Do you tell your OH everything?

Buzzybee90

I don't really think the relationship with a partner can be compared with parent/best friend. It's just not the same at all. I wouldn't discuss anything very personal with either of them and I hate it when my friends do, I find it very very uncomfortable.

onlyroz

peachyprice wrote: »

Anything fun or anything needs organising, i'm your girl! But i'd rather they share their troubles with a different friend. It doesn't make me less of a friend though.

If you're happy to be thought of as a "fair weather friend" then great. However, I hope you never find yourself needing a shoulder to cry on - because you might find that your friends are less than sympathetic.

peachyprice

onlyroz wrote: »

If you're happy to be thought of as a "fair weather friend" then great. However, I hope you never find yourself needing a shoulder to cry on - because you might find that your friends are less than sympathetic.

Oh for goodness sake, stop judging the kind of friend I am just because I'm not like you.

And if you'd bothered to read my post, I don't cry on other people's shoulders, never have, never will, I'm capable of dealing with my own problems in my own way.

Mojisola

maman wrote: »

Unless I've read this wrongly you're saying 'I know a secret but I can't tell you'.

Yes, you are.

I would be saying 'I might be behaving a bit differently but there's nothing wrong between us' - that would be the important bit for me.

I'd probably add something like `'I've been told something and asked not to tell anyone, even you, so I'm trying to respect that but it means I'm having to watch what I say and I don't want you to get concerned'.

jackieblack

supersaver2 wrote: »

There is a a world of difference to telling your husband, whom you trust, which is being discussed here or 'tittle tattle it back to your OH and anyone else who will listen.'

But if you've been asked not to tell your OH, as the OP had, then the fact that you trust your OH is irrelevant. The friend has asked you not to tell them and, if you do, then you are betraying their trust and breaking a confidence.

supersaver2

jackieblack wrote: »

But if you've been asked not to tell your OH, as the OP had, then the fact that you trust your OH is irrelevant. The friend has asked you not to tell them and, if you do, then you are betraying their trust and breaking a confidence.

That wasn't the point I was making, clearly telling your husband is entirely different to telling 'anyone that will listen.' I never actually said whether I personally would tell my wife or not.

DigForVictory

Tell my OH Everything? Dear Gods, No.

In part as I value (some) of my mental privacy.
In part as some of what I do includes the Official Secrets Act.
In part as some of what I do includes safeguarding.

But above all as I only see him awake for a few hours each day & there isn't time to braindump.

Also, how I feel about that nice Mr.Cumberbatch getting married is none of his business.

Anyone asking me to keep a secret from him had better have a Darn Good Reason though.

foxymum1977_2

I tell my husband everything even if he's not interested haha
The friend would never know you've told him anyway,

jackieblack

supersaver2 wrote: »

clearly telling your husband is entirely different to telling 'anyone that will listen.'

No it isn't, telling anyone, when you've specifically been asked not to, is betraying a trust, it doesn't matter whether it's your OH, another friend, the dog, a complete stranger on a bus, anyone!

supersaver2 wrote: »

I never actually said whether I personally would tell my wife or not.

Accepted, I'm just using 'you' in a generic sense ('one' is a bit 'UOOB')

lostinrates

DigForVictory wrote: »

Tell my OH Everything? Dear Gods, No.

In part as I value (some) of my mental privacy.
In part as some of what I do includes the Official Secrets Act.
In part as some of what I do includes safeguarding.

But above all as I only see him awake for a few hours each day & there isn't time to braindump.

Also, how I feel about that nice Mr.Cumberbatch getting married is none of his business.

Anyone asking me to keep a secret from him had better have a Darn Good Reason though.

I see and agree with this. My husband is bound by confidentiality for his work and is not allowed to choose /buy shares or investments. Incidentally NEITHER am I allowed to by nature of his work. I guess its accepted I will be a venting point or likey to overhear or see something at some point. Dunno.