couples in a restaurant, eating in silence..

[Deleted User]

I remember years ago when my husband and I were in our late teens/early twenties and we ended up spending the night in a sleepy town in the North of England. It was the kind of place you stopped off on the way home after a holiday in the Lake District or similar and the clientele in the restaurant were all reasonably elderly. After we left it came up that we had both separately noticed that all of the couples there apart from us were sat in silence and hadn't spoken a word throughout their whole meal. We were thoroughly depressed at the thought of that happening to us as we got older! :rotfl:

Now we're not exactly old quite yet (verrrry late twenties ) but now find that we sit in silence a lot more than we used to, but not always. In fact we just got back from a nice pub lunch and we yapped the whole time (albeit about boring adult things like getting a new bathroom and saving up to move house! ) Less to say once you've spent years together, makes sense. The difference that strikes me though is that when we're sat in companionable silence we will still look pretty content as we're enjoying being together. It was years ago but I can still remember just how miserable everyone looked and acted in that small hotel restaurant. So I think there is a difference between being sat happily (and quietly!) with your nearest and dearest and being out and about and not even appreciating that you are enjoying a nice meal out together.

lidlest

Sometimes me and hubby will chatter for on till the early hours of the morning, sometimes we sit in companionable silence, sometimes we stare daggers at each other cause we don't like to argue in public, sometimes we hold hands and giggle like teenagers, sometimes One of us will be distracted and the other happy to munch the other persons food.

These are all normal things in the ebb and flow of a long term relationship

My favourite people to spend time with are people I don't feel I HAVE to MAKE conversation with... Often times that means the conversation positively flows.

ciderwithrosie_2

Me and the OH are fairly quiet when we go out for a meal, we talk plenty at other times. Just we both find people endlessly chattering and loud enough to be heard, rather boring and annoying, so we don't do it ourselves. We endured 2 guys (the unmarried, with ponytails and awful dress sense type) talking non-stop about fantasy gaming the other day - was dying to tell them to give it a rest!


Even more annoying however, is new couples smooching and giggling or flirting done really badly...nobody wants to see or listen to that when they're eating!

pollypenny

We are usually talking about our gorgeous grandsons, and pining for them. OH will be ranting about the government or the Welsh Rugby Union or something.

We do talk about the food, too.

pollypenny

thatgirlsam wrote: »

I may be a little odd but I sometimes ask ' What shall we talk about '


We pick a subject then talk about it! haha Am I strange!?


I don't confine this behaviour to my OH I do it to mates aswell if I think the conversation is flagging!

Where have you been, Sam? Haven't seen you post for ages!

Good to see you again, you know what mean.

SuzieSue

I work with my OH from home and so spend almost every day and night with him.

We talk non-stop at home, but when we go out for a meal, we often check emails or read while we are waiting for our meal as neither of us really like talking when there are other peole within earshot. Obviously if there is something important we need to talk about then we will.

74jax

ciderwithrosie wrote: »

M
Even more annoying however, is new couples smooching and giggling or flirting done really badly...nobody wants to see or listen to that when they're eating!

Eeek that can be us, altho I hope we're a bit more discreet and no-one notices.

Georgiegirl256

Jessii1990 wrote: »

I think as long as its a comfotable silence then theres nothing to worry about, sometimes its just nice to sit and enjoy the other persons company without feeling obliged to have a conversation

Exactly. I think if you feel that you've got to talk all the time rather than being comfortable with the silences, then that is more of a problem. You should be able to sit there without talking all the time and not feel uncomfortable with silence.

My husband is another one who doesn't say very much for most of the times, but occassionly (usually when I'm busy doing something/watching something!) you can't shut him up!

pickledonionspaceraider

I agree with KatieDee, a comfortable silence is a good sign for a relationship.

I would imagine that most couples are not talking all night long when they are having a night in, so what changes when people go out?

meritaten

this made me think - especially as we will be on holiday together next week and will eat out once a day. Do we chat while eating? not really. before and after is generally chat, during the meal we tend to 'critique' the food! we know its really good if there is dead silence and only hear the occasional moan of pleasure! if its bad there is plenty to say!
a lot can depend on how 'chatty' I feel too - I do get quiet moods when I have little to say (yeah - I know you all wont believe that!). my OH tends to be quieter than me - if he has nothing to say he wont 'chit chat'.
but I have seen couples enter restaurants, and don't speak to each other the entire time!