Boyfriend disclosed he visited a prostitute in India one year before we got together

trollopscarletwoman

Joanthebone wrote: »

The price he paid is not important, the fact that he is the sort of bloke to pay for sex would be the end of any sort of relationship with me.

What if a man was lacking confidence thinking that 'a normal relationship' was beyond him, and thinking that sex would never happen for him, so paid for it to happen. We've seen telly documentaries about this kind of thing.

With a new found confidence would that change the scenario?

Mojisola

Confused5 wrote: »

he was discussing how me missed me in India as I was busy and not really replying to his emails/phone calls when he was pursuing me for a LDR back then. He said he was feeling very isolated. He said he hardly saw the same people every day, missed human comfort and wanted to remember what it was like to be with a woman.

A friend of mine got the same spiel from a bloke she knew - he was really lonely, he hadn't had sex for a few months and really wanted some comfort from a girl - he didn't tell her that he hadn't had sex because his wife had had a difficult few months at the end of her pregnancy and that he had just come from the hospital having watched her give birth!

poppy_f1

id be wanting a full STI check but i dont think it would bother me

theres plenty of men out there who prob wouldnt have mentioned it

System

You weren't together. He wanted a woman.... Rightly or wrongly he paid for it.

Give him a lecture about how he could have 'given' you anything but let it go.

Tropez

With things like this there's lots of different viewpoints. My final year dissertation on criminology was on the sex industry, including prostitution, and during my research I've encountered just about every viewpoint from legal experts, psychologists, sociologists, clients and workers.

I have my own opinions about what is acceptable and what is not.

But I'd say this is one of those things that really is up to your own sense of ethics. People will have strong views about whether it is right or wrong, but the only view that matters is your own, OP.

I think the best course of action, assuming this is something that has only just been brought to light, is get some space and give yourself some time until you're no longer overcome with raw emotion. Time will give you your answer as to what to do.

19lottie82

Joanthebone wrote: »

The price he paid is not important, the fact that he is the sort of bloke to pay for sex would be the end of any sort of relationship with me.

Why?......just curious.

19lottie82

I find it weird that prostitution is illegal. But if you ask someone to sleep with you for cash with the purpose of filming it, that's perfectly fine. Weird, right?

Tropez

19lottie82 wrote: »

I find it weird that prostitution is illegal. But if you ask someone to sleep with you for cash with the purpose of filming it, that's perfectly fine. Weird, right?

Prostitution is not illegal in the UK.

Many of the ways one may find a prostitute in the UK have been criminalised, and it is illegal to operate a brothel (which has a silly definition legally) but it is not actually illegal to pay for sex, or to accept payment for sex.

Oh but it is illegal to pay a man/woman who has been trafficked or is otherwise being exploited, whether the client is aware of this status or not, for sex.

Edwardia

Myself, I don't think that the location matters. There are women being trafficked into the UK to work as sex slaves, from Eastern Europe.

So regardless whether the woman was a Caucasian in Bradford or low caste Hindu in Mumbai, she may not have being selling her body of her own free will.

The boyfriend doesn't think she was coerced but unless he speaks the language/local dialect fluently he doesn't actually know.

My reaction would be that it took place before our relationship BUT he should have been responsible and worn a condom AND had a full sexual health screening on his return home.

If he had unprotected sex with her, hadn't been tested and had then had unprotected sex with me, I'd dump him even if he tested negative.

Gigglepig

I would have difficulties with the exploiting people in a vastly different financial situation aspect of this. Sorry but if my OH told me this I'd lose a lot of respect for him. If he told me "it was of her own free choice" to me it sounds like a complete lack of empathy for what "choices" are open to poor people in different parts of the world. And I honestly don't get why if a guy wants a prostitute, he'd go for the option of paying pennies for someone living in poverty, or pick up a worn down addict off the street in the UK for that matter. Prostitution aside, to me this it sounds heartless and in bad taste - and I'd think he'd be completely stupid from a health risk point of view.