Would you go on holiday without your children

vroombroom

Apologies but I haven't read all the replies.

We've never been on holiday without our 3 year old. We have two holidays abroad every year and the odd weekend away. Unfortunately we don't really have anyone who could watch him for us, but saying that, it wouldn't be a holiday without our lad running and jumping in the pool, shouting bazinga:D

quidsy

I send ds with his dad to see the outlaws & I spend a week in the city of their country pool lounging, shopping, clubbing & generally relaxing with my mates who live there. Started last year when ds was 6 & will become an annual event, next year they are going alone for a week first & I will join them for the last 2 weeks when we will go the beach. Saves me the hassle of sitting at the outlaws for a week on my annual holiday & lets mil see oh & ds without me there running interference.

That said, if my ds who is currently 7 kicked off as your dd did I would be looking at a period of "re-education" reduced pc/tablet time, increase of chores & just general refusal when wanting things. No 9 year old should be selfish in that way & pitching a fit is something she should be grown out of all ready imo.

My ds is indulged but not spoiled, he knows that when we say no to something or change our plans, it's a fact of life & if he is disappointed, not to take it out on others. But if he ever does and it has happened on occasion, he has learnt of our disapproval though the means mentioned above. It has been at least a year since the last minor incident.

seven-day-weekend

We never went without our son, but would have done so if we had the chance.

However, we went camping and took one of his friends with us so that he had someone to play with and we could do at least a bit of our own thing.

Toto

We haven't been away without the kids, I don't really fancy it to be honest. The older ones don't really come out of choice now apart from the 18 year old who tags along when she takes the fancy. Both my husband and I love hanging with the 5 year old, we don't stay home if we can help it, there's always somewhere to go or something to do. We love to jump in the car, get on the ferry and see where we can find in Europe for a weekend. I know when I am an old lady I will be looking back on those trips and thinking what precious times they were. It's not just about being away though, I generally love to hang out with the youngster. She's pretty cool and makes me laugh, a lot. That's me though, I get that every child and every family is different and if holidays away from the kids works for you that's just as ok as not.


I think the issue here is the behaviour. You sound understandably tired OP. I can totally understand why you'd want a break and think you should absolutely go for it. Recharge your batteries and come up with a strategy where you and your husband can work together to tackle little ones behaviour.

mgdavid

alias*alibi wrote: »

Now see I definitely don't class us of being selfish or dumping DD as we never have apart from my 40th birthday; 2 nights in London to see a show. My DD was even there on our "honeymoon" as we got married in the USA so never really had a proper honeymoon either.

This is why I wrangle with guilt over us having a holiday on our own as she is our DD and I love her to bits but I know if we don't make time for me and DH soon on our own we are going to burn out.

you need to fix the cause not the symptoms; the DD is called a bit of a princess / drama queen / brat depending on which other post I read. She needs to learn to compromise just as you two clearly do.

alias*alibi

mgdavid wrote: »

you need to fix the cause not the symptoms; the DD is called a bit of a princess / drama queen / brat depending on which other post I read. She needs to learn to compromise just as you two clearly do.

Yeah she's definitely all those things at some point. I know I've over compensated and spoilt her a bit but did snap last week when I felt ill and said to her 'it's not all about you'.

Still undecided as I know the guilt will creep in as I start looking at a couples only holiday.

pickledonionspaceraider

Yes I would, if there were suitable family on hand to help out, but never is the case in my lot.

Some (usually very well behaved) children can get very over excited, demanding and almost brattish on holiday - meaning a holiday ends up being stressful for the parents. On holiday also, you are often in very close proximity and don't always have the space to tell your child to go and play in their room for an hour whilst you have any time out

missbiggles1

jackieblack wrote: »

Fair enough, I take it all back.
That wasn't clear from your post, I didn't realise you'd done it in order to go away on your own (or even that you had gone away on your own while your child was at PGL), I read it as that you did it purely for the benefit of your child

How little you know me.;):)

missbiggles1

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

We never went without our son, but would have done so if we had the chance.

However, we went camping and took one of his friends with us so that he had someone to play with and we could do at least a bit of our own thing.

And with any luck, the friend's family will take them away in their turn and you get your own time.;) (Mind you, that only worked once for us when my husband had been ill and we needed to call in a favour.:()

FBaby

What teaches more about society and relationships than stronger extended family relationships, including time alone with grandparents, aunts or god parents or the like? Its also showing that these other relationships in your life are people who are prepared to put you first and enjoy time with you ( opposite of 'me' culture). Relationships outside the nuclear family unit are extremely important and underrated, one of the greater losses of the way most of us have to live now.

I totally agree with this. There seems to be a strong trend that considers that time with parents is always the best thing for children (before they start school, when then go on holiday now!). Yet, somehow, they are only too happy to see them leave the house as soon as they hit 18 or get a job.

I really don't understand the concept that it is punishing a child to want to spend time with one's partner doing things you do with partners, that wouldn't be appropriate for a child (not fun for them, wanting to stay up late, doing physical activities children are not allowed to do etc...), if that child gets to spend quality time with another member of family or friends.

In my view it is giving a wrong message to the child, that parents should be made to feel guilty if they dare having fun without their children.