Awkward Decison to Make

northerntwo1

Worst case scenario you get let down but know you tried. I give my neices and nephews £50 a year minimum as gifts (Xmas and birthday at £25), so I'd look on it as a whole load of back gifts if mine let me down.

As long as its not money you can't afford I think you've done an admirable gesture one that I hope has a happy ending.

It must be hard getting into debt after sporadic employment so if I were wearing your heels i would do the same. Mine are small but if we lost touch I'd not stop loving them or wanting to help. I'm saying this IF I could afford it as I woukd say no if I couldn't afford it.

harrys_nan

Well I think you come over as a really nice person, I hope he pays you back and keeps your faith in him. It is very easy to get into money trouble these days and once that gets hold, it only get worse.
I would have done the same as you, everyone needs a helping hand sometimes, well done you xx

theoretica

Buzzybee90 wrote: »

Do not lend money to anyone you don't trust with your life.

This had me laughing as I am considerably fonder of my life than of my money! Then I thought of all the people I trust with my life in various ways (car drivers, for instance), but wouldn't lend money to. My take would be don't lend money it would be a major disaster not to get back on time and to people you would be prepared to give or bequeath it to.

Lieja

I think you're a lovely person, OP. Far too much cynicism on this board most of the time.

I really hope your nephew manages sort everything out.

JIL

If you can afford to lend him the money then why not? Can I ask if you have children? I'm sure most parents will know they can cost a fortune and we never seem to be spending out on them even when they are adults. Others may not agree but we have helped ours through uni and house deposits. Its our money and we can choose how to spend it. I could not see my own flesh and blood struggle knowing I could help.
Maybe you feel a bit of that for your nephew?
Its your money and you should follow your own instincts.

jumpingjackd

If you can afford to give, and possibly lose this loan then I would say give it, if you lose then look at is as losing 27 years worth of presents that you would maybe have given had you been in touch. He must be desperate to ask I think (unless hes an out and out conman)and good luck to him, hope he makes it and repays your generosity

Too many replies here are quite selfish and cynical I think We all need help at times, ,,,, karma

Better_Days

Last year my brother asked me to be guarantor for a loan as he has a poor credit history. He needed the money for a very good reason in circumstances that could neither be anticipated nor avoided.

I refused to be a guarantor, but I did lend him some money. His past record with finances has not been good, but I believe he has changed, with significant help from his wife.

When I lent him the money I made it clear (in writing) how much I expected to be repaid, when, and stipulated that if a payment is likely to be missed then he had to contact me and let me know. A shared understanding of the agreement is vital, and I did not want to fall out as a result of lack of clarity.

So far it has worked out fine. The direct debit comes into my bank account every week and over half the loan has been repaid. There have been two occasions when my brother has missed a weekly payment and both times he contacted me beforehand.

I send him a regular 'statement' of the amount borrowed, repaid and outstanding.

Both my brother and SIL have expressed their gratitude for the help.

There is a difference between helping people out and being taken advantage of. Sometimes the line is very thin, it is a judgement call, and it is not always clear at the outset if it is a risk worth taking. The risk is not only financial, but the damage that can be done to a relationship if the loan is not repaid. I can only hope that if I am in a pickle in the future, due to no fault of my own, one of my family members will take a similar risk for me.

SavingPennies_2

Sounds like there is more to this than meets the eye, contacting you after 27 years?.. he sounds desperate... You say that he earns a small amount - £370 a week! Thats more than I earn and I manage to pay a mortgage, bills and save money, so why feel sorry for him on that wage, I certainly dont feel sorry for myself. Plus if he's earning that and living with his dad he must have very little outgoings (other than debt repayments) so where is the rest of his money going? Anyway if you are intent on doing this I'd lend him the money yourself - if you can afford to lose it. You sound like a nice person, I hope this works out for both of you.

Buzzybee90

theoretica wrote: »

This had me laughing as I am considerably fonder of my life than of my money! Then I thought of all the people I trust with my life in various ways (car drivers, for instance), but wouldn't lend money to. My take would be don't lend money it would be a major disaster not to get back on time and to people you would be prepared to give or bequeath it to.

It's a turn of phrase.

Orlando_Virgin

It was a strange thread to read this, because my head said "don't be stupid, you will never see that money again", but the more I read on my heart was saying "aw give him the money he needs to get his HGV1!!"

At the end of the day I think you have done the right thing, and I really hope it pays off for you. You can read off some of the posts in here that SOME of the people on this site really are Money Lovers, rather than money saving experts.

To be honest, I have fallen foul of this before. I lent my sister a considerable amount of money in the past, which she never paid back, but I could afford to lose it, and it put a roof over my nephew's head so I decided it was more important. That being said, I have never QUITE been the same with her since. She ambles on like nothing ever happened though.

That was more about the lack of communication or attempt to explain WHY she didn't pay it back though, I think in my heart of hearts I knew I wasn't going to get it back.

FWIW you seem like a lovely, sensible person OP.:)