How much to let slip for the sake of son having a family

Loz01

Are his friends all his age and not settled down yet? Sounds like he is trying to keep up with his mates with the 7am partying and that is fine if you are a single bloke but not when you're left holding the baby! Imagine if the tables were turned and you went out with friends all night and left him with your LO and then couldn't get up the next day to do anything because you had a raging hangover. Its only when you reserve situations you realise how crazy they are.

Caleb11

Loz01 wrote: »

Are his friends all his age and not settled down yet? Sounds like he is trying to keep up with his mates with the 7am partying and that is fine if you are a single bloke but not when you're left holding the baby! Imagine if the tables were turned and you went out with friends all night and left him with your LO and then couldn't get up the next day to do anything because you had a raging hangover. Its only when you reserve situations you realise how crazy they are.

Yes they are all single. Any with children either don't go or go home at a reasonable time. I never ever nag him to come home of question him on what he's doing. I really do trust that he wouldn't cheat on me so that's really not a problem. But because I don't nag him to come home he stays out like all his other single friends.

the frustrating thing is if I ever explain my views like I have here, he completely agrees, acknowledges where I'm coming from and apologies if he feels he's done wrong. He will then change whatever I don't really like for a few weeks but then revert back to normal or be unhappy and feel restricted and I obviously don't want that as that's when he starts lying etc.

*Robin*

..Sounds like he's got about three years' growing up to do, before he catches up with you, OP.

theoretica

*Robin* wrote: »

..Sounds like he's got about three years' growing up to do, before he catches up with you, OP.

I agree - and he sounds like he is a decent bloke and could be very nice at 28, just how to get there!

Caleb11

He really is a decent person.

He works hard and is faithful and just an overall nice person. All of my family like him and want us to be happy. Although they obviously don't have any clue into our personal thoughts/ disagreements.

My father for example would probably be disgusted in me if I split with him. He sees no reason why I'd want to work when I have a man providing for me. Probably old fashioned or maybe just his way of thinking. But I'd never be happy if I just settled in a relationship becuase the man provided me with a life where I didn't work.

But this is the same man who treats his wife like rubbish and I am shocked she is still around yet provides her with several holidays cars etc every year and lots of family question whether it is this that makes her stay.

Obviously I have been involved in a pretty serious relationship since I was 17. We moved in together after 6 months. I fell pregnant after 2-3 years. We weren't in the best relationship back when I fell pregnant and it's just deteriorated. The only thing that's changed is that we have grown up a bit and from the outside looking in we have the perfect life to some people.

Lets_say

Out of all your posts, 74 bothers me the most. Other posts refer to him wanting receipts and explanations for money spent. I wouldn't expect that from a man who supposedly loved me.

In your shoes, I'd be very concerned that I owned a property with a man I wasn't married to.

Caleb11

I agree but also know how obsessed with money he is for whatever reason- he blames it on his lack of parental support due to their deaths so I don't think it is intentionally malicious on his part.

And although we both have a portion of the deposit, the house is solely in my name. If we were to split we would split any money after I sold it.

Lets_say

Caleb11 wrote: »

so I stayed in our house which we bought together

From everything you've said about his attitude to money, I find it odd that he is happy not to have his name on the deeds?

Caleb11

He has a poor credit rating.

Caleb11

Despite it only being in my name, I don't class it as my house or that I bought it alone. That's why I said "our house" or whatever it was I said previously.