couples in a restaurant, eating in silence..

Georgiegirl256

mariposa687 wrote: »

Silence makes me uncomfortable generally so I like to keep talking !

Does it even make you uncomfortable with someone you are close to and feel relaxed with?

lostinrates

jetplane wrote: »

So you kiss, flirt and chat? Yes?

The original post was about people observed to be sitting in silence looking everywhere but at each other and that the OP's husband said he had ran out of things to say, which posed the question had we ever been desperate to have something to say but cant think of anything? That was the kind of silence that I was replying to.

As quoted my first words on this thread included I'm guilty... :rotfl:

If we arrive separately we chat more I think. That was my point really.

Run out of things to say? No, sadly not. We could talk about art, culture, other people, all kinds of stuff. But we don't Need to say anything, no. Just sitting there, winking and grinning occasionally is enough. Tbh, I don't check if serious people are playing footsy often, its not my business.

monkeychops

Peter333 wrote: »

LOL, me and 'er indoors are the opposite! Together over 30 years, and when we go for a meal, we chat incessantly. Our food goes cold half the time.:D

I find it very sad indeed when couples sit there for an hour or more, and don't say anything. The chances are, that it's the same at home. How depressing.

Me and OH are exactly the same. We have been married over 30 years and never seem to run out of things to talk about.

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

Exactly. I think if you feel that you've got to talk all the time rather than being comfortable with the silences, then that is more of a problem. You should be able to sit there without talking all the time and not feel uncomfortable with silence.

Neither me or OH feel we have to talk all the time but usually we do. We are both happy and comfortable with silences but we both find going for a meal is a great time to sit and talk without all the disruptions at home - dogs wanting to go out in the garden and then come back in, phone ringing, doorbell ringing, OH's mobile being rung by customers a lot (we don't take out mobiles with us when going for a meal).

pickledonionspaceraider wrote: »

I agree with KatieDee, a comfortable silence is a good sign for a relationship.

I would imagine that most couples are not talking all night long when they are having a night in, so what changes when people go out?

We do talk quite a lot most evenings but, as I said above, there are often a lot of distractions plus OH may have paperwork to do and needs to concentrate or if we are watching something on tv that we really like we watch in silence. Neither of us like talking if involved in a programme or film (never understand people who talk in the cinema). We always sit and talk when eating our meals.

monkeychops

duchy wrote: »

Oh just give them something spicy to listen to if you think they are

Occasionally just for a laugh and especially if the restaurant is full of miserable looking couples saying nothing other than "pass the salt please" me and OH will pretend to be a couple having an affair and say things like "So where does your wife/husband think you are tonight". We don't talk loudly but it can be hilarious to see the reactions of the couples on the tables close by. I am sure they believe we are having an affair especially as, even after more than 30 years of marriage, we often hold hands over the table

ladeeda

Horses for courses isn't it?
Everybody should just be grateful that they have somebody to talk or not talk to at dinner.

nic_santorini

I can talk for Britain and always find something to talk about when we are out for a meal. I bet my hubby looks at quiet couples and just wishes I would take a leaf out of their book and be quiet.

I often look at other couples in silence and wonder. I will wonder more next time I am out!! Happy eating everyone!!

savingmummy

Same here we mainly eat in silence - but chat inbetween the waiting for food and afterwards.
Not because we have nothing to say though. My DH can talk for England!! I like to eat in silence always have.
When we are home we are normally chatting with the children, about the day we`ve had and so on, if we go out we relish the peace

Goldiegirl

What I find interesting is, all the people on this thread who reckon they are having wonderful conversations with their spouses each time they go to a restaurant, have got time to look round at other couples and judge them because the other people don't seem to be particularly animated.

I would suggest that these conversations aren't really THAT interesting if your attention keeps wandering!

seven-day-weekend

Brighton_belle wrote: »

Yup, we're another of the quiet couples.


The week before we married a few years ago we were at a restaurant and didn't say a word to each other all meal. I bet some people would have looked at us and thought our relationship was doomed, lol. But we've never been happier. DH is a quiet introvert and doesn't do chatter 'on demand' and we are comfortable sitting in companionable silence in public places.

This is the nub really, isn't it? Some people are extroverts, some introverts, and within those you have quiet and talkative. A quiet introvert must seem really unhappy to a talkative extrovert and a talkative extrovert must seem really manic to the quiet introvert.

I am a talkative introvert. I was at a a wedding party last Thursday, and spent much of it just sitting on the sidelines watching other people dance (my husband was part of 'the band' , so I was sitting on my own). I was thoroughly enjoying myself but couldn't help noticing the groom's family who were loud and noisy (in a nice way), were always up on the dance floor and dancing with as many people as they could find. Talking to my friend (the bride's mum) later, she said they are real extroverts, always doing things in huge groups, always talking, laughing and playing practical jokes. They love it, but I would find an hour of their company enough. After that it would be overwhelming. They on the other hand, probably couldn't imagine anything worse than sitting alone watching other people dance. . They'd feel like Billy Nomates, whereas I was quite happy with it.

Horses for courses and it's just as well we are not all the same.

mariposa687

Geordiegirl256 - silence with my Oh doesn't make me uncomfortable. It's more that I think too much (about everything, not just anything related to my bf) when everything is silent and I just don't like it. In the house I always have the radio/youtube on for background noise.