What to do if CM constantly complains about 'grumpy' 18 month old?

PlutoinCapricorn

Turtle wrote: »

Me too, I don't have children but your post made me feel really uncomfortable.

I have not got any either, but I feel the same way. Dealing with small children is part of the job description; you would expect someone in that position to be an expert at understanding them. It may be that she is slipping, or perhaps she has always been able to cast a smokescreen over her activities - Jimmy Savile is an extreme example of this.

It is interesting to see how many people mention trusting their intuition: I do this a lot in other areas. A very chilling story comes to mind: it was about someone who felt uncomfortable when meeting a newchildminder: the women seemed a bit dishevelled. However, as she was registered and recommended, the parent left her little son there. He died. If only she had trusted her intuition...

cr1mson

Just wanted to add to the voices saying remove her from the CM. I am a great believer that children's emotions feed off the adults who are around them therefore if your CM is negative so your child will be. I have worked with children in a nursery setting and would never dream of talking about a child in that way and certainly would not discuss another child with another parent. Totally unprofessional.

olgadapolga

Your daughter sounds normal from your description - my DD is 22 months old and is clingy/shy of those she doesn't know.

Your CM on the other hand sounds odd. I think that she has made wholly inappropriate comments about your DD and other children - I would have to ask myself what she is saying to other people about your DD?

I would not be happy to leave my child in her care, that's for sure. My child would not be going back to the CM, especially as you said that "DD is usually very happy and full of beans in the morning before we arrive. However although she goes to the CM willingly she is quite subdued and doesn't show any kind of emotion when I hand her over." That, to me, speaks volumes. That's just wrong and I think that you know it. You know what to do. Don't leave your DD's emotional welfare at any further risk.

carefullycautious

GetOut wrote: »

Wow, this is awful! Run a mile. It's emotional abuse and could be very scarring for your child.

I took my DS to a childminder for a few months at half terms. She told DS to walk two flights downstairs to a bathroom by himself in a museum where there were loads of people because she couldn't be bothered getting into a lift cause she had a pram. He was 5. Found out from DS a few weeks later, called CM and told her we'll never use her services again and was advised by solicitor to not pay her a penny notice since she failed her obligation - to keep my son safe. She had a cheek to email me an invoice but it of course got ignored and she never contacted again.

I called OFSTED and she got a formal warning from them that she'll have to show to all future clients by law.

CMs cannot always be trusted so please be careful and look for a new one asap. My DS has never been to one since.

:eek: As a mother and grandmother that is horrifying

carefullycautious

Your child should be happy to go off with the CM not subdued. I would go with my gut instinct.

GetOut

carefullycautious wrote: »

:eek: As a mother and grandmother that is horrifying

When I found out I the angriest I have ever been in my life but also very scared realising that I was sitting at work none the wiser to the fact that my son was in a very real danger of kidnapping or molesting, especially as he went to the men's bathroom.
I felt sick to my stomach and just gobsmacked that anyone would think it ok to let a little one go away on his own.

I have lost all faith in childcare in general as you can find from one of my threads.
Every parent need to realise that nobody else will ever care for your child like you do so do as much childcare yourself as possible. Because you never know what's going on when you leave them.

I'm now so very careful and my DS only goes to one half term club that I can see he's safe in.
Plus it does get easier as they get older as he's now almost 7 and tells me everything and knows right from wrong.

That accident still sends chills down my spine

pickledonionspaceraider

Am glad you have decided to swap childminders OP, this childminder sounds awful

She sounds completely ill equipped to deal with children, at all

notanewuser

GetOut wrote: »

When I found out I the angriest I have ever been in my life but also very scared realising that I was sitting at work none the wiser to the fact that my son was in a very real danger of kidnapping or molesting, especially as he went to the men's bathroom.
I felt sick to my stomach and just gobsmacked that anyone would think it ok to let a little one go away on his own.

You do know that the odds of that happening are several million to one, don't you?

GetOut

notanewuser wrote: »

You do know that the odds of that happening are several million to one, don't you?

Several in a million, as per your surely informed comment, would be several too many for any parent

PlutoinCapricorn

GetOut said "I have lost all faith in childcare in general as you can find from one of my threads.
Every parent need to realise that nobody else will ever care for your child like you do so do as much childcare yourself as possible. Because you never know what's going on when you leave them."

As a non-parent admittedly, I feel the same way - except that I never had much faith in the first place. However, it seems that some carers are much better than others.