When you children are no longer kids.

bagpuss38

Hi all.

Well the title says it all.

I have a 22 year old daughter, who seems to think she should be treated the same way as her younger siblings. (7,3)
If they are bought a sweet and they come home with it. Then there is "where is mine"
I buy them a toy.
"You never buy me stuff"

Latest is me and other half booked tickets to coast 2moz as a school holiday treat.
Apparently we are taking the pi**.
Because we didn't Invite her.

She has just started a new job so doesn't have any money at the moment.
so we would have to pay for everything.

I'm at a loss of what to say to her.

Sorry.
She sounds like a spoilt child and I guess she is.
My fault entirely.
The others don't behave this way.

I always am made to feel like I owe her something.
she had as much as the others nothing less, yet feels hard done by.

whitewing

I'm with DD on the day out. I don't know why you didn't invite her for a family day out.

Brighton_belle

whitewing wrote: »

I'm with DD on the day out. I don't know why you didn't invite her for a family day out.

Because she has no money and they can't afford to pay for her?

browneyedbazzi

If she said 'where is mine' when you bought sweets for the little ones I would be inclined to say 'you ate yours 15 years ago, if you want more you'll have to buy them yourself'.

As for the day out...to me it sounds like a family event and I would have invited her (even if that invite stipulated that she would have to pay part of her costs).

Spendless

bagpuss38 wrote: »

The others don't behave this way.

Which others? The 7 and 3 year old or are there other siblings too? If there aren't then she's been an only child until she was 15 and probably got used to having a lot more attention.

Are all 3 kids yours and your partners or is she from a previous relationship and there's a bit of jealousy going on over a blended family?

I'm 7 years older than my only sibling and I do remember once complaining to my Mum about similar stuff. I felt left out of family things just because I was older.

Gigglepig

Giving her the benefit of the doubt, Are you sure this is about presents?

Is your OH not her dad - if so, perhaps she does not feel included in the new family unit? Why can she not be part of family days out? Can you not afford to include her?

Since there is a huge age gap, are you better off now than when she was little, and able to treat the younger siblings more? If so, might be worth mentioning that differences between now and then may be due to finances, not because you care more for the younger ones.

bagpuss38

whitewing wrote: »

I'm with DD on the day out. I don't know why you didn't invite her for a family day out.

Yes we are at fault for not inviting her.
I feel awful.

bagpuss38

Brighton_belle wrote: »

Because she has no money and they can't afford to pay for her?

This is very true, given that I have subbed her lunches and travel costs for work

bagpuss38

browneyedbazzi wrote: »

If she said 'where is mine' when you bought sweets for the little ones I would be inclined to say 'you ate yours 15 years ago, if you want more you'll have to buy them yourself'.

As for the day out...to me it sounds like a family event and I would have invited her (even if that invite stipulated that she would have to pay part of her costs).

Yep we are at fault for not inviting her

balletshoes

the others don't behave like this - you mean the 7-year old and the 3-year old? But they get sweets and treats that your daughter doesn't, don't they?

I think it would be nice to consider your daughter and invite her to family stuff along with you, especially as she doesn't have any money of her own right now.

bagpuss38

Spendless wrote: »

Which others? The 7 and 3 year old or are there other siblings too? If there aren't then she's been an only child until she was 15 and probably got used to having a lot more attention.

Are all 3 kids yours and your partners or is she from a previous relationship and there's a bit of jealousy going on over a blended family?

I'm 7 years older than my only sibling and I do remember once complaining to my Mum about similar stuff. I felt left out of family things just because I was older.

I also have an 19 year old son
Eldest 2 are from another relationship.