Teenager help needed

Person_one

merlin68 wrote: »

I have no idea. everybody used to say what a lovely girl she was she used to do all sorts round the house work hard then met him.

A lot of teenage girls go through something like this with an unsuitable boyfriend, I know I did, but she's a bit old for it and the timing couldn't be worse!

She has zero chance of becoming a nurse if she carries on like this, how much does she really want to achieve that goal?

Kitty777

I think you need a BIG clamp down on it, and just brace the fall out. I would never of spoken to my parents like that - and trust me we had some big rows! I moved out at 15 for a few weeks because my mum wouldn't let a boyfriend come round (he was filth). Best thing she ever did for me (I am now 23) couldn't see it at the time though.

Also, where is her Dad? I know you may not be together but she has two parents and you both need to tackle her attitude.

merlin68

I always say no and he gives in and says yes. For an easy life, when she rang tonight for a lift home I answered the phone she wouldn't speak to me cos she knew I would say no. so when he came back with her she accused me of not caring that she was ill. so I said how can you be ill if you have been out all day and roll in at 6 30. what happened to getting the bus well she can walk round town but not get the bus because shes ill.

Kitty777

She is 19 and acting like a 13 year old teenager.
Just put your foot down, all I can say.

meritaten

merlin68 wrote: »

Its not worth the grief not letting him stay at all. That's why I comprised, but she cant see that. Its very hard to sleep when there awake all night I got up the other night and tv was blaring at half 2 and dossing round the house all day not doing anything, means you cant get anything done.

No, that isn't on at all.
FGS - she isn't a child, she is an adult and slamming her door and crying like a baby........................that is hardly 'mature' behaviour.

Sit her down and explain adult life.

that owning your house makes you the boss - her turn will come when (if) she ever owns her own home.
that as you have to get sleep - then the tv blaring at 2.00am and depriving YOU of sleep makes you cranky.
That if she cant get up on time for college when bf stays over and them dossing about all day disrupts YOUR routine - then it isn't unreasonable to not let bf stay over.
and she will NOT get to uni by having 'duvet days with BF'.
she is welcome to make alternative arrangements.:)

thorsoak

merlin68 wrote: »

I've always given her the child benefit which will stop when she finishes.

Why on earth did you hand it over to her? That's where you startrf to go wrong! She will never learn the toughest lesson in life - NILIF {Nothing in life is free) whilst you pander to her wants.

Time to start the Tough Love treatment!

Errata

Is she smoking anything 'interesting' because she sounds like she's in cloud cuckoo land.

securityguy

merlin68 wrote: »

I've always given her the child benefit which will stop when she finishes.

It must be nice being rich enough to do that.

meritaten

securityguy wrote: »

It must be nice being rich enough to do that.

I did that with my eldest when she hit fourteen - and we certainly are NOT rich. I just viewed it as money for the child - who could then decide how to spend it. and DD spent it wisely. on makeup, clothes, nail varnish etc! but at least it wasn't 'my' money!

merlin68

im not rich lol im on income support and just had to go bankrupt the child benefit is meant to cover her transport to college.