4yo sleeping in our bed - advice please

jetplane

notanewuser wrote: »

I think we should be more involved in how children are raised. It affects all of us.

Wonder if there are any tribes in the Amazon or on the plains of Africa following Gina Ford.........

Involved in how other peoples children are raised, how do you propose we do this? We already have the government, NHS and other 'experts' involving themselves in telling us how it should be done and how it's all our fault when it goes wrong.

We have a glut of other mothers in the crèche, nursery or school ready to give us the benefit of their wisdom. How does criticising a mother improve her relationship with her child? Does that not affect us all?

Make-it-3

Our almost 4 yr old comes into our bed at some point every night - we gave up last year and bought a bigger bed. Likewise she will go to her own bed at bedtime but wakes up and then seems to need the comfort of being near us.

I think if the gate on her door works and she isn't distressed at going back to her own bed then its not too much of a problem. If she's beginning to wake up in the night if she needs the toilet then it probably won't be long till her body learns to hold on through the night. If you want to remove the pull-ups then ask her to call out to you in the night if she needs help getting to the bathroom/using the loo.

jetplane

And I would be horrified if any of my children or grandchildren sucked their thumb :eek: Much better to give them a dummy if they need to suck for comfort whilst still a baby.


Just saying...

kerri_gt

jetplane wrote: »

And I would be horrified if any of my children or grandchildren sucked their thumb :eek: Much better to give them a dummy if they need to suck for comfort whilst still a baby.


Just saying...

personally I hate dummies but I do understand they are slightly easier to remove than a thumb. My mum tried most things to get me to stop - that bitter stuff you put on nails, plasters on my thumb to give it a funny texture / taste, probably bribery but at the end of the day, I just grew out of it (mostly)

notanewuser

jetplane wrote: »

And I would be horrified if any of my children or grandchildren sucked their thumb :eek: Much better to give them a dummy if they need to suck for comfort whilst still a baby.


Just saying...

I think your alleged "horror" at the thought says more about you than me, to be honest.

We offered her a dummy but she was having none of it. Can't blame her - we evolved the thumb sucking in the womb as a source of comfort. Perhaps in a few hundred thousand years they'll come out with little silicone plugs instead.

onlyroz

notanewuser wrote: »

Children in the UK are some of the unhappiest in Europe/the world.

Do you have a quote for that?

jetplane

kerri_gt wrote: »

personally I hate dummies but I do understand they are slightly easier to remove than a thumb. My mum tried most things to get me to stop - that bitter stuff you put on nails, plasters on my thumb to give it a funny texture / taste, probably bribery but at the end of the day, I just grew out of it (mostly)

Not having a go. I was just demonstrating how one persons right is another persons wrong.

kerri_gt

notanewuser wrote: »

I'll support the teacher in matters of crowd control etc. If DD needs to be told not to do something at school then that's fine. But the thumb sucking affects nobody but DD, and while it's not something I encourage, it's her comfort and helps her when she's tired etc. I thought the teacher crossed a line there.

The dentist mentions it very gently when we visit. DD knows that if she wants to suck her thumb she must have clean(isn) hands. We're happy with that as her parents. I must ask her whether she sucks it at school still.

I can see your point, and tbh, she is still virtually a baby.

notanewuser

jetplane wrote: »

Involved in how other peoples children are raised, how do you propose we do this? We already have the government, NHS and other 'experts' involving themselves in telling us how it should be done and how it's all our fault when it goes wrong.

We have a glut of other mothers in the crèche, nursery or school ready to give us the benefit of their wisdom. How does criticising a mother improve her relationship with her child? Does that not affect us all?

I don't mean like Big Brother. I'm lucky to have a very solid group of friends with children close in age to my own. We met at antenatal classes. We're very close and are happy to ask for/give advice and support when needed. They're like sisters, even though we have done things differently (2 are still breastfed at night at 4+, one is homeschooling etc). It's not much different to the support networks that other cultures have where sisters, aunts, etc help raise children together. Many animals do it too.

Have you never heard the saying "it takes a village to raise a child"? How many tragic events have happened without anybody knowing because we're all so fragmented in our society nowadays. I commented to the dad of a boy my daughter is in school with this morning that they live less than 100 yards behind us but we never met before the kids started school.

notanewuser

onlyroz wrote: »

Do you have a quote for that?

Take your pick. Articles from 2007-2014.

https://www.google.co.uk/?gfe_rd=cr&ei=iTO0VPvIOYTEaM__gtgB#q=uk+children+unhappiest