Do you tell your OH everything?

blueneleh

Hi,

I just wondered what your views are on whether you tell your OH everything?
More specifically, things that your friends have told you and asked you not to tell anyone else.

I have recently been told some BIG news by my best friend who has asked me not to tell anyone else yet (incl my OH) which I haven't done (and don't intend to as I promised her) but feel really bad at not telling him as we usually tell each other everything. In the past it's always kind of been an unsaid rule with our friends that we tell our OH things.

I just wondered whether you all keep these kind of secrets from your OH too or not?

roobee13

For me it depends on the news, and if he's interested!

For example, if a friend told me she was pregnant and hadn't yet had the scan/told others, I might not tell him as he wouldn't be interested.

On the whole, we also tell each other everything. We've never had a 'I can't believe you didn't tell me' moment yet!!

ETA: there are things my best friend knows about me and vice versa that neither of our OHs know, as there's not really any need (to do with previous relationships etc). I don't see these as secrets.

Faith177

It depends what it is tbh

For example if it was how much his mother had p'd me off yet again then I wouldn't bother as his mother can do no wrong apparently

Anything else I would pretty much tell him we don't have many secrets from each other

tea_lover

There's no way I'd even consider breaking a friend's confidence unless it was a matter of life and death.

comeandgo

My husband does not need to know all the minutiae of my life and I certainly don't want to know his. Keep your secrets as your friend has trusted you to do.

19lottie82

If I told my friend something and asked her not to tell anyone, including her OH, then she did. Well, i'd be mighty peeved, to put it lightly!

peachyprice

It depends what the news is and how close my husband is to the person's circle.

If it was news that would make my OH treat the friend differently and cause him to feel awkward, ie. if she was having an affair, I wouldn't tell him.

If it was good news but he wouldn't ever be in the position where he could let the cat out of the bag, then yes, I would tell him because I'd want to share the excitement with him.

System

Do I tell my hubby everything? No he has got a short fuse and only sees things in black and white. There are no shades of grey in his world and he has opinions about everything and of course, he is always right.... even when he is not.:D

jackieblack

19lottie82 wrote: »

If I told my friend something and asked her not to tell anyone, including her OH, then she did. Well, i'd be mighty peeved, to put it lightly!

I agree, its not your secret to tell

fairy_lights

I do tell my OH most things, he isn't really interested in gossip though so I know the things I tell him aren't going to go any further. It's like talking to a brick wall really.
If a friend specifically asked me to keep something secret I probably wouldn't tell him, there are girly things that he just doesn't need to know.

a_fresh_start

Generally, I would keep a friends secret, especially if they had qualified it with a "don't tell your OH". There must be a reason for it, and I'd respect my friends reasoning.

however, I don't agree with outright lying, and personally couldn't do this to my OH. So I suppose it depends on the secret. If it was a "this goes no further, and nothing will come of it", then I'd keep it. If it was news that would eventually come out, or I had any involvement in (i.e. if a friend was pregnant / ill and I had to go to the doc appointments with her) I would tell my OH as little info as possible to explain my actions without breaking my friends trust and to avoid lying to my OH.

I would have to consider telling my OH if the secrecy impacted on our relationship / my behaviour. Though I reckon my friends would know this, but I'd tell her just in case!