Do you tell your OH everything?

thx1138

maman wrote: »

_pale_


Sounds like you left your own identity at the church door when you married.


Have you never thought of not telling your wife something to, say, protect her from worry?


I didn't realise such a simple, black and white world existed any more.

It doesn't. I am differentiating between loyalty to someone else and loyalty to my wife. There is no contest. You read more into than is there.

As to the notion that I 'Left my identity at the church door,' apart from the fact that it was a civil service and church played no role, the notion that I am weak is laughable. But I'll let you off because you don't know me.

Person_one

thx1138 wrote: »

It doesn't. I am differentiating between loyalty to someone else and loyalty to my wife. There is no contest. You read more into than is there.

As to the notion that I 'Left my identity at the church door,' apart from the fact that it was a civil service and church played no role, the notion that I am weak is laughable. But I'll let you off because you don't know me.

But you said it...you are 'one person', doesn't that mean you left your old identity behind to merge? Or at least half of it anyway. :rotfl:

Torry_Quine

jaylee3 wrote: »

I've heard if all now. :rotfl:

As someone said earlier in the thread, if your friend entrusts you with a secret, and you keep it to yourself, you are NOT keeping any secret from your husband or wife, because it is NOT your secret.

If your friend decides to tell you about a very personal issue (about his private parts for example,) why do you have to tell it to your wife? What the heck does it have to do with her?!

All sounds a bit odd to me. Are you scared of her reaction if she finds out you have 'kept a secret' from her? Frankly, I prefer to have a separate identity from my husband, and a few friends who he doesn't know very well, and doesn't socialise with. I don't have to live in my husband's pocket. I am not that insecure and needy.

I have a seperate identity from my husband but wouldn't consider that means what you seem to think. If for instance someone told me about a health issue as your example then I probably wouldn't mention the specifics of it.

Sharing most things with him doesn't make me insecure and needy in any way.!

thx1138 wrote: »

It doesn't. I am differentiating between loyalty to someone else and loyalty to my wife. There is no contest. You read more into than is there.
.

I agree here. My loyalty is to my husband before anyone else, it seems strange to be otherwise.

thx1138

jaylee3 wrote: »

I've heard if all now. :rotfl:

As someone said earlier in the thread, if your friend entrusts you with a secret, and you keep it to yourself, you are NOT keeping any secret from your husband or wife, because it is NOT your secret.

If your friend decides to tell you about a very personal issue (about his private parts for example,) why do you have to tell it to your wife? What the heck does it have to do with her?!

All sounds a bit odd to me. Are you scared of her reaction if she finds out you have 'kept a secret' from her? Frankly, I prefer to have a separate identity from my husband, and a few friends who he doesn't know very well, and doesn't socialise with. I don't have to live in my husband's pocket. I am not that insecure and needy.

Try reading for meaning and content. It's a real time saver.

I'm done explaining. Just re-read what I've already written. Goodbye.

Out,_Vile_Jelly

It's interesting that some people feel very strongly that a relationship means the sharing of every thought, while others are equally firm that this is unnecessary. Hopefully it's clear who's who when it comes to confidential conversations!

I would genuinely think less of my man if he shared with me something that had been told him in confidence. Being a true and loyal friend is an extremely attractive feature and I wouldn't want that diminished just because they were with me.

paddyrg

Husband probably doesn't care about your pregnant/dying/millionaire friends, do him a favour and don't tell him so he doesn't have to feign interest.

Do I tell my OH everything? I'd never get a word in ;-)