What Do Women Gain From Marriage?

PenguinJim

I needed a visa.

lostinrates

My husband and I married in our twenties. I have chronic ill health and at that time i felt it pressing DH was considered my NOK something we had made clear and attended to but that people kept assuming my parents would be. Being married was a very simple, pragmatic way to resolve this. ( besides all the romance). While it wasn't the reason we got married it certainly impacted on our decision making when scheduling and diaries became involved. We felt that it was a legal cementing of a emotional and spiritual connection already made.

Fwiw we are tidying up loose ends ATM,( its never to soon to think about thinks like lasting powers of attorney and it occurred to us DH doesn't have one because we'd never considered the outside chance I might out last him seriously, but who knowS? )

Being married has impact on how our finances are managed, how we save, decisions we take with joint finances and the risks we take. Sometimes its possible to go further out on a limb than you might feel able to daily because there are two of you and one can hold fort.....other times, what you see as safe you have to temper because it is outwith the other's boundary of comfort.

Gloomendoom

catkins wrote: »

Surely people don't get married to "gain" something other than love and companionship?


Me and OH got married because we wanted to show commitment to each other and we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together.

Likewise, although we also wanted to demonstrate that commitment to the world at large.

AngelOfTheNorth

lika_86 wrote: »

The ability to pull the plug on the machine?

Everything else I can get from being in a long-term relationship and putting in place appropriate legal stuff.

Oh no you can't!

Buzzybee90

AngelOfTheNorth wrote: »

Oh no you can't!

But the stuff in the OP, on which this thread is based, can be gained through any relationship, not just a marriage.

Even if it is a stupid list.

Mojisola

lika_86 wrote: »

The ability to pull the plug on the machine?

Everything else I can get from being in a long-term relationship and putting in place appropriate legal stuff.

You don't need to be married for someone to be your medical 'next-of-kin'.

As long as you have the person you want named in your medical records, it can be anyone.

http://www.advicenow.org.uk/living-together/next-of-kin/

Orlando_Virgin

The original "list" that was written was the biggest load of sexist tosh I have ever read. It's like this link someone put on FB the other day "26 things a man should do" and one of them was to "every day he should run a candlelit bath and listen patiently to you talk about your day". The scary thing was the comments underneath, people were actually liking and agreeing with it.

These people are morons, who have spent too much time either watching romcoms or are acting like cavemen.

AngelOfTheNorth

Buzzybee90 wrote: »

But the stuff in the OP, on which this thread is based, can be gained through any relationship, not just a marriage.

Even if it is a stupid list.

That isn't what lika was referring to, though, as she mentioned putting in place appropriate legal stuff. Which only goes so far.

Mojisola

Orlando_Virgin wrote: »

The original "list" that was written was the biggest load of sexist tosh I have ever read.

Absolutely agree!

Relationships are made up of two people - not two stereotypes. How any particular couple work out what suits them in their relationship is down to them.

Orlando_Virgin

Mojisola wrote: »

Absolutely agree!

Relationships are made up of two people - not two stereotypes. How any particular couple work out what suits them in their relationship is down to them.

Yeah exactly! Whether you are a man or a woman we are all seeking different things in a potential OH. Someone should "stay beautiful forever", what does that even mean!? Surely if you love someone, they are beautiful to you anyway, regardless.