My OH is in hospital in intensive care

katsu

Good luck to you all.

I found friends helpful when my DH was unexpectedly in hospital . Let them help with housework or freezer cooking etc and have them help look after you.

I was exhausted and quite a mess so they were very helpful.

Jagraf

When my daughter was little she was in hospital, very ill for a while. I only live about 5 miss from the hospital, pass it every day to work.

I came from her beside to go home to get a shower. I drove and got completely lost. I had to phone a neighbour to come and fetch me.

Sometimes focussing on the simple things that are routine are a good thing as they keep you on track. Ensuring your lovely kids have something to eat, making sure you have a shower and feel fresh. These things helped me.

People really don't know what to say. Sometimes they react with too much sympathy, some you think are cold. But generally people are good and are trying to do the right thing in their own way.

You don't have to be religious to find some comfort in the peace and quiet of places, or the hustle and bustle of 'normal' life.

You will get through this xxx

Mint1955

Ask those willing friends to do easy meals in whatever portion sizes will work best so there is always a meal to be done easily from the freezer. Or bake small cakes if cookies etc

Ask a willing friend or neighbour to wash and dry etc your bedding or towels(if you know them very well just ask them to do clothes as well)

Give someone the job of making sure sinks and loos are kept up to date as days may go by and it's easy to forget when last done.

Hugs to you all take things one day at a time and say no sometimes and just spend time alone resting so you can then re group and plan.

Xxx

victory

The neighbour has just come round and offered to go for a shop but foggy brain can't think so said thank you maybe later, no clue what we need and if it is important anyway.

in laws struggling today but going today. Lots of what if conversations which I do not want to be part of.

The house and cooking and shopping is the least of my worries, can't get bothered about all that.

Did ring the school though as youngest has lost an item of school clothing and asked if they could take charge and replace and send me the bill, keeping it as close to real as possible, the house is a state so is everyone,washing machine on now, should batch cook but nan likes to do it day by day, no one really ate yesterday.

Let's see what happens this afternoon when we see him

torbrex

Sounds daft but routine is good, it helps concentrate your mind.

mum2one

Hope everything goes ok this afternoon, it sounds daft but it might be worth asking for an appointment so you get a picture of what the state of play is, I can only guess there different consultants working on hubby.

You all need to eat, if your ill everything goes to pot,

I know the inlaws like to cook day by day but there going home soon, I would look at getting some meals put by.

As for shopping can someone else in the house write a list, take some pressure of you? I don't know if you could do an Internet shop to save having to go round the supermarket,

Sorry to be thick, you say there having the what if conversation is that the inlaws, ur sons, the hospital. I know it's a route no one likes to go down, but I think they (if it inlaws) maybe it's a coping mechanism, .

You say you've got admin day, I'm guessing your getting sorted a few thoughts
Bank - ring them incase there's a chance you go overdrawn so you won't get charges
Loans / credit cards - if hubby has any have you checked whether you have payment protection insurance - if hubby name only - ring to let them know incase ur late with a payment they know the score
Work - get sick note from hospital, need to check what sick pay arrangements are in place
Elec / gas - are this prepay/ direct debit / pay when Bill comes - you don't want no elec as you forgot to top up
Insurance - need to check whether hubby has an accident / health policy with work or personal one
Food - even if you have to get some ready meals in stock

Most of all please try to get some rest xxxx

Mint1955

Routine will be good for the boys. Whilst it's all far from your mind you do need to eat sleep and try and keep things normal for them and you. From this you will keep your strength which you will need in droves going forward xxx

Keep a pad in the kitchen so you can jot down shopping as and when you run out etc.

Let others do the dross jobs if they are all so keen to help so you can spend time with OH and boys and rest when you can. Sadly everything backing up will only make you more stressed as time goes on.

Do I sound nagging probably yes but believe me I have been through similar and the leading of parallel lives re home and hospital collided spectacularly which was not good and with hindsight and allowing people to take over stuff it could have been so much easier on everyone.

Georgiegirl256

Thanks for the updates victory. Like many others, I keep on checking back on this thread and am thinking of you all. :hug: x

I don't know if anyone has already mentioned this, but regarding food, do you have a slow cooker? If so, you can quickly put a meal on in the morning and then it's waiting for you when you get back from the hospital, no having to start when you get back.

Also, do you do internet food shopping? If you get a chance to sit down and think straight of a night, an order can quickly and easily be processed and a lot of the times be delivered next day or at a time of your choosing. Takes the stress out of having to go to the supermarket or to think what you need when a neighbour asks.

Also, like someone mentioned above, make lists. As and when you think of something, add it to the list. I know personally I'd be lost without my shopping lists!

Here's hoping they have more news for you when you go to the hospital today.

Jagraf

Is there a friend you can go,to for a cuppa? Or a neighbour. Just ring one and tell them you are going round. I found it good to be in someone else's hands for an hour xx

harrys_nan

victory wrote: »

Today is a new day and we will be off back to the hospital, we all have to do some admin today, sort some practical things out, today is going to be good news day, I can feel it.

That's the spirit my girl, keep those positive thoughts going.
I really wish i lived by you to to try and help in any way I could as it is all I can do is keep you in my thoughts and wish your hubby a speedy recovery,
(((Hugs))) for all of you