Would you go on holiday without your children

Counting_Pennies_2

Everyone is different. I think if it is right for the family you should do it.


I have had several long weekends away over a 10 year period, averaging every two years and that has done us as a couple the world of good. In fact we are overdue a break, haven't had one for several years now, and it is very much needed.


My children love it when we go away, they get to spend time with their grandparents and have a little snow globe as a momento from whatever country/city we have visited.


With the high divorce rate and stressful lives I think we owe it to ourselves to look after our relationships.


To everyone who can't bear the thought of leaving their children, for whatever reasons they have, I don't think it makes you any more right than it does those who go away for short breaks leaving their children in the safe hands of others.


I think we need to have the courage of our convictions. If you believe it is something you need as a couple, go for it. It will not make you a lesser person. It might just make you a calmer, more fulfilled person who has a stronger relationship because of it.

kafkathecat

lostinrates wrote: »

What teaches more about society and relationships than stronger extended family relationships, including time alone with grandparents, aunts or god parents or the like? Its also showing that these other relationships in your life are people who are prepared to put you first and enjoy time with you ( opposite of 'me' culture). Relationships outside the nuclear family unit are extremely important and underrated, one of the greater losses of the way most of us have to live now.

I completely agree, I just feel that it shouldn't be forced on a child or because the parents want time away from them. Ds spent a lot of time with his gran when she was alive. He has also been away with friends.
Thinking about this a little further I wonder if mothers having to work (as opposed to choosing to) makes it more necessary for couples to find special time for each other?

kafkathecat

peachyprice wrote: »

I find it equally depressing when couples have children and devote their whole lives to them, not wanting to have a life for themselves because of their precious children.

I'm sure none of the children have been harmed by parents who take time to preserve life as a couple, just the same as none of the children have been harmed by suffocating parents who refuse to spend time away form them.

I agree, to an extent. Over parenting is as problematic as under parenting. To be fair I haven't thought this through in any great depth. I have seen children parented in many different ways and all have turned out OK but very different.
It is very important to keep your marriage together I guess I just disagree that holidays without children are necessary for this.

millysg1

jackieblack wrote: »

There are a limited number of years for family holidays and I personally wouldn't exclude my child from any holiday as family time is so previous.

Family holidays never stop for my family. Last September me, my OH, Sister, BIL, Mum, dad, Grandma, Grandad, Niece and nephew all went away for a week.

I would say every other year I also go away with OH family and that can include grandparents, parents, siblings aunts, uncles and cousins.

kafkathecat

peachyprice wrote: »

I don't understand why you think this is a new thing. I certainly know that my own grandmother spent time away from her parents, many a tale was told about her mother's travels and time she spent with her own grandparents. It would seem, if you are to be believed, that this country has been suffering as the result of 'selfish parents' for the last 100 years!

Yes, sorry it was a bit doom and gloom I was just trying to stick some thoughts together and I haven't thought deeply enough about it. Time away from parents is very important as long as the child has some say and extended family is wonderful and important. I'm still very glad we haven't holidayed without ds and so is he!

Gra76

I wish we could get away with having time away but my MIL (retired and living on her own) helps out with the childcare by having the mini-me's for 3 days a week while myself and the other half go to work and that's more than enough for her.

My own mum (still working and living on her own) if I'm honest isn't remotely interested in looking after the kids even if it's for a few hours so I know there's zero chance of getting her to look after them. She has a very limited social life these days but always seems to have something on if I ask her to babysit or look after them for an hour or two.

The next holiday we'll be having together as a couple is likely to be when the youngest turns 16 and I can (hopefully) trust the three of them to look after themselves without destroying the house. That's only another 13 years away and we've done the previous 9 years without a break as a couple so what's another 13? :)

jackieblack

missbiggles1 wrote: »

No it isn't, we did it so we could go away on our own and we didn't have any relatives to help out!

Fair enough, I take it all back.
That wasn't clear from your post, I didn't realise you'd done it in order to go away on your own (or even that you had gone away on your own while your child was at PGL), I read it as that you did it purely for the benefit of your child

jackieblack

millysg1 wrote: »

Family holidays never stop for my family. Last September me, my OH, Sister, BIL, Mum, dad, Grandma, Grandad, Niece and nephew all went away for a week.

I'm sure once my DD has her own family we'll have family holidays again, but at the late-teen stage she's not so interested in holidays with parents just atm.

lostinrates

kafkathecat wrote: »

I completely agree, I just feel that it shouldn't be forced on a child or because the parents want time away from them. Ds spent a lot of time with his gran when she was alive. He has also been away with friends.
Thinking about this a little further I wonder if mothers having to work (as opposed to choosing to) makes it more necessary for couples to find special time for each other?

So if he was away with friends or with grandmother, could parents not do something that might not appeal to the child so much.....

( fwiw I don't believe holidays are requisite either, but if that's what this couple want and can afford so be it, they would think things we do aren't requisite or indeed desirable I imagine)

lika_86

I'd go, tell her that it was because her behaviour last time meant that it wasn't a nice holiday for you so you're going away without her to compensate and that if her general attitude improves to disappointments that you might consider taking her on the next holiday.