Holiday Nightmares!

katsu

Sounds like you sent the confirmation by email to them so why not message then about the cancellation the same way, saying you wanted to tell them on the phone but they went before you could speak?

Keep the friend informed directly that way and then the letter in the post is confirmation.

something odd is happening here and I hope you and your friend can sorry it out.

alextexmex

FBaby wrote: »

I know I keep playing Devils advocate but I personally think that your way of dealing with it is very selfish if you forget the way she had behaved. However your mate as tout day was more reasonable yet he might be losing his chance of an annual holiday that meant a lot to him and you don't seem to be that bothered. I don't think that's being a very good friend. You don't need to be blunt with him he is your friend she is not.

I have attempted to discuss and meet with him on numerous occasions over the past few weeks to discuss about my health problems and the implications of such. He won't meet me and have a adult chat unless she is there, and she spends most of her time shouting and balling over things that no one seems to be able to see.


I have contacted him by text, calls, tried calling him at work and my attempts have failed. I have tried to be objective and fair, I have been accused of god knows what despite them receiving the documents twice now, plus me facing down the barrel of a rather unpleasant and vile illness and they are not interested in anything other than me not "ruining their time away by being ill".


what else can I do?

FBaby

Re - reading the whole thread I can't help but think we only have one side of the story here. What our sounds like to me is that they started to wonder whether the holiday could be cancelled due to OP's health (I'm surprised that the prospect of it wasn't at all discussed sooner considering the implication on their holiday) and they decided to connect the travel agent who might have said something different to what OP is claiming was said that led them to suspect that maybe the holiday was already cancelled which would explain her attitude.

did you give them another copy of the booking after all? Did you tell them before your appointment considering there would only be 6 weeks left before you were due to go that there might be a chance it would have to be cancelled however small the chance was then? You say that it you were told that it would be difficult for you to fly but not impossible so how can you be so sure your claim will go through? No one can give you full assurance of it after a quick phone conversation.

I do feel for them. 5 weeks before their long waited for holiday they can't go and have the money back and can't be certain they will so might not want to risk paying for a last minute one instead. It was a very stupid arrangement in the first place.

alextexmex

To try and be as concise as possible, yes they have received and confirmed receipt of the booking and payment confirmation. Along with this the agent has since the last amount of abuse that was thrown at me been given my written permission to discuss the holiday with them directly.


I fail to see why after months of tests, hospital appointments, doctors, referrals and all the correspondence which I have as evidence... that when I have attempted to discuss my health issues and make further arrange the holiday and future , I have had nothing but snide comments, sarcastic put downs, refusal to meet with me, ignorance and difficulties.


I have not once had a concerned message about my health, not one well wish, all they care about is to remind me that me being ill ruins their plans, to tell me that its unfair on them that this has happened to me. I would say its unfair on everyone, I didn't ask to be ill.


Without sounding crass to anyone, no offense intended, I know she is going to make my life miserable for making the mistake of cancelling. I have kept the proof and evidence of the messages she has sent me, the accusations, the booking, payment details, third party access to the agent which they have, phone call logs, screen shots, emails and all my attempts to have a adult convo.


Its been said that there's only one side to the story, that may be true, but I can and will back up everything I have said. I came on here to ask for advice as I was the end of my tether and while this situation is unfair, but how is how I've been treated fair on me. Put yourselves in my shoes, how would you respond when you have tried to sort it out?

alextexmex

FBaby wrote: »

Re - reading the whole thread I can't help but think we only have one side of the story here. What our sounds like to me is that they started to wonder whether the holiday could be cancelled due to OP's health (I'm surprised that the prospect of it wasn't at all discussed sooner considering the implication on their holiday) and they decided to connect the travel agent who might have said something different to what OP is claiming was said that led them to suspect that maybe the holiday was already cancelled which would explain her attitude.

did you give them another copy of the booking after all? Did you tell them before your appointment considering there would only be 6 weeks left before you were due to go that there might be a chance it would have to be cancelled however small the chance was then? You say that it you were told that it would be difficult for you to fly but not impossible so how can you be so sure your claim will go through? No one can give you full assurance of it after a quick phone conversation.

I do feel for them. 5 weeks before their long waited for holiday they can't go and have the money back and can't be certain they will so might not want to risk paying for a last minute one instead. It was a very stupid arrangement in the first place.

P.S to answer your question of why I was advised not to fly, I have had one surgical organ biopsy completed, I am being tested and starting for a illness that everyone on the planet knows of and fears. Not travelling is advised as my treatment would be paramount to my long term wellbeing and life. I wont sacrifice my health over a holiday, why should I?


plus if it comes to pass that I do have this illness, then my doctor, consultant and private health insurance company has advised this illness would be covered by travel Insurance as it fits the standard criteria for a none prexisting condition. The travel insurance company advised I would be entitled to claim but the final decision is with the evidence and the underwriter, but that is no different to having your car ran into...there's no guarantees.

BigAunty

It's a shame but I think the criticism and snubs you are receiving spells the end of the friendship so your only remaining action is to refund the money and move on with your life.

Do you think she is controlling access to him or do you also think he agrees with her stance as he's not responding when you try to contact him outside of their house? Some people get trapped in terrible relationships where their partner ensures they are isolated from their friends and family, they are socially and financially controlled for example. She sounds like she has a very intimidating and dominating personality, bordering on abusive.

Primrose

Your health has to be the prime consideration here and frankly if they were both genuine friends they would be concerned for you too, even if they were disappointed about the holiday. If your friend,s girlfriend is as prickly as your to ate, count yourself fortunate. You may inadvertently have been rescued froma holiday from hell which permanently cools your friendship.

It,s not your fault she can,t take care of her paperwork. Can they not go on their own? I would simply refund their share of the deposit and let things settle down before you have too much contact with them again. Health issues can crop up unexpectedly for anybody and if they are supposed to be friends and can't give you some moral support at a difficult time I would question what kind of friends they really are.

Concentrate of trying to get well again and don,t get I to the trap of ever trying to rebook a ho,iday with them. Just ask yourselves what kind of support they would have given you if you had been taken ill on holiday. They would probably have spent the whole time moaning about how their own plans had been ruined and made things even worse for you

Gigervamp

I've been following your thread OP and I just want to wish you all the best. I really, really hope that it's not what you're fearing.

Look after yourself.

alextexmex

BigAunty wrote: »

It's a shame but I think the criticism and snubs you are receiving spells the end of the friendship so your only remaining action is to refund the money and move on with your life.

Do you think she is controlling access to him or do you also think he agrees with her stance as he's not responding when you try to contact him outside of their house? Some people get trapped in terrible relationships where their partner ensures they are isolated from their friends and family, they are socially and financially controlled for example. She sounds like she has a very intimidating and dominating personality, bordering on abusive.

its a difficult one, when I do manage to communicate with him without her around he is a lot more receptive and understanding, when with her he suddenly changes his tone and sounds like her Mini-me..

alextexmex

Gigervamp wrote: »

I've been following your thread OP and I just want to wish you all the best. I really, really hope that it's not what you're fearing.

Look after yourself.

Thank you for the kind words, I hope that its good news, should know soon, appointment with specialist next week.