My OH is in hospital in intensive care

moomoomama27

I would imagine the school would be very understanding, and let him have at least tomorrow. Phone his student services or whatever he has, and speak to them. The poor lad won't cope at school, he won't focus, and they will realise this, that he's better off with his family, even if that's not at the hospital.

victory

gettingtheresometime wrote: »

One solution may be to let him go tomorrow with understanding that the school will be informed of the situation and if your son decides its all too much for him then they will phone you to arrange for him to be picked up?

The hospital is an hour away so we would be there and if DS changed his mind, could not cope and had to leave school he would come back to an empty house which would be even worse for him, we shall see, we are all going today, today is the what we need to get on with, we will be having lunch here and setting off straight after, I know his mum is beside herself and needs to get to the hospital asap

Faerie

Victory, I'm speaking from a nurse's point of view here. Bring a small bag (small enough to fit in a locker) bring a toothbrush, toothpaste, lipbalm (his lips will be dry from the oxygen) roll on deodrant, showergel, maybe a small mirror, I'd bring his pjs as although they may not be used straightaway, we like to get people out of bed as soon as we can and it's always nice to have your own clothes rather than showing your bum off in those gowns Does he shave? Hospital razors are lethal, so bring his own in. I know he might not need these things straight away but they are very handy to have by his bed. Slippers for when he's up and out of bed.

Take a notepad and pen so you can write things down and jot any questions you have. Bring headphones if the hospital don't supply them as when he's feeling better he might want to listen to the radio (usually free) watch tv/play on tablet, or even to drown the noise out a bit at night.

Another thing is ask the security office whether they do a frequent visitor pass. Hospitals usually do but it's not that well known. If you are visiting someone everyday they sometimes offer you a discount on parking.

Sounds like he had a stable night so hopefully he's on the up now. Hope you all manage to sleep, look after yourself too.

thorsoak

Victory sweetheart - sending you and your boys big {{hugs}} - and of course prayers for you, your OH, your boys and OH's mum & dad.

Your boys are really doing so well - as are you - it is a horrendous situation for you all, and the doctors and nurses will be doing the best for your OH and the family. As has been suggested - talk to the nursing staff, you can probably get an extended parking ticket for the time OH is in ITU at least.

Christmas is two weeks away - you don't have to worry about this at the moment - take things one step at a time - just concentrate on the NOW - and leave everything to take care of itself. You are doing so well holding it all together, but you have to take care of yourself first and foremost - you need to be on top form to be able to take care of the others in the family.

Someone else asked where abouts in the country you are - and which hospital OH is in. For what it's worth, I'm in north essex and near enough to Colchester General or Broomfields Hospital at Chelmsford if he is in either of these hospitals - send me a PM if I can help.

What about your family - are they close enough to be able to help take some of the strain? Sending you love and healing thoughts to you all xxxx

CH27

Sending you big hugs & lots of strength Victory.

Ask if they do a frequent visitor pass for the carpark. Saves a fortune.

Take bottled water for yourself & some sweets to suck.
Costa & other hospital shops are very expensive if you're there a lot.

If you're near Liverpool PM me.

Errata

I think for someone who believes they're not the practical one you are doing amazingly well in getting everything organised.
Perhaps tomorrow is the time for you to have a chat with the ICU nurses about what you should take in for him. His injuries and the treatment he will need there, there may be nothing for you to take in for a while that can be useful, but the nurses are best placed to decide what and when.
Your sons sound very good lads to each other and the eldest is doing practical stuff where he can. Just now, things may be eased if you can all take it one day at a time.

duchy

You are doing fine.

No one holds it all together totally at a time like this (I'm another one speaking from personal experience). You are doing exactly what you need and should be doing. You have organized everything essential and are spending your time where it needs to be spent- with your husband and your sons.

If anyone wants to sit with your husband but is afraid they are saying the wrong thing -- get a newspaper from the hospital shop and get them to read to him if they feel they can't talk or don't want to repeat -it's the familiar voices not so much the words that are so important. When my Mum was in ICU and we were waiting for her to come out of a coma I talked about the most rubbish stuff as well as read the paper- but it didn't matter -it was all communication.

I have a feeling you are in the Midlands so there's nothing practical helpwise I can offer (I'm the other side of the river to thorsoak) so all I can offer is a virtual hug and the advice to try and stop thinkig too far ahead -take things day or even hour at a time - and don't worry about anything that you "should" be doing -everything can wait for now whilst you focus on your husband and your family.

If neighbours or friends ask if there is anything they can do - don't be afraid to send them to the supermarket , ask for a lift etc if needed. People often want to help but don't offer something specific for fear of intruding.

Hang on in there Sweetie <hug>

System

No advice, I haven't been in your position myself but I just wanted to add my voice to the support you've already been given.

Thinking of you and the family and healing vibes of course to your OH.

victory

Hive of activity here now, all up, kids , friends, the hospital says we need to work on a 2 hour basis for the internal bleeding so that is what we will do, neighbour offered a shop but said not at the moment because can't even think what we need but thanks, thanks you everyone it is very much appreciated

whitewing

My thoughts are with you and yours victory.

That's a good idea about the newspaper reading. I shall remember that one for future hospital visits.