Would you go on holiday without your children

duchy

alias*alibi wrote: »

Yeah she's definitely all those things at some point. I know I've over compensated and spoilt her a bit but did snap last week when I felt ill and said to her 'it's not all about you'.

Still undecided as I know the guilt will creep in as I start looking at a couples only holiday.

I guess if you've raised her to think she is the centre of the universes and her "wants" come above your (and the rest of the world's) needs then I suppose when the chips were down and your need vastly outweighed her "want" it came as a bit of a shock to you that she didn't understand .

It was probably a bit of a wake up call - and not in a bad way. We all see our kids through rose tinted specs- a reality call once in a while isn't a bad thing.

Maybe if she doesn't do much in the line of activities where she needs to co-operate with others rather than more single centred activities it might be an idea to introduce some ?

As for going away withut her. If you are going to be racked with guilt then there isn't much point in going....If on the other hand she's happy to be doing her own thing elsewhere whilst you are away (like PGL) then that might be easier on you all for a first holiday away from her.

[Deleted User]

Yup, on average three or four times a year, while the in-laws mind the kids.

They get to stay in our large beautiful house instead of their two-up two-down and we end up in the sun somewhere with copious amounts of alcohol and lubricants.

Two weeks today to our next jolly and I've already got the bag of sex toys packed.

Here we go, here we go, here we go ....:beer::j:T

moomoomama27

We've been away for long weekends without the children, but that is because it's things they wouldn't be interested in doing!

I couldn't go on a holiday abroad without them, or even a UK holiday, I would miss them too much, and would want them to share in the experiences we were having!!

Toto

Deleted_User wrote: »

Yup, on average three or four times a year, while the in-laws mind the kids.

They get to stay in our large beautiful house instead of their two-up two-down and we end up in the sun somewhere with copious amounts of alcohol and lubricants.

Two weeks today to our next jolly and I've already got the bag of sex toys packed.

Here we go, here we go, here we go ....:beer::j:T

That just makes me feel a little bit sad.

jackieblack

Toto wrote: »

That just makes me feel a little bit sad.

Definitely TMI _pale_

alias*alibi

Any wrote: »

If she heard it once in a life and that only in anger that will not make a difference!!
If I was that spoilt and told my mother I hate her and she is awful because she is ill, my father would have gone mental!!

You need to look at your parenting skills and where this guilt is coming from. You seem to be eaten by guilt if something doesn't go madam's way. How is she longer term with other kids?

I think sending her to summer camp is great idea.
They have entertainment for the kids on all the time (activities, competitions, exercise) and kids learn great skills not only from these activities but also from interaction with other kids, form friendships and find that they are not the only ones in the universe. They have to adjust behaviour to be accepted.

We went as little and we had great time. There was lots of little spoiled madams too and they soon changed their ways.. they wouldn't let themselves to be excluded from all that fun!!

The guilt stems from my own childhood I guess. Talking with DH last night I said there are only really 2 memories I have of my childhood; I could hardly recall any . So I'm guessing I'm wanting DD to have memories to look back on. Also when my mum moved to the USA 21 years ago, her new husband was more important than anybody else in her life and left her old life and took no personal treasures or photos with her. Therefore I have NO photos of me as a baby, child, teen etc and I don't know what happened to them. I'm forever snapping pictures of DD because of this.

Well today I booked another family holiday at the same site in Cornwall for for a week next August as it located in a beautiful place and we didn't go everywhere we wanted too . DH said he knew I wouldn't do a couples only holiday; however it's his 40th December so in the May/June half term we are going to get away for a few days on our own and celebrate a belated 40th as 29th December is an odd time to celebrate a birthday really with being between Christmas and new year.

QuackQuackOops

alias*alibi wrote: »

Last week me, DH and DD aged 9 went on holiday to Cornwall. We were blessed with beautiful weather and our site was on beautiful Hayle beach. Each day my DD would pester us to do something and throw a strop if we didn't. She did archery, fencing, aqua jets and kayaking on the site; we spent a day in Helston and the other days on the beach. Unfortunately I came down with flu the day before we were due to leave but still went to the beach for several hours and ended up being really quite poorly when we got back to the caravan. Anyway, because at the beginning of the week i mentioned going to the clubhouse on our last night she had it firmly planted in her head we were still going despite seeing how ill I was and pulling an almighty strop. In the end DH took her there for an hour or so. She is so unappreciative of things we do for her and ends up ruining the day with her strops. Even calling us the worst parents ever at times.

I love DD to bits, she has come on every holiday we've ever had (except my 40th trip to london to see a show); however me and DH have never been on holiday together. I'm desperate for a week away in the sun, lazing the days away next to the pool and me and DH popping out for a relaxed meal and drinks on our own. We hardly ever get out for an evening on our own as my parents live in the USA and his live 45 miles away and don't drive so we spend a lot of time with DD. I tried to book a holiday on our own a couple of years back but felt guilty then tried to justify the cost factoring in free child places and saying DD might as well go as it would cost the same etc. We never booked it and done a family trip in the UK instead.

Would you go away with your OH without the kids? Have you and how did your kids react?

Yes!!
However, your stroppy daughter is a result of you mollycoddling her.
She will only get worse if you don't rein her in.

YOU are the parent, not her.

[Deleted User]

Toto wrote: »

That just makes me feel a little bit sad.

You mustn't feel sad.
Just think of it as one of life's great win-win situations and one of the keys to a long and successful marriage.
You just can't beat quality time with a trip via Headboard Heaven.;)

This_Year

We went away every year for a week without DD. It's important to have time as a couple where you're not being parents. DD was perfectly happy going to grandparents.

She also went away with the school in Y6 AND in Y7.

OP, I know it's not what you asked... but had you considered getting your DD to go to Guides (or something like that) so she gets used to being in a group and it not all being about her wishes [and they go camping too!]

alias*alibi

This_Year wrote: »

We went away every year for a week without DD. It's important to have time as a couple where you're not being parents. DD was perfectly happy going to grandparents.

She also went away with the school in Y6 AND in Y7.

OP, I know it's not what you asked... but had you considered getting your DD to go to Guides (or something like that) so she gets used to being in a group and it not all being about her wishes [and they go camping too!]

Honestly I've tried all kinds of activities with her; swimming, gymnastics, musical theatre and she gives up on all of them within weeks so I know brownies/guides would be much the same.

Definitely going to get away May/June half term. Whether it's a few days/week don't know yet but feel better now I've booked another family holiday in August so don't feel as guilty.