couples in a restaurant, eating in silence..

jetplane

Buzzybee90 wrote: »

I find restaurant and taxi conversation to be the most awkward.

No idea why!

Because Taxi Drivers can hear everything? And restaurants have people like me wondering if your ever going to speak

Buzzybee90

jetplane wrote: »

Because Taxi Drivers can hear everything? And restaurants have people like me wondering if your ever going to speak

That's probably it. I do speak but it's awkward conversations to start with, be it my OH, family or friends! I just don't really like people listening!!

patanne

Maybe it is just that the need for conversation has just reduced. For instance, I have been known to look at him, look elsewhere - targeted, look back at him, and we are both grinning. There is no need to explain, I have seen something amusing, pointed it out, and he finds it amusing too. That along with the talking in code, which you tend to do after being in a long relationship.

We talk, there are no uncomfortable silences, but you do reach a stage of not having to say things like would you attract the waiter's eye because I would like another drink. The only time I have ever felt an uncomfortable silence is when it has been obvious that someone else has been obviously listening and making me self conscious

notanewuser

victory wrote: »

Do you think? Would you be ok with silence in a restaurant?

On the rare occasions that DH and I go out alone for food, there isn't a huge amount of conversation. He works from home a fair bit, so there's no "how was your day" stuff as we were both there!

duchy

Peter333 wrote: »

Family, friends, the kids, the neighbours, the weather, our forthcoming holiday, the last holiday, our past, our future, what's in the news, world events, work, issues at work, issues that friends have, our neighbours new conservatory, religion, politics, science, the environment, world news, our parents, our siblings, us as a couple, last night's telly, what's on tv, what we can see at the cinema or theatre. Many, many, many more things. A multitude of things.

Strange question.

Sounds like us.
I don't think I've ever had a relationship where it wasn't like that though. I'd be bored stiff with someone who didn't have something to say ....It'd be pointless.

Lily-Rose_3

Me and hubby chat when we are having a meal, but I do sometimes feel that people are listening. Even though they probably don't give a stuff LOL.

I do see some people not talking at all though. It's weird.

Lily-Rose_3

Peter333 wrote: »

Family, friends, the kids, the neighbours, the weather, our forthcoming holiday, the last holiday, our past, our future, what's in the news, world events, work, issues at work, issues that friends have, our neighbours new conservatory, religion, politics, science, the environment, world news, our parents, our siblings, us as a couple, last night's telly, what's on tv, what we can see at the cinema or theatre. Many, many, many more things. A multitude of things.

Strange question.

Yep this ^ There is ALWAYS something to talk about. New things happen every day.

duchy

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

Exactly. I think if you feel that you've got to talk all the time rather than being comfortable with the silences, then that is more of a problem. You should be able to sit there without talking all the time and not feel uncomfortable with silence.

My husband is another one who doesn't say very much for most of the times, but occassionly (usually when I'm busy doing something/watching something!) you can't shut him up!

There's a world of difference between companionable silences and not having anything to say to each other anymore though.

If dining out I was so bothered that other diners right happen to hear bits of my conversation that it killed all conversation.....I'd probably prefer not to eat out though.

Georgiegirl256

duchy wrote: »

There's a world of difference between companionable silences and not having anything to say to each other anymore though.

If dining out I was so bothered that other diners right happen to hear bits of my conversation that it killed all conversation.....I'd probably prefer not to eat out though.

Yes exactly. That's what I meant, and my reply was more in response to those who said they feel they have to say something just to create a conversation. Like you say, the silences should be companionable.

If a person is uncomfortable with the silences and has to "create" conversation, then that's not right to me....just my opinion of course.

patanne

To me it is not the not talking that is the problem but the not communicating. You don't have to actually talk to communicate. But you can talk incessantly and still not communicate.