Argh Inlaws - am I being ungrateful??

pinkshoes

I had a missed miscarriage at 11 weeks, so have been back to the hospital today for a final scan, just to check... the remaining tissue is being removed tomorrow.

My in-laws wanted to look after DS. As much as he would have loved the bus ride (parking at the hospital is hideous!), the waiting would have been boring for him, so thought it was a good idea.

I said I'd be back before 3pm, and I'd come and collect him - I have a play date at my friend's house at 3.30pm, then take him back to theirs for 5pm as I have a parents evening at school.

I've just phoned to find they've just decided to go out on their boat so won't be back until 5pm. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

He'll be in bed and asleep when I get home from school, so really wanted to spend some time with him on my day off, so feel really p*ssed off that for the SECOND time they've looked after him (had a hospital appointment last Tuesday too), they've not been back at the time they said they would.

It's nice they can look after him rather than me taking him to the hospital, but is it too much to ask that they return on time????

victory

pinkshoes wrote: »

I had a missed miscarriage at 11 weeks, so have been back to the hospital today for a final scan, just to check... the remaining tissue is being removed tomorrow.

My in-laws wanted to look after DS. As much as he would have loved the bus ride (parking at the hospital is hideous!), the waiting would have been boring for him, so thought it was a good idea.

I said I'd be back before 3pm, and I'd come and collect him - I have a play date at my friend's house at 3.30pm, then take him back to theirs for 5pm as I have a parents evening at school.

I've just phoned to find they've just decided to go out on their boat so won't be back until 5pm. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

He'll be in bed and asleep when I get home from school, so really wanted to spend some time with him on my day off, so feel really p*ssed off that for the SECOND time they've looked after him (had a hospital appointment last Tuesday too), they've not been back at the time they said they would.

It's nice they can look after him rather than me taking him to the hospital, but is it too much to ask that they return on time????

Well yes and no, yes they could have him back on time but no if it was not definetly pre- arranged should they hang around all day waiting for your appointment to finish, watching their GS get more and more frustrated and cooped up so they thought it would be fun for everyone to go out on this beautiful sunny day in their boat, perfect for all:D

pattycake

I am a grandparent and yes, you are being ungrateful! Sorry to hear of your problems which needed the hospital appointment.

Money_maker

Got to agree with above. You are very lucky to have such helpful in-laws, wish mine were that good.

Sit down and spoil yourself whilst you have a little time to yourself. Time on your own is very precious.

CH27

I think you're being a tad ungrateful.

They are obviously loving & involved grandparents.
They've gone out for the day & are keeping your DS happy & occupied.

I'm sorry for what you are going through & suspect that is clouding your thinking.

Northern78

Hi Pinkshoes

I don't want to sound harsh but I think you are being a bit hard on your in laws. Like someone has said your DS might have been getting bored and they only want to keep him happy. It's hard for grandparents, they want their grandkids time to be happy with them not bored. I appreciate what you were saying about the play date though. Maybe you could sit down with them and say if you have something else planned then you'd appreciate it if they could stick to arrangements but if nothing else is planned then let them have a bit of leniency?

My parents look after my DS while I work and sometimes I get frustrated with things they allow him to do or if he's out longer than planned but then I have to remember they are doing me a favour and I'd be in a far worse position without their help.

Maybe what you've gone through is also contributing to your feelings and means you're a bit more sensitive than usual.

Like Money Maker said though, use the time to relax, put your feet up and have a cuppa, your DS will have plenty more times to spend with mummy

millysg1

if I had specifically agreed to pick them up at a set time and made follow on plans I would be annoyed that they decided that have him longer without talking to you first about their plans. though it sounds like your DS will probably have a lovely time, to make plans and then change them without first discussing with parent isn't acceptable in my eyes. Maybe next time they will decide to take him away for the night without discussing with you first and that birthday party he was suppose to go to has to be cancelled!

pinkshoes

It was pre-arranged (a week ago) and they knew I'd be back at 3pm (at the very latest) and that I had plans...

They've already done the activity they planned with him. They then decided to go and do something else instead of coming home. They phoned me from the boat to say they wouldn't be back til much later, not to actually ask if I minded...

I guess that when I say I'll be somewhere at a certain time, I always am. I find it really irritating when other people can't do the same.

I'm regretting not taking him with me then going to do something fun afterwards. We always do fun stuff on my day off!

It's been a rubbish day and I was really looking forward to doing something with DS. That's all...

sulphate

I'm sorry about your miscarriage Would you really want to go on a play date straight after coming home from the hospital though? You obviously don't feel this way but I think I'd probably be grateful for some time moping on the sofa without having a child to look after. I would see it as a blessing in disguise and take the time to look after yourself.

pinkshoes

sulphate wrote: »

I'm sorry about your miscarriage Would you really want to go on a play date straight after coming home from the hospital though? You obviously don't feel this way but I think I'd probably be grateful for some time moping on the sofa without having a child to look after. I would see it as a blessing in disguise and take the time to look after yourself.

I found out at a private scan 10 days ago that the pregnancy wasn't viable, so have completed the moping and crying phase.

I'm just going through the NHS protocol of having to have 7 days between the two scans that THEY do (they wouldn't count the private one...) before they'll do the op.

I'm not very good at doing nothing. Too many things that I ought to be doing!

Georgiegirl256

Sorry to say this, but I agree with the others, I do think you are being a bit ungrateful. I guess with what you are going through at the moment (sorry to hear about that btw ) it will be ruling your emotions, and things that perhaps normally wouldn't bother you are getting to you even more than usual?

Would it have been worth it anyhow (even if they had of been home on time) picking him up spending an hour (or so) with your friend and then having to return your son back to the grandparents?

I think a trip out on the boat sounds like great fun!