What Do Women Gain From Marriage?

lisyloo

As long as you have the person you want named in your medical records, it can be anyone.

There are mllions of people who don't write a simple will - let alone think about lasting power of attorney or next of kin.
Sorry but in general there are legal benefits and recognition to being married.

Technially I guess you could probably set up a trust and paperwork for every single pension pot you have and every eventuality e.g. lasting power of attorney and cover every single eventuality e.g. deaths not in the order you expected.
How many people do you think do this for every single pension fund they have from every previous job and every single insurance policy?

I'd say it's a very small number, plus there is nothing stopping your spouse changing their will/wishes any time they like.
Sorry but marriage has a permanent recognition that cannot be changed simply by one party whereas one party can certainly change their own will any time they like.

I personally also believe there is family, society and business recognition.
Everyone knows what you mean when you say "This is Mrs so and so".
If you say "This is my partner" no-one has a clue whether you met yesterday or 20 years ago.
You can disagree with that part if you like - but it's a plain FACT that anyone can change their will anytime they like - so wives/husbands absolutely have protection that partners simply don't have.

If you are starting out in life that might not matter so much, but if you're in your 50's and have 6 or 7 figures worth of pension funds and property then it may matter that these things are sorted correctly.

BTW - I did live with my partner for 7 years before getting married.
I felt I didn't have family recognition of our commitment as he was just another boyfriend.
It also became important in financial terms.
There are plenty of times that I feel my "status" is recognised and I'm proud of it - even in restaurants, hotels, airlines.
If you haven't been both married and unmarried I'm not sure how you could be positive there is no difference.
For me there definitely is.

Alikay

Mojisola wrote: »

Absolutely agree!

Relationships are made up of two people - not two stereotypes. How any particular couple work out what suits them in their relationship is down to them.

Exactly. And some couples want whatever additional benefits they perceive a ceremony and certificate bring (myself included) and other couples are happier with alternative arrangements (wills and other forms of financial/property/family protection).

Some relationships are 50/50 in most things, others work 99/1 (am somewhat puzzled by the master/slave set-up myself but the internet tells me there are people living fulfilled llives in such relationships:rotfl:). Vive la difference...

Vicky123

Gloomendoom wrote: »

I can't complain. 8 out of 9 isn't bad.

Orlando_Virgin wrote: »

The original "list" that was written was the biggest load of sexist tosh I have ever read. It's like this link someone put on FB the other day "26 things a man should do" and one of them was to "every day he should run a candlelit bath and listen patiently to you talk about your day". The scary thing was the comments underneath, people were actually liking and agreeing with it.

These people are morons, who have spent too much time either watching romcoms or are acting like cavemen.

The thing is though, there are men out there who still believe women have a specific role in life which is to make sure that the alpha male is happy, they do exist and if your unlucky enough to find that's what you've married then the idea of this caveman running your bath is as just as bizarre but for completely different reasons. Often times Mr Alpha turns out to be totally inadequateand chronically lazy who actually contributes very little if anything to his marriage. The reason women marry them is because they are usually very good at hiding these endearing qualities, who would willingly enter into a mysoginistic relationship?

Gavin83

Angelinaxoxo wrote: »

In 2014 what do women gain from marriage ?

Surely the same thing that men gain, which is essentially some legal rights. Marriage gives you nothing else that a normal relationship won't give. However the blog is really referring to relationships rather than marriage.

lisyloo

Vive la difference...

I agree.
The only caveat I'd place is that it's actually quite complicated to sort out every single pension and financial matter and also one partner can change their wishes without notifying the other.

I have no issue with what others do and don't place any judgment, but I know for us it would be quite complicated financially and I'd said it's very common to have had a few jobs during your career (think I have 5 pension funds).
I'm not saying it's impossible, just that most people don't get past step 1 of writing a will.

fairy_lights

My Boyfriend does most of the cooking our house, I hope he doesn't expect me to start doing it if we get married. I'd better ask him about it actually because there's no way I'm marrying him if he expects me to become a good cook

Mojisola

lisyloo wrote: »

There are mllions of people who don't write a simple will - let alone think about lasting power of attorney or next of kin.
Sorry but in general there are legal benefits and recognition to being married.

I agree with you.

My post was pointing out to lika_86 that being NOK isn't dependent on being married.

There are many long term but unmarried couples who don't put the legal safeguards in place and, even if they do, they can't make use of inheritance tax exemptions and some benefits that are only for spouses.

lostinrates

Mojisola wrote: »

You don't need to be married for someone to be your medical 'next-of-kin'.

As long as you have the person you want named in your medical records, it can be anyone.

http://www.advicenow.org.uk/living-together/next-of-kin/

In our circumstance this was repeatedly if not constantly overlooked. Marriage completely resolved this issue. However, I'm confident age and time might have done, but then time was something we were told we were short on.

Mojisola

Vicky123 wrote: »

The thing is though, there are men out there who still believe women have a specific role in life which is to make sure that the alpha male is happy

And there are women who want to live like that - as long as both people are honest with each other before getting into relationships, there could be a lot more happy couples.

Orlando_Virgin

Yeah it is strange. I think the "alpha male" thing is slowly phasing out though. Don't get me wrong, I class myself as an alpha male, I'm still protective, stubborn, like my football, "time with the lads", I even make the odd sexist joke. They are characteristics of my personality though, it's down to me as to when I act like that.

But I still see any OH that I choose as my equal. Without doubt. Different? Yes, but in no way not my equal. I would always chip in with whatever has been predefined in the past as a "woman's job". Likewise with what are classed as "men's jobs" In reality, these things are things that need doing in the relationship and the balance needs to be right for both of you.

In all relationships the balance will be different, but as long as the both of you are happy and the respect remains, then surely that's enough.