Would you go on holiday without your children

FBaby

The fact that you are booking some time without her doesn't change the fact that she shouldn't act like a brat when you are on holidays all together. She should still appreciate that it is a family holiday and everyone needs to compromise.

If you know where you are going, how about researching what there is to do, then write a list of what everyone would like to do during that time. You can then start doing some sort of schedule so that she knows what to expect, ie. one day you take her to her favourite water park, but the following day, she follows you to your activity. Then give her a small treat, like an ice-cream, or get her favourite book, but give it to her on that day (or a game for a console etc...).

Explain to her that however much you plan ahead, there could be things that mean some activities might not happen and explains to her that it saddens you when she has a tantrum when you and her dad have done so much to please her.

johnunderwood

sazaccount wrote: »

Hi,

I haven't read all of the thread so apologies if this has already been said but have you thought about something like PGL or another kids camp (I got as far as saying that she doesn't like staying which her grandparents) They are entertained all day/evening and fed making new friends etc. It would give you chance to go off somewhere. I think they do weekends during term time or midweeks/weeks during the school holidays.

Depending on funds though you could always go to america and see the other grandparents, drop DD of with them and then you guys get an internal flight to somewhere for 4/7 nights. :rotfl:

There are places such as butlins that do adult only weekends, maybe a weekend (or until sunday evening) with grandparents might not be so bad. :j

Yes, I thought about it one day and I agree, it could be great idea for our children:)

newcook

I’d put money on that if I was to have acted that way (not just on holiday!) I would have had my bum slapped and sent to bed!

I appreciate that as a single child you have had a lot more attention to give her but it is making her into a brat and will only get worse once she hits teenage years when life is already ‘soooooo unfair’.
She needs to start learning to have respect for you and your husband and you both need to stop giving in to her strops. All she is learning so far is that if she stamps her feet, cries and screams loud enough you will give in and give her what she wants to keep her sweet!

Anyway, yes – go on a nice chilled holiday with your hubby and don’t feel guilty. Just because you are parents does not mean you are not still a couple.

kettlefish

Personally no, I wouldn't go on holiday without the kids. Can't see that changing, although they are only 2 and 7m, with baby being breastfed and still waking through the night, so not an option at present. I know people will say we are odd and should be enjoying time as a couple, but we have from 8pm ish to do that each evening (again maybe different if you both work outside the home, as that time would be spent doing housework etc)

However you shouldn't feel guilty for wanting to! We had 4 years worth lf couple holidays before DD1, so especially go for it if you've never been away just the two of you!Different strokes for different folks.

Morglin

mgdavid wrote: »

maybe it's a generational thing but I simply don't understand the selfish attitude of parents today. We never even thought of finding a way to dump the children on someone else so we could have 'time together'. We were and are a family and we always did things together and still do when we can, this year we had a week by the sea with #1 son and partner and 2 grandchildren plus #2 son and fiancee who were over from Australia. Both sons are in their 30s!

I don't think it's generational- I'm 60, my kids are 40, and my parents always had them for a week, when they were school age. They used to take them on a holiday.

Kids loved it, my parents loved it, and we got a week's break.:beer:

We love looking after our 10 grandkids, but not all at once, and we are restricted by disability.

All couples need "us" time.

Lin

Toto

I think there's a world of difference between the kids going off to the grandparents for a week to be spoilt and to have fun, and the parents having a break. To the parents feeling they need to have a break from the kids so searching for somewhere to send them to escape due to the child's poor behaviour.


It's the behavioural issues which need dealing with. The holiday away from the child will be forgotten within 5 minutes of the child re-entering the house unless the real issues are dealt with.

FBaby

It doesn't have to be black or white though. When hubby and I plan to go away without the kids, it is a mix of wanting to be with OH so we can give each other our full attention, and do activities together that the kids would not enjoy themselves (and usually costly, so no benefit for anyone), the kids being able to spend quality time with other members of the family who treat them great and are happy to do the things with them that they enjoy, and also having a break from each other which always makes you appreciate each other when we are back together.

What I couldn't do is have a great time if I thought at any time that my kids were not happy where they are.

balletshoes

FBaby wrote: »

It doesn't have to be black or white though. When hubby and I plan to go away without the kids, it is a mix of wanting to be with OH so we can give each other our full attention, and do activities together that the kids would not enjoy themselves (and usually costly, so no benefit for anyone), the kids being able to spend quality time with other members of the family who treat them great and are happy to do the things with them that they enjoy, and also having a break from each other which always makes you appreciate each other when we are back together.

What I couldn't do is have a great time if I thought at any time that my kids were not happy where they are.

that would also be the deal-breaker for me.

peachyprice

FBaby wrote: »

What I couldn't do is have a great time if I thought at any time that my kids were not happy where they are.

I think that's a kind of chicken and egg scenario that stems from parents who refuse to spend time away from their children though.

If they do try the children aren't used to being away from mummy and daddy so just won't settle, unlike children who are used to spending time away, for no particular reason other than enjoying being spoilt by their extended family.

Smothering parents breed clingy children.

FBaby

I agree with you peachyprice although it hasn't been my experience. I was a clingy mum when they were toddlers, and although DD has always been very independent, DS was extremely attached to me and didn't have much confidence away from me. I left them for the first time when they were 2 and 5yo due to a family emergency, and I cried the entire time imagining them crying and begging for me, but they were absolutely fine.

The next time I went away for 4 days was 2 years later, this time could talk to them on the phone which really helped, but again, despite some slight apprehension, they were absolutely fine. I always feel a little anxious going away until I can speak to them on the phone, but there haven't been one instance when they have said they missed me miserably, or shown any sign that they have, and the older the get, the more they seem to enjoy being away from me for a week!