teen has also learned a lesson in self sufficiency rather than relying on mum to do everything.

Lol, respect. I don't need advice on parenting, thanks all the same.

And I don't give her money for clothes, she has pocket money and any bits she can earn from doing jobs around the house etc. she has a very busy life which is not at all related to unwanted stuff. She manages her money well.

Jagraf

onlyroz wrote: »

If you don't seek your child's opinion on simple matters like what should happen to their things then you are treating them as being dumb. And if you never involve them in such decisions how are they to ever learn how to make these decisions for themselves in the future?

They do learn to make decisions by other means than what you do with their old toys, honest.

quidsy

onlyroz wrote: »

How about here:

Wow, ONE comment against how many have you made? Lets have a look shall we?

Yesterday, 2:57
So in your house would you go and rifle through your kids' xBox
games,
pillaging all ones with value and then sell them to pay the
gas bill? My kids would be rightly horrified if I attempted to do
that

Yesterday, 9:48 PM But they should be involved in the process, rather than waking up one morning to find that mum has stolen all their toys.

Today, 12:09 PM I really don't see why you are all having such difficulty
with this concept

Today, 12:31 PM This view that every item in a house belongs to some sort
of household collective might be nice in some sort of hippy commune but
most people prefer to be treated as individuals with their own tastes, preferences


and possessions

Today, 12:46 PM But according to you I should be putting this money
towards the gas bill rather than letting my child reinvest the proceeds
towards an item of their choice

Today, 12:58 PM It really is quite simple but people on here seem
to be of the opinion that a child has no right to posessions of their own, and
are too dumb to be able to offer an opinion of what to do with things they have
outgrown.

Today, 1:43 PM If you don't seek your child's opinion on simple matters
like what should happen to their things then you are treating them as
being dumb

Today 2:04 PM I also value the opinions of my children, unlike some
forum users.

So please don't play the victim here ok. Apart from my admittedly childish comment you quoted I have made no personal attack or suggestion on you or your parenting yet you have felt free enough to make all of the above.

onlyroz

quidsy wrote: »

So please don't play the victim here ok. Apart from my admittedly childish comment you quoted I have made no personal attack or suggestion on you or your parenting yet you have felt free enough to make all of the above.

Which of those are personal attacks?

quidsy

Oh ok, I'll change it "flinging insults around by casting aspersions on my parenting skills. " Happy?

The point is, stop deflecting the discussion into "poor onlyroz". It wont work, your comments are there for all to see.

onlyroz

quidsy wrote: »

Oh ok, I'll change it "flinging insults around by casting aspersions on my parenting skills. " Happy?

The point is, stop deflecting the discussion into "poor onlyroz". It wont work, your comments are there for all to see.

Where have I done that? My comments can be boiled down to:

- Children should be able to "own" their own possessions
- Children are capable of having an opinion about what happens to their possessions, and their opinion should be sought
- If one of their possessions is told then the proceeds should go to them

I stand by all of the above and I'm not sure where all this "poor onlyroz" or "playing the victim" business comes from.

quidsy

So that's fine, they are you opinions, they can be expressed without the suggestion that parents are stealing or taking toys from their children without their knowledge or permission nor that parents who don't give the cash to their children somehow consider them stupid, dumb or without views to be respected. If only you knew how.


And when you start with silly posts like the below, that's where the "poor onlyroz" show comes in.

Originally Posted by onlyroz


You're the one who started flinging insults
around by casting aspersions on my parenting skills..

onlyroz

quidsy wrote: »

So that's fine, they are you opinions, they can be expressed without the suggestion that parents are stealing or taking toys from their children without their knowledge or permission nor that parents who don't give the cash to their children somehow consider them stupid, dumb or without views to be respected. If only you knew how.

You can't have it both ways. You have said that they have no need to be involved in decisions relating to the disposal of their old things, yet above you say that you wouldn't take something without their "knowledge or permission". So how do you go about disposing of an old toy with the knowledge and permission of the child, but without giving them a say in what happens to it?