Argh Inlaws - am I being ungrateful??

Northern78

In that case I'd be a little peeved too if they knew about the arrangements. Sit down with them and explain to them but make sure it's give and take on both sides, they won't feel hard done too then.

I'm the same, if I say at time then I'll be there at that time so understand your frustration.

Of course it's been a horrible day and if I've had a bad day (please don't think i'm making light of what you've been through) I too love a snuggle with my little man. Just try and remember though that he will have had a lovely day with his grandparents on the boat and you've still got plenty more times for snuggles. Pop in and see him while he's asleep and give him an extra big kiss tonight

pinkshoes wrote: »

It was pre-arranged (a week ago) and they knew I'd be back at 3pm (at the very latest) and that I had plans...

They've already done the activity they planned with him. They then decided to go and do something else instead of coming home. They phoned me from the boat to say they wouldn't be back til much later, not to actually ask if I minded...

I guess that when I say I'll be somewhere at a certain time, I always am. I find it really irritating when other people can't do the same.

I'm regretting not taking him with me then going to do something fun afterwards. We always do fun stuff on my day off!

It's been a rubbish day and I was really looking forward to doing something with DS. That's all...

Mojisola

sulphate wrote: »

I'm sorry about your miscarriage Would you really want to go on a play date straight after coming home from the hospital though? You obviously don't feel this way but I think I'd probably be grateful for some time moping on the sofa without having a child to look after. I would see it as a blessing in disguise and take the time to look after yourself.

And it's likely that your hormones are all out of kilter so it would be easy to over-react to things.

Ease off for now and look after yourself.

pinkshoes

Am trying to relax. I have tidied the whole house. DH will go mental as he won't be able to find anything hahahahahahaaa.

I find it very hard to do nothing when there are so many tedious things that need doing!

pollypenny

How much time do they get to spent with your DS?

They've helped you out, surely you can allow them some time with him without time limits.

We have to go to the USA to help out. Wish our little ones were near.

GobbledyGook

I think it's quite rude of them to go out later if they knew you had made plans with your friend.

Yes it's great for them to help, but being helpful doesn't mean you can just change plans to suit yourself. Especially when it leaves the OP having to cancel on her friend last minute and, potentially, leaves the play date child disappointed.

It would be one thing if they'd taken him somewhere and returned at 3 rather than hanging around, but to actively make him miss out on the playdate is rude (and not particularly helpful).

Sorry for you loss x

carolineb23

Yeah I don't think it's being too harsh either. if you had told them your plans (especially considering they involve someone else) and they have just gone ahead and done something else it's not very respectful. I'm really sorry for your loss x

System

Don't think it is harsh at all. I have the same issue regarding childcare all the time. While I am grateful for their love to my children it is really annoying that they don't follow what had been previously agreed.

Very sorry for your recent situation that led to this

BigAunty

I'm on the side of those who think their failure on two occasions to stick to a requested return time is selfish. They clearly don't appreciate that it impacts you and assume you don't mind.

Mojisola

pinkshoes wrote: »

so feel really p*ssed off that for the SECOND time they've looked after him (had a hospital appointment last Tuesday too), they've not been back at the time they said they would.

BigAunty wrote: »

I'm on the side of those who think their failure on two occasions to stick to a requested return time is selfish. They clearly don't appreciate that it impacts you and assume you don't mind.

pinkshoes - did you say when it happened the first time that you want them to stick to the times you arranged? And this time?

They might think they are helping out by keeping him for a bit longer.

pollypenny

I imagine the little one was having as good time with his grandparents as he would have had on play date. Was it such an important event? And you probably needed to rest, anyway.

Grandparents are not paid sitters to obey orders and work to time limits, but loving members of the family. You're flipping lucky to have them handy.