Do you tell your OH everything?

sulphate

Faith177 wrote: »

It depends what it is tbh

For example if it was how much his mother had p'd me off yet again then I wouldn't bother as his mother can do no wrong apparently

Anything else I would pretty much tell him we don't have many secrets from each other

:beer::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

I wouldn't tell my OH anything that he didn't really need to know. There are things people have told me in confidence and have told me not to tell anyone else and I haven't done so.

If circumstances came up where I felt that I needed to tell him to avoid lying then I would reconsider the situation and consult my friend/relative about it first.

peachyprice

onlyroz wrote: »

I'm not sure you should blab a secret with the justification that you trust the person you're blabbing to.

But I don't consider telling my OH as blabbing. Telling other friends, yes, OH no, unless there's good reason not to.

onlyroz

peachyprice wrote: »

But I don't consider telling my OH as blabbing. Telling other friends, yes, OH no, unless there's good reason not to.

How is it different? If I told a friend something personal about myself (say something medical, or some legal difficulty I'd got into, or say some innappropriate crush that I'd developed) I'd be upset if the friend thought that it was fine to relay what I'd said to their partner without a second thought *especially* if I didn't know the partner that well.

Counter

onlyroz wrote: »

How is it different? If I told a friend something personal about myself (say something medical, or some legal difficulty I'd got into, or say some innappropriate crush that I'd developed) I'd be upset if the friend thought that it was fine to relay what I'd said to their partner without a second thought *especially* if I didn't know the partner that well.

I don't consider it to be breaking the secret if I tell something to someone who does not know and is never going to meet the person concerned. As far as the person I am talking to is concerned, what I am saying may as well be hypothetical or completely made up as it relates to a person they do not know exists.

SailorSam

I couldn't keep a secret to save my life.

Mojisola

blueneleh wrote: »

I have recently been told some BIG news by my best friend who has asked me not to tell anyone else yet (incl my OH) which I haven't done (and don't intend to as I promised her) but feel really bad at not telling him as we usually tell each other everything.

If not telling him was worrying me, I'd probably say something like "One of my friends has told me something and asked me to keep it secret even from you. I'm not comfortable not being able to tell you but I'm going to respect her wishes".

Keeping a secret/feeling bad at not telling him could lead to a change in your behaviour which could worry him.

Torry_Quine

Unless someone specifically said not to tell my husband then I would probably tell him. It seems strange to me that I would keep something from him that was obviously so important. Actually I can't think of an occasion when someone has told me not to tell him.

peachyprice

onlyroz wrote: »

How is it different? If I told a friend something personal about myself (say something medical, or some legal difficulty I'd got into, or say some innappropriate crush that I'd developed) I'd be upset if the friend thought that it was fine to relay what I'd said to their partner without a second thought *especially* if I didn't know the partner that well.

This exactly:

Counter wrote: »

I don't consider it to be breaking the secret if I tell something to someone who does not know and is never going to meet the person concerned. As far as the person I am talking to is concerned, what I am saying may as well be hypothetical or completely made up as it relates to a person they do not know exists.

And like I said earlier, my friends are not OH's friends, they're pretty much anonymous to him.

TBH, I think it's pretty juvenile to be upset about someone telling your secret to someone you don't know, who doesn't know anyone you know and who has no-one else to tell. If it's that much of a secret you don't tell anyone in the first place.

There are plenty of people on here who have posted secrets their friends have told them, I don't ever recall anyone replying telling them they shouldn't be posting about it because it's a secret for them and them alone to know. Telling an OH who has no connection to the social circle isn't any different.

ciderwithrosie_2

Growing up as an 'outsider' in a small village you learnt quickly not to spread gossip or divulge secrets as everyone was pretty much related somewhere along the line. Confidentiality is key to my work now too. So no, I don't discuss much with my OH unless it directly affects him. Plus, he's quite loud and will talk about people we know in public and I'm cringing thinking I hope know one in earshot knows who he's talking about!

Buzzybee90

I'm not really one for secrets, I told tell them or get told them very often.

It would depend though, if it was something personal/medical and there was no need for him to know then I would keep it of course, if it was for example "mutual friend A is cheating on wife with mutual friend B as told by mutual friend C" then I would definitely tell him.