What to do if CM constantly complains about 'grumpy' 18 month old?

Gottodothis

I am in the fortunate position to look after my own child. I take her to nursery where I have witnessed the most awful care from a group of child-minders.


I have seen them screaming at the children. Carrying them in and out of cars by their arms. Leaving them in cars unattended while they take the others into nursery and allowing them to walk up the street without holding a hand. They were stood outside chatting and didn't realise a two year old had wandered off. I had him by the hand and was walking him back before they realised he had gone. These children are two and three year olds.


I was horrified to witness this. I called the police when the child was left in the car.


I think if you have any doubt in your mind change child-minders it just isn't worth the risk.

Carmina-Piranha_2

I didn't use childcare, but I took my child to a lot of groups and I liked all of the childminders I met. They're not all like the one in the OP, OP.

jp1964

I wholeheartedly agree that this CM is totally unprofessional and that the OP should remove their child from her care.

I am a parent and also an ex CM of some 8 years, so I can see this from both angles.

This woman's behaviour around children is completely and totally inappropriate, damaging to childrens' self esteem, and unprofessional, if it was not bad enough to be labelling children as 'drama queens' and 'princesses' for exhibiting perfectly normal behaviour, which she ought to be able to manage, and in fact is trained and paid to manage, continual complaining about the OP's child is just not on, if there is a behavioural issue (and it sounds like there isn't to be honest) it needs to be discussed properly, not a continual litany of moaning.

It is also completely wrong and against confidentiality (she needs to have a written policy on this BTW) to be discussing other children in her care with anyone else, unless there is good reason, for example, if another child had hit the OP's child it would be necessary to inform the parents.

It does sound as though this CM has built up a good reputation over many years, probably rightly, but has become jaded and just wants an easy life rather than having to manage children,she may have all the training and policies in place, and be able to say all the right things to get a good OFSTED report but that is only half the story. If your child is subdued and clearly not enthusiastic about going to her, how does she treat children when the parents are not there, I wonder?

Please don't think that all CMs are like this, I was a founder member for a local childminding support group, and most of the members there were truly dedicated and caring to all the children in their care, and did go not just the extra mile, but several, in making sure that the children were stimulated, cared for and felt safe, settled and happy.

I myself had one little girl in my care, who I cared for as a baby when Mum went back to work, she went through a phase of being extremely clingy with me and her parents, would not be put down without literally screaming the place down, we persevered together, and myself and the parents all sat down and made an action plan which we all stuck to, the result was wonderful and the little girl soon became so much happier and settled, I still see her occasionally, she is now ten, and I can be assured of a massive hug when I do!

Only on one occasion did I have to give notice to a family when the child's behaviour was affecting other children in my care as well as my own family, and that was only when all other options had been tried, it clearly was not working.

My advice is to see a few childminders, and regardless of recommendations, although these can be helpful, be guided by your own instincts, and how your child reacts to the CM, allowing of course for initial shyness and settling in. I used to offer a trial period, and I know most others in this area do, so you can see how things go.

Best of luck with this, do let us know how you get on.

TBeckett100

we viewed two nurseries and we rejected them

1) we witnessed a young employee changing a baby's nappy and saying to the baby "aren't you stinky".

2) another nursery, the young girl kept saying "sort of fing" after every sentence. I swear I didn't want my daughter learning such poor phrases

3) the third one we went with was OK but for some reason my daughter hated going there. They would have a change around of staff and one day they had an 18 year old boy there working, which was a little odd.

Managed to find an excellent pre-school though which slipped our daughter into the out of catchment school. The local primary school has mothers turning up in jim-jams and they drive battered cars. I much prefer the school 3 miles away. Lots of range rovers, mums in gym gear and a more civilised peer group.

Jagraf

TBeckett100 wrote: »

we viewed two nurseries and we rejected them

1) we witnessed a young employee changing a baby's nappy and saying to the baby "aren't you stinky".

2) another nursery, the young girl kept saying "sort of fing" after every sentence. I swear I didn't want my daughter learning such poor phrases

3) the third one we went with was OK but for some reason my daughter hated going there. They would have a change around of staff and one day they had an 18 year old boy there working, which was a little odd.

Managed to find an excellent pre-school though which slipped our daughter into the out of catchment school. The local primary school has mothers turning up in jim-jams and they drive battered cars. I much prefer the school 3 miles away. Lots of range rovers, mums in gym gear and a more civilised peer group.

:rotfl::rotfl: mums in gym gear turning up in range rovers more civilised ? Have you ever listened to the school gate conversations? The good old days of my Old clio, bless her, bottom fell out of it on the school car park. However, I was in a suit.

Carmina-Piranha_2

Why shouldn't an 18 year old boy work in childcare? It's not just women's work!

AlwaysAllie

I have no children but saw this thread and then this blog

http://missnightmutters.com/2014/11/dear-parent-about-that-kid.html

AA

Mrshaworth2b

TBeckett100 wrote: »

we viewed two nurseries and we rejected them

1) we witnessed a young employee changing a baby's nappy and saying to the baby "aren't you stinky".

2) another nursery, the young girl kept saying "sort of fing" after every sentence. I swear I didn't want my daughter learning such poor phrases

3) the third one we went with was OK but for some reason my daughter hated going there. They would have a change around of staff and one day they had an 18 year old boy there working, which was a little odd.

Managed to find an excellent pre-school though which slipped our daughter into the out of catchment school. The local primary school has mothers turning up in jim-jams and they drive battered cars. I much prefer the school 3 miles away. Lots of range rovers, mums in gym gear and a more civilised peer group.

1. Aren't you stinky? I don't get what is offensive about this
2. Would you have been bothered if a female worker was only 18? 18 is generally a college leavers age.... so he was most probably getting his work experience after his education, like most other 18 year olds.
3. Ladies in range rovers and gym gear = more civilised, wow what a snooty comment.

notanewuser

TBeckett100 wrote: »

we viewed two nurseries and we rejected them

1) we witnessed a young employee changing a baby's nappy and saying to the baby "aren't you stinky".

2) another nursery, the young girl kept saying "sort of fing" after every sentence. I swear I didn't want my daughter learning such poor phrases

3) the third one we went with was OK but for some reason my daughter hated going there. They would have a change around of staff and one day they had an 18 year old boy there working, which was a little odd.

Managed to find an excellent pre-school though which slipped our daughter into the out of catchment school. The local primary school has mothers turning up in jim-jams and they drive battered cars. I much prefer the school 3 miles away. Lots of range rovers, mums in gym gear and a more civilised peer group.

I know that your posts are pure fiction, but it's not in the slightest bit "odd" to have an 18 year old boy working in childcare. It should be actively encouraged!

TBeckett100

1) calling a baby stinky is disrespectful. If a parent says it in a loving and teasing way then it's ok. I don't pay staff to disrespect my child. It's wholly unprofessional

2) mums who take their kids to school in their PJs probably return home to watch Jeremy Kyle, slobbing on their off white 'leather look' SCS sofas and gaudy carpets. The same time that are in and out of each other's houses all day having coffee mornings and living the life of the Take a Break magazine

and yes the Gym gear gang are more civilised. The dogs that are tied near to the school gate are pedigree hunting dogs, not Staffordshire bull terriers. Definitely more civilised. More peasant hunting than pheasant.

My posts aren't entirely fiction, dramatised for effect maybe.