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Dating opinions please
Comments
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Where are you? I haven't had a good snog in years!:beer: Been smoke free for 4 years!! :beer:0
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All very well and good but I wouldn't be going on 11 dates and keep saying no to a snog. As a previous OP has said, I wouldn't be going on a date with someone I wouldn't want to snog.
No me neither, in fact, I wouldn't go on a date with someone who I hadn't already decided I wanted to snog at some pointWith love, POSR
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This is where we disagree.purpleshoes wrote: »I know that some couples aren't particularly demonstrative, but the beginning of a relationship is generally the you can't keep your hands off one another stage. Doesn't need to be date 1, but by date 11 and not even a kiss, it's heading nowhere.
Value-for-money-for-me-puhleeze!
"No man is worth, crawling on the earth"- adapted from Bob Crewe and Bob Gaudio
Hope is not a strategy
...A child is for life, not just 18 years....Don't get me started on the NHS, because you won't win...I love chaz-ing!0 -
Barney1979 - if she's that unresponsive and frigid around a simple kiss than imagine how difficult it will be to get her to do anything else....if you know what I mean.
Move on and chalk it up to experience...nobody wants a dead fish.We’ve had to remove your signature. Please check the Forum Rules if you’re unsure why it’s been removed and, if still unsure, email forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com0 -
Totally disagree.
Perfectly fine for you to disagree with my opinion.
I'm not being harsh on the OP - it's your opinion that I'm being harsh on the OP.You're being overly harsh on the OP (because he's male, I'd hazard a guess). If a woman had posted the same thing, I'm sure the conversation would have taken a different tone; certainly we wouldn't have suggestions that the relationship is going to fast for the precious little flower to be comfortable with. After 11 dates? with very little sharing of expenses by her? She is taking the pi$$ OP. I'd get rid. Concentrate your efforts on finding someone who does't have issues and is prepared to pay her way fairly. Good luck!
(For the record, I'm a women of similar age).
It's not because he's male.
The post of mine that you chose to quote pointed out that the OP thoughta good snog is the key to a relationship.
Are you saying that you also think the key to a relationship is a good snog?
I think a lot of things are key to a relationship - but I wouldn't put 'a good snog' in the top 10.
You have no idea what background or baggage the 'precious little flower' may have (WOW! And you think I'm being harsh on the OP!).
Actually nobody posting on this thread has any idea because the OP hasn't enlightened us on that.
We know she's 34, Caucasian and single for 2 years - but that's all.0 -
Having been in a situation with someone who I thought was really ok, but once we kissed at the end of the second date,it was like an explosion happened, hands everywhere.., and he didn't take it kindly when I said no, that's going too far too quickly. He was in his forties, not 15 lol.
Then there was another guy.., who it turned out was a player. Let him go to far.., and felt yuk when I discovered the truth.
And when I tried online dating, the majority of the men were demanding phone numbers within one message or two, and reacted badly when I said I'd prefer to get to know you first (saying that too many women led them on with no intention of dating).
This is over some years. A lot hasn't been included. Including a fairly unpleasant relationship leading to huge trust issues.
So as a consequence I don't date anymore. I'd rather be on my own.
But to be honest, a 35 year old boy looking for a 'good snog' as an indicator of a good relationshop.., yes, I'd definitely avoid lol. But it wouldn't take me 11 dates to decide!0 -
I'm not being harsh on the OP - it's your opinion that I'm being harsh on the OP.
You are being harsh on the OP - it's your opinion that you're not being harsh on the OP. So that clears that up, eh?
I don't think a good snog is key to a relationship and I don't think the OP meant that either, not in a literal sense in any case. I read it to mean that having some chemistry and passion (as indicated by a good snog), was key to a good relationship. Certainly in the earlier stages when everything is new and exciting. And this I do agree with.
Someone who, having not already communicated any reason otherwise, is not comfortable with a passionate kiss after 11 dates is behaving poorly in my opinion. As Brighton Belle said, if there were genuine reasons that she may find this difficult, then she should have had enough respect for the OP person to communicate this before they got to this stage. She is stringing him along and whatever skeletons she may have in her closet, it's not acceptable behavior.Remember Occam's Razor - the simplest explanation is usually the right one.
32 and mortgage-free0 -
We have differing opinions.You are being harsh on the OP - it's your opinion that you're not being harsh on the OP. So that clears that up, eh?
And that does clear things up.
Perhaps the OP should write what he actually means then....because he certainly did sayI don't think a good snog is key to a relationship and I don't think the OP meant that either, not in a literal sense in any case. I read it to mean that having some chemistry and passion (as indicated by a good snog), was key to a good relationship. Certainly in the earlier stages when everything is new and exciting. And this I do agree with.
whether he meant that or not.For me, a good snog is the key to a relationship.
Maybe the OP's friend does have genuine reasons for not feeling ready for 'a good snog'.Someone who, having not already communicated any reason otherwise, is not comfortable with a passionate kiss after 11 dates is behaving poorly in my opinion. As Brighton Belle said, if there were genuine reasons that she may find this difficult, then she should have had enough respect for the OP person to communicate this before they got to this stage. She is stringing him along and whatever skeletons she may have in her closet, it's not acceptable behavior.
Maybe she has different ideas about intimacy to the OP (and clearly you).0 -
Maybe the OP's friend does have genuine reasons for not feeling ready for 'a good snog'.
Maybe she has different ideas about intimacy to the OP (and clearly you).
I therefore repeat:
If that is the case, then she should have communicated these reasons or ideas to the OP at an earlier stage, because as you can see from the majority of responses on this thread, most people consider 11 dates (paid for almost exclusively by the OP) without even so much as a hint of a kiss, is not normal behavior for someone who is supposedly romantically interested. Ergo, whatever her situation, it is her at fault here and not the OP.Remember Occam's Razor - the simplest explanation is usually the right one.
32 and mortgage-free0
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