What to do if CM constantly complains about 'grumpy' 18 month old?

*max*

I'm not one for being melodramatic about that kind of thing, but I would find another childminder! Her comments about your daughter are completely inappropriate. This is a 16 month old baby, what does she expect, constant compliance and zero noise? She sounds like a witch and I wouldn't want to have her look after my child.

*max*

TBeckett100 wrote: »

Sack the CM. You are paying her to be professional. Drip drip negativity will do more harm to your child than good. What is she saying to the child when you aren't there?

Oh, and this!

Lily-Rose_3

Yes I would look for a new childminder for sure.

She sounds very unprofessional.

FatVonD

I agree with the others saying find alternative childcare.

I have seen some rotten childminders in my time, (one of them a friend), no harm came to kid but the favouritism of another child in her care was disgusting (the favoured little girl would eat a lovely packed lunch provided by her parents admittedly and the unfavoured little boy would be given a couple of jam sandwiches she would tell me in front of him that she didn't like him. I wish I had reported her.

Another I used to see at a toddler group would plonk the kid on floor and spend the entire 2 hours talking to her mates, she didn't even take her to the table when it was the Christmas party.

There must be some good childminders but I think there are way too many who see it as an easy way to make money without having to go out to work. At least with a nursery the people providing the care have chosen that role as a vocation.

climbthatwallseegar

Thank you all for your replies. I think I have to follow my gut instinct, I have been second guessing myself as DD is my first and I was really not sure if I was just being over sensitive (I can be sensitive to criticism and I have started to feel as if the CM's comments are a attack on my parenting) but ultimately I need to remove her and the replies here have reinforced that. The relentless negativity is draining and I do not think DD is happy.

I really dread to think what she tells other parents about DD! When she spoke to me about one of her other mindees she complained that the child had a speech delay and and it was so tiring trying to understand her etc. Very unprofessional. Maybe she is jaded/fed up with small kids now as that child is only 2 years old so getting frustrated with her speech is not a good sign and does not bode well for DD as she gets older.

I have already spoken to my HV (didn't mention the CM's comments) and she said DD's behaviour and development is entirely normal and she had no concerns which was a big relief.

jetplane

This woman is so unprofessional you really don't need that negativity in your daughters life. Find a good nursery. Not all childminders are good, who recommended her? She has made a lot of money from looking after children and fostering, don't allow her to waste any more of yours.

The boy who couldn't settle because your daughter screamed, is he also a drama queen? Because two childminders who can't settle two children between them sound pretty useless to me.

millysg1

The big Pro about Childminders over Nurseries is that you get to choose the person that cares for your child, not just the setting, which is how I see nurseries.

If your not happy with the person and the way she is treating you child then I also say change CMs.

patchwork_cat

So many alarm bells ringing at this - change child minder immediately. She hasn't got a clue, is more concerned about her own reputation and life and is going to undermine your child's confidence big time. TBH I think I would be going one further than recommended here, is she still fostering, because if so I think I would be contacting social services about her.

sanfrancisco

You are totally right about this. The way this woman speaks about your daughter is horrible. She sounds like she just doesn't like her. Don't doubt yourself. Find another cm.

The story about your daughter crying at the lay group really annoyed me. Your cm was so over the top! And so was the other cm. has this woman really looked after so many children?

climbthatwallseegar

Thanks. That was my initial reason for wanting a CM rather than a nursery which as you say is more of a setting. The CM was recommended by several people including my neighbour, was on the council's list of minders. She is a kind of leading figures amongst childminders in the area, her 2 daugthers are both CMs, she runs training classes etc and heads the network of childminders in the area. We did a month of 'settling in' whereby I left DD with her for increasing lenghts of time (from 30 mins to a couple of hours) twice a week and then gradually moved up slowly to longer days. There were tears etc but she assured me at the time all was fine and that was to be expected. I felt like I took all the right steps to ensure DD was with someone appropriate but looking back we didn't really see a wide enough range of different carers, we selected this CM quite quickly on the basis of so many recommendations.

This morning I asked her outright if she thought there was a problem with DD (felt emboldened after reading all the responses here yesterday!). She looked perplexed and said "DD is one of the easiest children I have looked after in some ways but she is very clingy. She has these outbursts and difficult moments. Yesterday she had a moment of hysteria but there were no tears so it was just a fit of temper. Did you know she has a bad temper?". I replied that she has tantrums like any other child but I wasn't particularly aware of a temper as such. She then said she has another child starting next week (I know this child's father) and commented "She isn't as cuddly as your DD..god, I hope she isn't going to give me any trouble" so I think she has just had enough of childminding in general as there are complaints about every child she looks after. Plus DD suddenly went from 'clingy' to 'cuddly' in one sentence, what is that about.

We are at home and I am now looking into a nanny / nanny share which is going to be more expensive but I'd rather be poorer and know that DD is completely happy!! I wish we could afford to reduce my hours further at work but we are already taking a massive hit by going down to 4 days:((