Giving my husband all my money?

sulphate

willysmum wrote: »

Weve been married for nearly 4 months, we are not equal, afterr work on fridays he will go to the pub, get drunk, laze around all day Saturday with a hangover whilst i look after the children ( one is his from a previous relationship) i am lucky if he takes the bins out once a week let alone anything else, if i ask him for help its 'ive been at work all week"
Before we were married it was more his money and my money, he treats my child like his own and provides for him its just me feeling left out and cant even afford to buy the children Mcdonalds at the end of the month

But so have you - looking after the children and the house.

Perhaps remind him of the childcare costs that he'd have to pay for his child if you weren't around. Around here a full time nursery place costs close to £1k a month.

I agree that his behaviour is essentially financial abuse.

davetrousers

willysmum wrote: »

my husband says i can have his bank card whenever i want

Then he is in breach of the Ts and Cs issued by his bank!

z.n

He needs a right good talking to. It may be that he likes to think he is looking after you and just needs to be set straight. If more than that then the sooner you know where you stand the better frankly.

All income should be joint. You are entitled to a break as well-especially at the weekends. And a trip to the hairdressers or out for a meal with friends occasionally. You are supposed to be an equal partner-not a skivvy. Sorry to be so blunt but you are clearly unhappy and I am hoping calling a spade a spade will give you confidence that you are right to be annoyed. Best wishes.

thorsoak

We had a thread like this recently ....I find it hard to understand how, in the second decade of the 21st century, that there are still men out there who think like this - and women who allow them to think like this!

lovinituk

willysmum wrote: »

The £2400 is after tax

You shouldn't be getting any tax credits on that income. When it comes round to Apr/May next year, you will being asked to repay most/all the tax credits you have received this tax year. So that's roughly £7200 you will owe.

bugslet

willysmum wrote: »

Weve been married for nearly 4 months, we are not equal,

He must have some saving graces, but I'm finding them difficult to establish.


When you get married and have kids together and take on children from a previous relationship, it's all a joint enterprise, it's joint effort, joint income. Currently it seems very one-sided. How do you think things are going to be in the years to come, more of the same?

I couldn't abide it, I'd be gone by now. Sorry.:(

Marisco

willysmum wrote: »

Weve been married for nearly 4 months, we are not equal, afterr work on fridays he will go to the pub, get drunk, laze around all day Saturday with a hangover whilst i look after the children ( one is his from a previous relationship) i am lucky if he takes the bins out once a week let alone anything else, if i ask him for help its 'ive been at work all week"
Before we were married it was more his money and my money, he treats my child like his own and provides for him its just me feeling left out and cant even afford to buy the children Mcdonalds at the end of the month

How old is he? He sounds like a throwback from 50/60 years ago!!

Mojisola

willysmum wrote: »

Weve been married for nearly 4 months, we are not equal, afterr work on fridays he will go to the pub, get drunk, laze around all day Saturday with a hangover whilst i look after the children ( one is his from a previous relationship) i am lucky if he takes the bins out once a week let alone anything else, if i ask him for help its 'ive been at work all week"

Why did you marry him?

borkid

Mojisola wrote: »

Add up all the money coming into the household. Take off what's needed for regular bills, agreed savings for holidays, emergencies, etc, and divide what's left in two - one half is his and one half is yours.

One spouse keeping the other short of money is considered domestic abuse these days.

That's what hubby and I have always done even when I was at home looking after children. When I went back to work he didn't need the money so I kept all my earnings but treated the family and paid university costs for both children and club/ music lessons etc when they were younger.

SailorSam

willysmum wrote: »

and my husband is of the belief that a womans place is at home.

Have you got a Sister ?
I want a woman who'll give me all her money and stay at home by the kitchen sink were she belongs.