When you children are no longer kids.

System

Spendless wrote: »

Which others? The 7 and 3 year old or are there other siblings too? If there aren't then she's been an only child until she was 15 and probably got used to having a lot more attention.

Are all 3 kids yours and your partners or is she from a previous relationship and there's a bit of jealousy going on over a blended family?

I'm 7 years older than my only sibling and I do remember once complaining to my Mum about similar stuff. I felt left out of family things just because I was older.

I'm 6,9, and 10 years older than my siblings, and there were times when i was younger that i felt a bit left out. I declined one family holiday when i was 16 and they've never invited me on one since, yet one of my sisters fro example has turned down one of the holidays before yet still gets invited, so i can understand your daughters feelings in respect to the day trip.

Flossie.

She does sound a bit childish yes. For 22. At that age, she should be getting on with her own life.

But it would have been nice for her to be included in the trip to the coast. Or at least asked...

My daughter is 17 and would have been well cheesed off if we had gone off and not asked her.

Maybe some young adults would not, but clearly your daughter is feeling left out. As I said though, she sounds a bit childish...

Good for her for getting a job.

PasturesNew

When you're 22 you still want to do stuff on bank holidays, money or not .. and if she's not at work, but home alone, it'll be dead boring. You should have asked her what her plans for bank holiday were before buying tickets (train?) for the rest of you and not even considering her.

If she's living under your roof, it's just polite to check/ask/include.

How much would it cost? It's the last long weekend, last of summer, for the rest of the year (actually, it'll probably pee down and you'll wish none of you had gone!).

bagpuss38

Your all right of course.
She should have been invited.
I guess I just assumed she would be doing her own thing.
She goes off for days out etc with her mates doing whatever she wants not consulting or informing us.
I guess I thought we could do the same but I take everyone point.
I was wrong, guess I'm eating humble pie and going to apologise

surveyqueenuk

Spendless wrote: »

Which others? The 7 and 3 year old or are there other siblings too? If there aren't then she's been an only child until she was 15 and probably got used to having a lot more attention.

Are all 3 kids yours and your partners or is she from a previous relationship and there's a bit of jealousy going on over a blended family?

I'm 7 years older than my only sibling and I do remember once complaining to my Mum about similar stuff. I felt left out of family things just because I was older.

Great point Spendless, I acquired a sibling when I was 15 too. I couldn't really do the normal 15 yr old girl stuff, like having mates over and playing music "because you'll wake the baby".

Then came GCSE time. Now I KNOW that babies cry, but I wasn't getting a proper nights sleep, therefore shattered at school. Revision sessions constantly interrupted by Mum's requests to attend to, or watch the baby. I resented it so much. Managed nine, grades A-C, nobody seemed to care, everyone more interested in what the baby was doing.

At the time, I truly felt my parents loved my little brother more than me. Of course, now I know that wasn't the case but you don't see the world like that when you are that age.

OP, cut your DD a little slack and let her know you love her as much as your other DC, I bet all she needs is a little reassurance and just isn't very good at admitting it!

Flossie.

bagpuss38 wrote: »

Your all right of course.
She should have been invited.
I guess I just assumed she would be doing her own thing.
She goes off for days out etc with her mates doing whatever she wants not consulting or informing us.
I guess I thought we could do the same but I take everyone point.
I was wrong, guess I'm eating humble pie and going to apologise

LOL, don't worry. We all make fluff-ups as parents. I have made a shed load!

No matter how old a 'child' gets, they will always have feelings, and will be miffed and hurt at being left out.

Just say sorry (like you plan to) and say that you will arrange something else including her ASAP. Doesn't have to cost a lot; just a picnic maybe... But do make sure she starts contributing financially soon. A 22 y.o. with a job should be paying board and lodgings.

browneyedbazzi

bagpuss38 wrote: »

Yep we are at fault for not inviting her

It's not about blame - why don't you explain to her that you can't afford to pay her way at the moment, tell her she's welcome to come but as she's a grown up (and presumably had the benefit of days out etc when she was little) you think it's fair that she should pay her way. If she can't afford to go on this trip because she hasn't been paid yet then say she's welcome to come along next time when she has some money.

Buzzybee90

I would never assume a grown adult would want to go on a children's day out.

Amara

Buzzybee90 wrote: »

I would never assume a grown adult would want to go on a children's day out.

It wasn't children's day out, it was family's day out.

whitewing

We went to the park last week with DD and her aunty came along.

Why wouldn't an older sibling want a fun day out with younger siblings even if the day is catered towards them?