Finding a compromise? Any tips?!

notanewuser

CH27 wrote: »

Why don't you just admit that you never want them to darken your door again :rotfl:

I've already said that I'm happy for them to come another weekend. No problem then. The issue is just with that one weekend/month!

CH27

notanewuser wrote: »

I've already said that I'm happy for them to come another weekend. No problem then. The issue is just with that one weekend/month!

Oh come on Nothing is easy with you & your inlaws.

*max*

notanewuser wrote: »

I've already said that I'm happy for them to come another weekend. No problem then. The issue is just with that one weekend/month!

And the fact you really, really don't like them!

moomoomama27

You need to accept they are your husbands family, and it's also your husbands daughter too. He wants his family there that weekend, and so he should, perhaps he wants some memories of his family with you all on a memorable date, whether if not they are unreliable, they are his family.

Surely as adults they can amuse themselves while you host the party? Perhaps rather than a battle they could come with you on a day out, I would imagine your daughter would love as many family members as possible to enjoy a day out?!

This is going to be an issue for a very long time, I think you both need to be nature about ground rules with re: to inviting people. Actually talk beforehand rather than anyone making any decisions before a full conversation. I cannot imagine either me and my husband making any decisions of that nature without first seeking each other's views.

notanewuser

moomoomama27 wrote: »

You need to accept they are your husbands family, and it's also your husbands daughter too. He wants his family there that weekend, and so he should, perhaps he wants some memories of his family with you all on a memorable date, whether if not they are unreliable, they are his family.

Surely as adults they can amuse themselves while you host the party? Perhaps rather than a battle they could come with you on a day out, I would imagine your daughter would love as many family members as possible to enjoy a day out?!

This is going to be an issue for a very long time, I think you both need to be nature about ground rules with re: to inviting people. Actually talk beforehand rather than anyone making any decisions before a full conversation. I cannot imagine either me and my husband making any decisions of that nature without first seeking each other's views.

He hadn't thought about having any of his family there until they suggested it. My family haven't been invited either. It was going to be a simple thing, and that's still what I want. I don't really want to have to take 20 people on a day trip! (We had all of his family there for her 2nd birthday, and it was a nightmare!)

The issue isn't with them anyway - it's with DH arranging something with them without any thought about the practicalities or discussion with me, and then his complete unwillingness to compromise when that turned out to be less than ideal.

notanewuser

*max* wrote: »

And the fact you really, really don't like them!

This is purely a practical issue.

ohreally

gettingtheresometime wrote: »

This is a situation where one of you won't get your own way and has to back down

Then back down, its not so hard - or is this about scoring points?

notanewuser

ohreally wrote: »

Then back down, its not so hard - or is this about scoring points?

Sorry, don't understand. Who should be backing down?

meer53

I'm bored with this now.

OP, you could have cleared both bedrooms in the time you've spent on here arguing the toss about the "options"

Your daughter is 4, she isn't expecting the "perfect day" on her birthday, she's expecting her family and friends to be there. That includes Grandparents. Both sets of.

Just take a step back and re read your posts, this is one huge mountain you've made out of a tiny tiny little molehill.

If you and your DH have some sort of axe to grind, then do it, but do it after your daughters birthday.

I'm out of here. There will be no compromise. Which is a shame.

lulu_92

notanewuser wrote: »

He hadn't thought about having any of his family there until they suggested it. My family haven't been invited either. It was going to be a simple thing, and that's still what I want.

But at the end of the day it's DDs day and she might want them there if offered? Bit selfish to me.