Argh Inlaws - am I being ungrateful??

Buzzybee90

Really sorry Pinkshoes.

However, if they knew you had plans I have no idea why they plan their own plans over the top!

Mrs_Soup

I would be very annoyed if someone knew I had plans and just ignored them to do what they wanted when they were ostensibly helping out.
My parents look after my sons a lot and I am very grateful but we work together to agree on timings etc and check in with each other if we need to make a change.

wiogs

Not at all ungrateful

If you make plans then it is rude of others to ignore them and decide to do whatever they like. No matter how well intentioned.

wiogs

pollypenny wrote: »

I imagine the little one was having as good time with his grandparents as he would have had on play date. Was it such an important event? And you probably needed to rest, anyway.

Grandparents are not paid sitters to obey orders and work to time limits, but loving members of the family. You're flipping lucky to have them handy.

True however it would be nice if they chose to stick with what had been agreed and weren't selfish old duffers who decide that they can do what they like.

Apologies to old duffers everywhere

pawsies

On the bright side at least they let you know!

Could have been waiting around for a while had they forgotten about you

pinkshoes

pollypenny wrote: »

How much time do they get to spent with your DS?

They've helped you out, surely you can allow them some time with him without time limits.

We have to go to the USA to help out. Wish our little ones were near.

They live 2 miles up the road and see DS lots. I know they helped me out, but I was more than happy to take DS with me. It was their request.

We're moving in with them soon for a few months!!!!

pinkshoes

Mojisola wrote: »

pinkshoes - did you say when it happened the first time that you want them to stick to the times you arranged? And this time?

They might think they are helping out by keeping him for a bit longer.

The first time I think it was their interpretation of time and although they knew I was collecting him, they didn't know I had plans. About 3pm was interpreted as 5pm!

This time they did know I had plans. I'm sure DS had fun, but I had to let the same friend down again. I hate letting people down. I think the inlaws just live on another planet when it comes to fitting in with other peoples plans!

FBaby

It is just a misunderstanding and it is the circumstances that made it frustrating for you. You were really looking forward to spending time with your son and only wanted them as babysitter. They didn't appreciate this and thought they were helping you by giving you time for yourself. They might have meant well, or at least just didn't think that it was important for you to be with him.

Don't let things like this get to you. Tomorrow is another day and it can be all forgotten. Just make sure you make it clear to them next time if it is important to you that your son is back at whatever time you say.

meritaten

pinkshoes - I am so sorry about your miscarriage, and that you had to have further treatment today. and that is why perhaps your inlaws decided to take your son out 'for the day'. They may well have thought that you could be in the hospital all day, or that you may not feel very good on returning home. I am sure they were just trying to be helpful and kind. tbh, I may have done the same with my one of my grandkids in those circumstances thinking I was doing it for the best.
I don't think you are over reacting as such - maybe misreading their intentions a bit?

Counting_Pennies_2

I think you just need to run with their time. If they are having him, let them have him for the day. I do think it a tad rude that you arranged for them to have him, then to have him back for a couple of hours and then expect them to have him again two hours later. So I think you should have expected the day to be theirs.


In terms of emotions, I wish you well, and I hope you can find some time for yourself. You are probably normally a busy person, and get things done. My warning is when I had PND I became manic. The house wasn't clean enough, it wasn't possible to fit in enough things in one day. Everything was buzzing. If you can find a way of letting yourself grieve for this little one, and be kind to yourself giving you some down time, I think it would help enormously.