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Awkward Decison to Make
tesuhoha
Posts: 17,971 Forumite
I was contacted today by a nephew who I have had no contact with for 27 years. He is the son of my brother who I never see and they live about 150 miles away at least.
This nephew rang me and asked me if I would guarantee him for a loan of between £1,000-£1500. I was caught on the hop and thinking it was a bank loan I said yes initially.
However, on talking over dinner with my family we realised that the company was not a bank and was a company that guarantees loans for businesses. Someone on this site said. 'If someone asks you to be a guarantor for this company then refuse or lend them the money yourself.
So I then sent him a text saying sorry but the answer is no and telling him that my husband is retiring in 3 months, which is true.
He then texted back that he didn't like to ask but he was absolutely desperate. He's had a really bad year, people letting him down. I've been trying to get some detail and make sense of it since then. Apparently he doesn't earn much - £370 pw and he has got behind with some car payments. He is living with his dad (my brother) and his dad wants to charge him rent he can't afford so he wants to move out to a cheaper room. His girlfriend is going to pay back half the loan (the reason why I did ask but could not understand the reply).
We are now communicating by text and I have just asked him outright what he is going to do with the £1500. (I think car repairs come into it). He hasn't replied.
The thing is I am absolutely not going to guarantee a payday loan but what I was thinking was maybe lending him the money interest free. Don't get me wrong I don't want to but I feel really bad about not helping someone who is desperate. I know what it is like.
My husband has worked out his income and outgoings and reckons he won't be able to pay the loan back. He says if we lend it to him we won't get it back. It just seems awfully sad that someone working hard cannot manage.
Have just heard from him, basically the money is to clear debt with high interest so they can wipe the slate clean. His girlfriend is going to pay half the loan off.
This nephew rang me and asked me if I would guarantee him for a loan of between £1,000-£1500. I was caught on the hop and thinking it was a bank loan I said yes initially.
However, on talking over dinner with my family we realised that the company was not a bank and was a company that guarantees loans for businesses. Someone on this site said. 'If someone asks you to be a guarantor for this company then refuse or lend them the money yourself.
So I then sent him a text saying sorry but the answer is no and telling him that my husband is retiring in 3 months, which is true.
He then texted back that he didn't like to ask but he was absolutely desperate. He's had a really bad year, people letting him down. I've been trying to get some detail and make sense of it since then. Apparently he doesn't earn much - £370 pw and he has got behind with some car payments. He is living with his dad (my brother) and his dad wants to charge him rent he can't afford so he wants to move out to a cheaper room. His girlfriend is going to pay back half the loan (the reason why I did ask but could not understand the reply).
We are now communicating by text and I have just asked him outright what he is going to do with the £1500. (I think car repairs come into it). He hasn't replied.
The thing is I am absolutely not going to guarantee a payday loan but what I was thinking was maybe lending him the money interest free. Don't get me wrong I don't want to but I feel really bad about not helping someone who is desperate. I know what it is like.
My husband has worked out his income and outgoings and reckons he won't be able to pay the loan back. He says if we lend it to him we won't get it back. It just seems awfully sad that someone working hard cannot manage.
Have just heard from him, basically the money is to clear debt with high interest so they can wipe the slate clean. His girlfriend is going to pay half the loan off.
The forest would be very silent if no birds sang except for the birds that sang the best
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Comments
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Why can't his own parent step in?I'm a Forum Ambassador on the housing, mortgages & student money saving boards. I volunteer to help get your forum questions answered and keep the forum running smoothly. Forum Ambassadors are not moderators and don't read every post. If you spot an illegal or inappropriate post then please report it to forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com (it's not part of my role to deal with this). Any views are mine and not the official line of MoneySavingExpert.com.0
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Sorry but if someone,who I had not had contact with for 27 years asked me for a loan, then I would refuse.
If your nephew has got issues then direct him to the debt free wanabee board of this site0 -
If somebody I hadn't seen in 27 years suddenly asked out the blue for a large loan I'd tell them were to go. Surely there's somebody they're closer to who they can sponge off?0
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gettingtheresometime wrote: »Sorry but if someone,who I had not had contact with for 27 years asked me for a loan, then I would refuse.
If your nephew has got issues then direct him to the debt free wanabee board of this site
He hasn't actually asked me for a loan, just to guarantee one.
I might direct him here anyway.The forest would be very silent if no birds sang except for the birds that sang the best0 -
Excuse the language....
DON'T BE SO BL**DY STUPID
It WILL end in tears. We all know it. Walk away and forget him for another 27 years. There is no other advice.Pants0 -
Make no mistake, if you hand over any money it will end up being a gift, possibly via an acrimonious family argument.
Can you afford it?
Will it actually help? If this chap hasn't been in touch for 27 years, you can't know his character very well..
Might be more useful to suggest a real solution - send him a link to the MSE Debt-free Wannabe board.
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Never lend money that you can't afford to lose...
If you're willing to lose the money then lend it, if not, dont't.
Sounds like a con if you ask me; he'll pay the first loan back, then ask for a bit more, he'll then pay that back then the payoff - he'll ask for something crazy like 20 grand.We’ve had to remove your signature. Please check the Forum Rules if you’re unsure why it’s been removed and, if still unsure, email forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com0 -
If somebody I hadn't seen in 27 years suddenly asked out the blue for a large loan I'd tell them were to go. Surely there's somebody they're closer to who they can sponge off?
No, he hasn't got anyone and his parents have been absolutely awful to him. His mother in hospital with bi polar and schizophrenia every year since he was born. His father has never worked and is very selfish.
He works hard and his company are paying for him to take his class 1 hgv licence. I know this is true because he has been talking about it on Facebook for months. I do check in to him and his brother's facebook to see how they are getting on.The forest would be very silent if no birds sang except for the birds that sang the best0 -
I was contacted today by a nephew who I have had no contact with for 27 years. He is the son of my brother who I never see and they live about 150 miles away at least.
This nephew rang me and asked me if I would guarantee him for a loan of between £1,000-£1500. I was caught on the hop and thinking it was a bank loan I said yes initially.
However, on talking over dinner with my family we realised that the company was not a bank and was a company that guarantees loans for businesses. Someone on this site said. 'If someone asks you to be a guarantor for this company then refuse or lend them the money yourself.
So I then sent him a text saying sorry but the answer is no and telling him that my husband is retiring in 3 months, which is true.
He then texted back that he didn't like to ask but he was absolutely desperate. He's had a really bad year, people letting him down. I've been trying to get some detail and make sense of it since then. Apparently he doesn't earn much - £370 pw and he has got behind with some car payments. He is living with his dad (my brother) and his dad wants to charge him rent he can't afford so he wants to move out to a cheaper room. His girlfriend is going to pay back half the loan (the reason why I did ask but could not understand the reply).
We are now communicating by text and I have just asked him outright what he is going to do with the £1500. (I think car repairs come into it). He hasn't replied.
The thing is I am absolutely not going to guarantee a payday loan
but what I was thinking was maybe lending him the money interest free. Don't get me wrong I don't want to but I feel really bad about not helping someone who is desperate. I know what it is like.
My husband has worked out his income and outgoings and reckons he won't be able to pay the loan back. He says if we lend it to him we won't get it back. It just seems awfully sad that someone working hard cannot manage.
Have just heard from him, basically the money is to clear debt with high interest so they can wipe the slate clean. His girlfriend is going to pay half the loan off.
I think if you can afford to give him the money, with the understanding that its a loan between you, then do so - if you can afford to not see the money again, and if you would be able to let it go and not be bitter about it if he doesn't pay you back.0
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