Finding a compromise? Any tips?!

notanewuser

meer53 wrote: »

I'm bored with this now.

OP, you could have cleared both bedrooms in the time you've spent on here arguing the toss about the "options"

Your daughter is 4, she isn't expecting the "perfect day" on her birthday, she's expecting her family and friends to be there. That includes Grandparents. Both sets of.

Just take a step back and re read your posts, this is one huge mountain you've made out of a tiny tiny little molehill.

If you and your DH have some sort of axe to grind, then do it, but do it after your daughters birthday.

I'm out of here. There will be no compromise. Which is a shame.

She isn't expecting any grandparents. Where did you get that from?

It sounds like you think the "compromise" should be everyone else doing what the hell they like and me enabling it.....?

notanewuser

lulu_92 wrote: »

But at the end of the day it's DDs day and she might want them there if offered? Bit selfish to me.

Actually, if I asked her (and I might) she'd probably want all of her cousins there instead (not going to happen).

Besides, I haven't said that they can't be there, just that They probably can't stay here.

It's my birthday too, remember.

barbiedoll

Move LO into your bedroom for a few nights.
Let OH family come down (or not, depending on tradesman), they can camp in LO's bedroom.
Go on day trip as planned.
Don't offer to cook, keep supplies to a minimum, if toilet roll runs out, ask them to go and buy more etc etc. Let OH and family fend for themselves.
Chill.

Sorted!

When_the_going_gets_tough

Op you can't change anyone else. You can decide what you are or are not prepared to do. Sometimes you just have to draw a line in the sand and decide to face the consequences.

notanewuser

barbiedoll wrote: »

Move LO into your bedroom for a few nights.
Let OH family come down (or not, depending on tradesman), they can camp in LO's bedroom.
Go on day trip as planned.
Don't offer to cook, keep supplies to a minimum, if toilet roll runs out, ask them to go and buy more etc etc. Let OH and family fend for themselves.
Chill.

Sorted!

Not sure how I'd get 3 adults and 2 children in 1 single bed, but id certainly do the rest!

thorsoak

notanewuser wrote: »

This is purely a practical issue.

No, it's not - if you liked them, you'd sigh, kick OH up the backside, and you'd move things around. As you don't like them (and you can protest as much as you like, but from all your posts it's patently obvious that you think that they show you and OH as much attention as they would a slug) you are naturally going to raise every objection possible to having them stay - you've got history!.

This quest for a compromise just aint going nowhere!

notanewuser

thorsoak wrote: »

No, it's not - if you liked them, you'd sigh, kick OH up the backside, and you'd move things around. As you don't like them (and you can protest as much as you like, but from all your posts it's patently obvious that you think that they show you and OH as much attention as they would a slug) you are naturally going to raise every objection possible to having them stay - you've got history!.

This quest for a compromise just aint going nowhere!

No, I still wouldn't. It wasn't the plan to have family at DD's tea party. Accommodating them that weekend means sacrificing a lot.

The issue is with DH's inability to see that.

notanewuser

Surely the following are acceptable compromises:

They come but stay at a hotel
They come, and DH does everything necessary to facilitate that
They come a different weekend

???

After all, they've only suggested coming because they're having building work done. It's nothing to do with DD's birthday!!

notanewuser

And let's not forget, they might not even come anyway!!

millysg1

notanewuser wrote: »

Surely the following are acceptable compromises:

They come but stay at a hotel
They come, and DH does everything necessary to facilitate that
They come a different weekend

???

After all, they've only suggested coming because they're having building work done. It's nothing to do with DD's birthday!!

I agree with you OP. Dont just bow down and change all your plans for people who may or may not come and usually make 0 effort for you guys. I dont see why you should change all your plans when your have planned a great few days that you know your DD will love. Its about HERs and YOUR birthday! You two should come first for this weekend. If other people want to tag along then they make the additional arrangements.