Should I give my children money when I sell their things?

jayok

Wow, never knew getting rid of unwanted stuff gets so heated. I reiterate that my kids will get the cash if they get off their backsides and help me collate the stuff, clean it and sell it. I will get the cash if they do not

DSmiffy

Well, just putting my two pence worth in.
We have always been on a tight budget, if my kids had finished with a toy or game or ps3 / xbox game etc, I helped them trade it in or sell it on ebay and the money went towards new toys and games or something else they wanted. If it was other stuff, outgrown uniform or clothes, I sold them and that went in my pot for new clothes uniform etc.

Now they are older and both work. They both have well paid jobs. I am now separated from their father and live a more pared down lifestyle with only my wage coming in and the childrens housekeeping contributions. Anything they want to get rid of now, they are usually too lazy to put it on ebay unless it is particularly valuable. They are good at clearing out cupboards and wardrobes with the intention of taking it to the charity shop, however the binbag invariably ends up by the front door for two weeks and never manages to make the last couple of miles to the shop.

The last few times I've asked if I can have a rifle through and if I find anything I think I can ebay, I ask can I have it. They say yes, as it suits them not to have to troll down the charity shop with the bag. Any money made from that, I keep, on their say so. It helps with the household bills, and means I've been able to save a little too.

In 6 weeks the eldest will move out into his new house he has bought with his girlfriend and this weekend I am giving them a cheque made up of money made from selling all those items on ebay to spend on furniture for their new place. I wouldn't have been able to help them out if I hadn't sold his stuff in the first place.

So, in short, I sold his stuff, and I kept the money, but now, when he needs it most, it's been passed back.

Jagraf

DSmiffy wrote: »

Well, just putting my two pence worth in.
We have always been on a tight budget, if my kids had finished with a toy or game or ps3 / xbox game etc, I helped them trade it in or sell it on ebay and the money went towards new toys and games or something else they wanted. If it was other stuff, outgrown uniform or clothes, I sold them and that went in my pot for new clothes uniform etc.

Now they are older and both work. They both have well paid jobs. I am now separated from their father and live a more pared down lifestyle with only my wage coming in and the childrens housekeeping contributions. Anything they want to get rid of now, they are usually too lazy to put it on ebay unless it is particularly valuable. They are good at clearing out cupboards and wardrobes with the intention of taking it to the charity shop, however the binbag invariably ends up by the front door for two weeks and never manages to make the last couple of miles to the shop.

The last few times I've asked if I can have a rifle through and if I find anything I think I can ebay, I ask can I have it. They say yes, as it suits them not to have to troll down the charity shop with the bag. Any money made from that, I keep, on their say so. It helps with the household bills, and means I've been able to save a little too.

In 6 weeks the eldest will move out into his new house he has bought with his girlfriend and this weekend I am giving them a cheque made up of money made from selling all those items on ebay to spend on furniture for their new place. I wouldn't have been able to help them out if I hadn't sold his stuff in the first place.

So, in short, I sold his stuff, and I kept the money, but now, when he needs it most, it's been passed back.

Bingo! That's lovely and very, very sensible xx

Jagraf

onlyroz wrote: »

You can't have it both ways. You have said that they have no need to be involved in decisions relating to the disposal of their old things, yet above you say that you wouldn't take something without their "knowledge or permission". So how do you go about disposing of an old toy with the knowledge and permission of the child, but without giving them a say in what happens to it?

Because when they are little you know whether they use something or not. And then if you like you can say "do you still play with this". Or, if they are going to say yes, even if they don't, you can say "you don't play with this any more so I'm going to get rid of it". Or you just don't say anything, and they don't even notice. For confirmation, you don't pull their favourite toy out of their hand :cool:.

I have a question for you. What do you do with unwanted christmas or birthday presents given to your kids? I used to save them up and give them to other kids at parties, just like all the other parents did. Presents just circulated around, can you imagine, £5 or £10 spent on every party your child went to .....

The parents got it down to a fine art!

quidsy

onlyroz wrote: »

You can't have it both ways. You have said that they have no need to be involved in decisions relating to the disposal of their old things, yet above you say that you wouldn't take something without their "knowledge or permission". So how do you go about disposing of an old toy with the knowledge and permission of the child, but without giving them a say in what happens to it?

Me: Do you play with this (holds up abandoned toy) anymore?

Son: No

Me: I'm selling it

Son: OK

or;

Me: Do you play with this (holds up abandoned toy) anymore?

Son: Yes

Me: OK (puts toy back in box)

or;

Me: Do you play with this (holds up abandoned toy) anymore?

Son: No

Me: I'm selling it

Son: No, I might still want it later

Me: OK (puts toy back in box)


Consulted. Permission granted. Satisfaction received that toy is no longer loved or wanted.

It doesn't need to be a mega discussion. It's a simple conversation.

quidsy

For confirmation, you don't pull their favourite toy out of their hand :cool:.

F&%^ . How do you unlist something on ebay?

thriftylass

My three year old and 10 mo old are really good at making decision about their unwanted toys, too small clothes, rocking chairs and jumperoos not needed anymore. Not. You can't expect me to keep that stuff till their 6 and can make a decision. I am not spending the money on frivolities for me but most likely on stuff the kids need.

I'd say keep the money and use it wisely. As long as they are in the loop and know what's happening when they are older or get involved and get a share.

onlyroz

quidsy wrote: »

Consulted. Permission granted. Satisfaction received that toy is no longer loved or wanted.

It doesn't need to be a mega discussion. It's a simple conversation.

Did I say it had to be a mega discussion?

onlyroz

Jagraf wrote: »

I have a question for you. What do you do with unwanted christmas or birthday presents given to your kids? I used to save them up and give them to other kids at parties, just like all the other parents did. Presents just circulated around, can you imagine, £5 or £10 spent on every party your child went to .....

The parents got it down to a fine art!

I don't recall my kids ever receiving an unwanted present, although it was a close thing with the tub of slime that my brother bought my son for Christmas this year :eek:. When the time comes for the annual toy cull I ask both kids which things they no longer use and are consulted on whether the new destination should be the tip, charity shop or ebay.

onlyroz

thriftylass wrote: »

My three year old and 10 mo old are really good at making decision about their unwanted toys, too small clothes, rocking chairs and jumperoos not needed anymore. Not. You can't expect me to keep that stuff till their 6 and can make a decision. I am not spending the money on frivolities for me but most likely on stuff the kids need.

There is of course a difference between a toddler and a child who can walk, talk and express an opinion.