Tired of arguments

steveouk

will try to post later or tomorrow and try to get this sorted. I cant go on like things are.

Gigervamp

Any local beauty spots near you? You could have a romantic picnic at one, which wouldn't cost much money.

steveouk

She is overweight.


She has some sort of frustration with me where she snaps at me for the smallest things, and I am like ok hang on a min don't jump down my throat.
She is a good cook but wont cook. and does not do romantic meals ever. Finances are split with bills going out of a joint account that we both pay half of what goes out. food and petrol split equal when I am home and she suits herself when I am away - we don't have kids if we did I would contribute while I was away.

millysg1

sulphate wrote: »

Perhaps the wife is resentful of working all day and then coming home and being asked to help with the chores whilst her husband has been at home all day? I don't really see why they need to discuss who does what when it seems pretty obvious.

Im not saying I don't agree with you, she may do. But he is unhappy and its causing arguments. Don't you think the best thing to do is to sit down and make sure everyone agrees with who does what, even if it maybe obvious for one. He obviously feels he shouldn't do everything around the house. Whether he his right or wrong, talking through these upsets are what partners/couples are suppose to do. Not just getting on with it but stewing away inside unhappy about it.

I would hate to think my OH wouldn't talk to me about something that was upsetting him about me whether I agreed with him or not. Id like to think we could talk it through and be happier for it.

Errata

steveouk wrote: »

Iher mum sees it all the time how unreasonable she is and often just so she can be in charge of me.

Here's a thought. It takes two to tango, so stop being so wet.

steveouk

what do you mean being wet? stupid? if I argue with her she just shouts and keeps going until she gets her own way and I am often only asking her to do something little or include me in something

elsien

Sounds to me a bit like you want things doing to your standards at the time of your choosing. You said earlier you like the washing up doing straight away, she'd do it last thing at night. As long as she does it, does it matter when? I'm a last thing at night person as well (tbh it's quite often left till the next day.) And if my partner was nagging me as soon as I'd finished eating I'd get the hump as well. You can't dictate everything. Maybe your wife is resenting your attitude but being immature about how she expresses it. The fine art of compromise does go both ways, and I think both of you want your heads banging together.

bizzybee

Pollycat wrote: »

Is she overweight?

Could she be unhappy about her weight and is projecting that anger onto you? ?

Personally, I think Pollycat has hit the nail on the head.

I know someone who is going through a very similar situation as you (in fact I did wonder whether it was him posting but from the time of your posts I know it can't be!) and has tried various ways to try and tackle the problem, sadly none have succeeded.

BigAunty

Shouldn't you consider couples counselling before heading straight into a divorce?

kelpie35

You sound as if you are very frustrated and sad.

I think you should just ask your wife if this is how things are going to be like in the future.

Would you be willing to write down all the things that are upsetting you, as you have said that every time you bring up things or try to talk to her she shouts at you. You certainly need to be able to express, to her, how much living like this is upsetting you.

If this continues, as it seems to have been like this for a while, you need to make a firm decision if you are willing to be hen pecked for the rest of your life or make a clean break and get a life.

Sorry if this is hard to read but you are coming across as a very sad person.

We only get one life and we should try to live it to the full. We are responsible for our own happiness.