Would you go on holiday without your children

moomoomama27

Mojisola wrote: »

The OP has spent years putting the child's interest above everything else and that's a shame as well.

Balance is what's needed. If the parents have spent every holiday pandering to DD's wants, a trip away without her might put things in perspective.

I do t see it that way, it may be that rather than saying you've ruined our holidays with your behaviour, they address the parenting that leads the child yo behave that way.

Perhaps a series of days out with the emphasis bring on quality time, no spending money, no getting treats, just good old fashioned fun!

There's plenty of years ahead to go on holidays without your children, it seems a shame to exclude them for the short time they are with you.

hunnie

"There's plenty of years ahead to go on holidays without your children, it seems a shame to exclude them for the short time they are with you"


I agree with this. It seems a bit selfish to want to leave them behind, but it is in the op's case it's the child's behaviour they would be escaping from.

themull1

Spendless wrote: »

The only people I know with kids who can go away for a week without them, are the ones where they are no longer with their children's biological parent who has them in holidays, making it so they are able to go away.

IL's had my niece for a week when sis-in law married her 2nd husband and went on honeymoon, but they were younger then, in better health and Niece is an only child.

For us, we have no-one we can leave kids (aged 14 and 11) with for longer than 2 nights. I had to keep pointing this out to hubby, because he wanted us to go to Las Vegas for his 50th next year. I kept telling him it wouldn't be possible because the trip would require more than 2 nights and the ages of the kids at that point would mean we needed overnight care for both. It took me months before he could see it wasn't a possibility.

I did this last year, my ex took our two kids to spain for a week with his sister and his girlfriend, and me and my new husband went to spain for the same week. I still got upset a couple of times, but they were fine. They said that they didnt enjoy it as much as if it had been with me. But i wouldn't go on holiday abroad and leave the kids at home. I would feel too selfish.

FatVonD

I don't think there's anything wrong in doing it but personally I agree with Moomoomama and I want to share all my holidays with the kids while they still want to come with us!

We have been away on our own for a couple of nights for our anniversary for the last couple of years and planned to go away for a long weekend for our honeymoon (though it didn't work out that way) but for such a short time it's not a lot different to when DS stayed with his dad for a couple of days.

DH would love us to go away sans kids for a week or even a fortnight but he's used to being away from his kids for that long since they live with their mum but we've plenty of time once we're too uncool to be around even for a free holiday .

alias*alibi

hunnie wrote: »

"There's plenty of years ahead to go on holidays without your children, it seems a shame to exclude them for the short time they are with you"


I agree with this. It seems a bit selfish to want to leave them behind, but it is in the op's case it's the child's behaviour they would be escaping from.

This isn't quite correct. The last holiday she was a little madam, but that's the only holiday she has played up on, which was a shame as I was desperate to relax and get away after having a very stressful time at work lately which was kind of marred by her attitude and being ill.

The problem is me and DH have never had a holiday alone, we have been through some tough times so it would be nice to put us first without having to think about anyone but us for a change in the 10 years we have been together..

balletshoes

alias*alibi wrote: »

This isn't quite correct. The last holiday she was a little madam, but that's the only holiday she has played up on, which was a shame as I was desperate to relax and get away after having a very stressful time at work lately which was kind of marred by her attitude and being ill.

The problem is me and DH have never had a holiday alone, we have been through some tough times so it would be nice to put us first without having to think about anyone but us for a change in the 10 years we have been together..

i understand that - but your daughter is a third of your family unit, how would she feel about you going away without her? We have just started talking about doing this, we've started discussing it with my DD, but she's 13, and I wouldn't go without her if she wanted to come along. And she is used to spending days at a time with my sister and mum, she does it every year at some point during the school holidays.

Pearlstar

We never went on holiday without the kids but we did used to go to places that had kids clubs (like Thomson Family hotels) the kids soon made friends and we had plenty of time to ourselves, we even made friends with some other parents, Happy Days.

moomoomama27

Pearlstar wrote: »

We never went on holiday without the kids but we did used to go to places that had kids clubs (like Thomson Family hotels) the kids soon made friends and we had plenty of time to ourselves, we even made friends with some other parents, Happy Days.

I think this is a great idea! Ive never thought of it, despite being a parent for 17 years!!

Mojisola

moomoomama27 wrote: »

I do t see it that way, it may be that rather than saying you've ruined our holidays with your behaviour, they address the parenting that leads the child yo behave that way.

There's no reason why both can't be done.

I wouldn't ever say to a child that "you've ruined our holidays" but there's no reason for a child not to understand that parents sometimes want time to themselves.

Children aren't taken to every event that their parents go to and children will have opportunities to go on school trips or scout/guide camps, etc. Are the parents expected to be devastated that their child is having a holiday that doesn't include them?

moomoomama27

Mojisola wrote: »

There's no reason why both can't be done.

I wouldn't ever say to a child that "you've ruined our holidays" but there's no reason for a child not to understand that parents sometimes want time to themselves.

Children aren't taken to every event that their parents go to and children will have opportunities to go on school trips or scout/guide camps, etc. Are the parents expected to be devastated that their child is having a holiday that doesn't include them?

It would depend on the holiday. If it were a beach holiday or something that a child would LOVE then I'd feel terrible about it, and really miss mine.

I think as a couple you can spend quality time without having to go on holiday and exclude your children from the experience!

As a parent I wuldn't want to go on a guide camp, but I would be upset they were going away, as I always have been when any of my three go on a school residential.