Do you tell your OH everything?

tattycath

If I've been told something 'in confidence' it usually stays that way coz my OH can be like gob almighty unless you actually spell it out to him that he should not say anything, and even then I would be worried that he might open his trap-less hassle all round if I don't tell him.

onlyroz

peachyprice wrote: »

TBH, I think it's pretty juvenile to be upset about someone telling your secret to someone you don't know, who doesn't know anyone you know and who has no-one else to tell. If it's that much of a secret you don't tell anyone in the first place.

There are plenty of people on here who have posted secrets their friends have told them, I don't ever recall anyone replying telling them they shouldn't be posting about it because it's a secret for them and them alone to know. Telling an OH who has no connection to the social circle isn't any different.

Telling someone a "secret" without giving away any identifying characteristics is one thing. But telling someone "You never guess what my friend Jane has just done" is just gossiping regardless of whether they know who Jane is or not. If you were my friend and I knew that you'd told anybody something that I'd let you know in confidence then I certainly wouldn't tell you a single thing ever again.

And who is to say that your partner will never meet your other friends? I imagine it would certainly colour his judgement about them if you'd spilled all their darkest secrets to him.

Pearlstar

tattycath wrote: »

If I've been told something 'in confidence' it usually stays that way coz my OH can be like gob almighty unless you actually spell it out to him that he should not say anything, and even then I would be worried that he might open his trap-less hassle all round if I don't tell him.

Was about to same much the same and i love this phrasing so just say ditto!

hgotsparkle

I tell him everything - even if its something Ive been told in confidence, as I know he won't blab, and he does the same to me - theres plenty I know about his brother that I shouldn't but I don't tell anyone!

Idiophreak

If someone explicitly tells me not to tell my OH, I won't...unless I'm put in a tricky situation etc.

Otherwise I take it as being implicit that if I'm told, wifey will know it too.

InsideInsurance

I'd argue we are a collective and to tell one is the same as telling the other unless its explicitly said not to tell the other.

There are things I choose not to tell the other half but thats because they are an incredible worrier and things can be out of proportion to them so when something minor is going on that I can resolve myself then I wouldnt share that. Probably not even after its been resolved as they can still panic after the event as to why it happened in the first place etc

catkins

I don't recall ever being in a similar situation but, for me, it would very much depend exactly what the secret was and if it affected my OH in any way. If it didn't then I would keep a secret when specifically asked to do so.


Other than that yes I tell him everything even exactly how much something I have bought cost!

NoGoodNamesLeft

I don't have any secrets from my OH, but someone else might want to. If a friend wanted me to keep their secret from my OH, they need to mention that before they tell me the secret so I can decide whether I'm OK with not telling him - if not, don't tell me!

I also wouldn't keep a secret that might be harmful to him, even if I'd promised before I knew what it was - like if someone confessed they'd stolen from him.

Otherwise I don't think I'd betray a friend's secret if I'd promised to keep it from my OH, but it's never come up.

EmmyLou30

I think it's generally accepted that couples share stuff so I'd only share what I was happy for them to share with their husbands....but if they'd explicitly said 'don't tell your OH' then I wouldn't as she clearly feels the need to make that clear which would be unusual, so I'd respect that. Tbh though I doubt anything I tell him about friends pregnancies or family issues sticks in his head, he generally couldn't care less! He's a bloke ;-)

Jagraf

No I wouldn't. It would be betraying a trust and it will backfire.

Anyway, my husband wouldn't be too interested unless it was to do with football, money, food or beer.

An earlier poster also said they wouldn't talk about their husbands mum either, I ditto that. Unless she had started gong to matches, given him an inheritance, cooked him some food, or bought him a pint.