What Do Women Gain From Marriage?

PenguinJim

Angelinaxoxo wrote: »

Putting love aside, what do you feel women gain from marriage? I was reading the blog a man that claims to "teach men how to get the woman they want". His list for what a good wife is:

1. beautiful
2. faithful
3. cleans
4. cooks
5. takes care of children
6. maintains weight
7. laundry
8. never let's herself go
9. sex at least a few nights a week



His list for what a good husband is:

1. works
2. faithful

What sexist, outdated tosh!

Angelinaxoxo wrote: »

It seems as if in most marriages, as long as the woman is awake she is working. She works in the office then works at home. But you still hear more men complain about marriage than women. Everything women do WITH marriage they'd still do WITHOUT marriage but it would only be for themselves (less work).

What sexist, outdated tosh! :rotfl:

Angelinaxoxo wrote: »

In 2014 what do women gain from marriage ?

Oh, you know what year it is after all. What do women gain from marriage? I'm struggling to think what most people gain from "marriage" itself. But applying your sexist slant to my own marriage (although I prefer the term "partnership"), my partner has a larger and much nicer home than she could possibly have afforded by herself (and it's entirely in her name), it's cleaned for her on a regular basis (I've just finished mopping the floors, coincidentally enough), she eats far better than she ever did before (she has her own personal cook now - hi!), she's terrible at driving cars but she now has her own personal chauffeur (I'm driving her to a modern art museum on Saturday, as requested), and she can quit work any time she likes (I've been "demanding" it for over a year, but not getting very far! ). There's some travel stuff and having a tech geek on hand (RAM stick failure last night! Oh no!) etc etc, but surely you get the point.

I can't quite put my finger on what our genders have to do with any of this, though. Are you suggesting that if I had been born a woman, I wouldn't be able to drive a car, have a good job, cook or clean? :A I don't think women are as useless as you suggest!

FBaby

These "definitions" haven't appeared to change much

Really? My OH and I looked for very similar traits in each other, so clearly not gender specific.

I was looking for a man who is:
- strong minded
- determined
- hard working
- confident
- independent
- reliable
- charismatic
- reflective
- adventurous
- funny (including able to laugh at himself)
- relaxed
- affectionate
- caring
- health conscious
- sporty

Very different to the traditional list! Marriage is a case of when I found the above man (took quite some searching!), I wanted to commit to him forever.

NYGiants

Women are getting lazier and lazier..

My ex ballooned up to a size 12 and she was quickly turfed out on her ear..

Marisco

lika_86 wrote: »

The ability to pull the plug on the machine?

Everything else I can get from being in a long-term relationship and putting in place appropriate legal stuff.

Spot on! I can't think of any benefits to actual marriage, but quite a few to having a special person in your life.

lisyloo

Why does the 2014 woman want to get married? What do you feel you have to gain from it?

1) Unconditional love - up to a point. By that I mean I'd expect people to accept each others faults but not put up with abuse.
2) Complete support when times are tough. This is emotional, financial and practical. When DH was out of work I supported him emotionally, but if either of us is busy at work the other will support in a practical sense by temporarily taking over a large share of chores.
3) Companionship with someone you trust totally.
4) Financial, emotional and practical security.
5) As a couple you generally have a broader range of skills to cope with life in general e.g. one of you might be good with money, the other better at DIY.

Do you need to have a marriage certificate?
Not necessarily for yourself but it definitely has recognition by family, society and authority e.g. next of kin.

None of anything I've said stops a woman being independent, having other interest, friends, career etc.

Person_one

lika_86 wrote: »

The ability to pull the plug on the machine?

Everything else I can get from being in a long-term relationship and putting in place appropriate legal stuff.

Not everything else, there are still legal benefits and rights that only come with marriage. Have a look at the link I posted.

Alikay

I've gained a lot through marrying my DH 27 years ago:

A much nicer home than I ever could've afforded alone
The DNA required to create our lovely children
Someone who loves them as much as I do to co-parent them
A loyal friend and companion to share all sorts of activities with
Sexual benefits
Someone to help with all the things needed to make life run smoothly (some jobs we share 50/50, others we divvy up according to timing or ability).

I guess a marriage certificate isn't necessary for all of the above, but all those years ago we felt getting married defined the permanence of our relationship, and I don't think either of us would have properly taken on board the lifelong commitment without a wedding.

DFlights

I'd gain nothing from marriage personally - no children, I don't want people to assume I've changed my name, and our finances have always been separate (with a joint account for rent and bills).
With a will in place, I see no reason for me to be married. Very, very few of the scenarios in the link posted above apply to my and my OH - we're joint tenants on our house, we have our own money, and we've already agreed that, if we should ever split up, we'll just divide up the belongings equally, or sell them all and divide up the cash 50/50.
If he dies, as he doesn't have a will, everything will probably go to either his son or his parents, and that's fine with me. Neither of us has much to give anyway!

lostinrates

elsien wrote: »

:rotfl: Good luck with that one.
Meanwhile, back in the real world he's probably not had a date in about 20 years. And not likely to get one in the next 20.

He might well have dated. However, the emphasis he puts on skills like conversation, intelligence, support and compassion in his ideal partner suggests his own vacuousness might mean that people considering him a good catch might not be great thinkers or wise. Still, everyone can blog!

catkins

Surely people don't get married to "gain" something other than love and companionship?


Me and OH got married because we wanted to show commitment to each other and we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together.