Would you go on holiday without your children

notanewuser

peachyprice wrote: »

I think that's a kind of chicken and egg scenario that stems from parents who refuse to spend time away from their children though.

If they do try the children aren't used to being away from mummy and daddy so just won't settle, unlike children who are used to spending time away, for no particular reason other than enjoying being spoilt by their extended family.

Smothering parents breed clingy children.

Is there a specific age at which "dependent" becomes "clingy"? What about people that don't have people they can leave their children with for extended periods? What if people just aren't that bothered about going away and would rather do other things?

When is your "one size fits all" parenting book out, by the way?

notanewuser

FBaby wrote: »

the older the get, the more they seem to enjoy being away from me for a week!

That's exactly as it should be. This expectation that babies should be independent from the moment they are born goes against our evolution over thousands of years!

missbiggles1

notanewuser wrote: »

Is there a specific age at which "dependent" becomes "clingy"? What about people that don't have people they can leave their children with for extended periods? What if people just aren't that bothered about going away and would rather do other things?

When is your "one size fits all" parenting book out, by the way?

Then you leave them with people who are paid to look after them - just like any other childcare arrangement.

happyandcontented

missbiggles1 wrote: »

Then you leave them with people who are paid to look after them - just like any other childcare arrangement.

Is there that type of paid for overnight/weekly childcare?

If there is I am not sure I would be comfortable with using it.

Mojisola

alias*alibi wrote: »

Honestly I've tried all kinds of activities with her; swimming, gymnastics, musical theatre and she gives up on all of them within weeks so I know brownies/guides would be much the same.

She probably won't enjoy any clubs because none of them will put her at the centre of their world - she'll just be another member.

You're doing her a great dis-service by always putting her first. Families are groups of people and everyone is important.

notanewuser

happyandcontented wrote: »

Is there that type of paid for overnight/weekly childcare?

If there is I am not sure I would be comfortable with using it.

Presumably one should hire a full time, live-in nanny, just on the off chance that one wishes to sod off with one's husband for a second honeymoon once one is discharged from the maternity ward.

FBaby

notanewuser wrote: »

That's exactly as it should be. This expectation that babies should be independent from the moment they are born goes against our evolution over thousands of years!

I agree with this too, but I think children do have to be encouraged to make that transition. I see many kids who not only are not, but are hold up from doing so.

peachyprice

notanewuser wrote: »

Is there a specific age at which "dependent" becomes "clingy". What about people that don't have people they can leave their children with for extended periods? What if people just aren't that bothered about going away and would rather do other things?

I would say when a child knows that they are preventing their parents from doing something by throwing a tanturm to get their own way, maybe? Something dependent baby wouldn't know how to do but an older child would be well aware of.

Isn't it obvious, if you have no trusted extended family you would want to leave your children with, you don't do it. But there's no need to be judgemental of people who do have that privilege.

When is your "one size fits all" parenting book out, by the way?

Around the same time as your "earth mother perfect parenting guide" is out I think.

FBaby

Are there many families don't have any extended family who would welcome looking after a child? Obviously not forcibly close by, but then you consider the issue of distance in working the arrangements.

I don't think I know anyone amongst my friends who doesn't have a family member to look after their child, if not regularly, as a one off situation.

Mojisola

mgdavid wrote: »

maybe it's a generational thing but I simply don't understand the selfish attitude of parents today. We never even thought of finding a way to dump the children on someone else so we could have 'time together'. We were and are a family and we always did things together and still do when we can, this year we had a week by the sea with #1 son and partner and 2 grandchildren plus #2 son and fiancee who were over from Australia. Both sons are in their 30s!

"dumping" is very emotional word!

My nephews and nieces (mostly in their 40s now) counted down the days to the start of their holiday with the grandparents and the aunts, uncles and cousins who all lived in the same area. We are all part of the same big family and having a block of time with them instead of just occasional flying visits was great.