Boys using ladies loos

HTB_newbie

A lack of toilets in general and a lack of discretion byothers to occasionally let someone jump the queue when in imminent need of the facilitiesis what causes most use by non-disabled people of disabled toilets. If toddlersdoing “that dance” and people with that “anxious pained expression” were invitedto the front of a queue, people wouldn’t need to quickly nip into a disabledtoilet.

No person (whatever their age) should suffer the indignityof wetting or soiling themselves when it is avoidable and in the past I’veoccasionally used disabled toilets for my children when the only other optionwould be an accident. Despite what others may think, a parent of young childrenmay find themselves in occasional emergency situations irrespective of the frequencyof scheduled toilet breaks and constant reminders to their children. I canremember my son having an accident once as we were driving away from themotorway services where we had stopped for a toilet break!

These days there are quite a number of coffee places havingaccess to only one toilet on the premises. IMO in this situation everyoneshould be respectful of the needs of others and discretion should be given toothers in more imminent need of the facilities.

Respect is two-way. People should be respectful of those withdisabilities and not use a disabled toilet merely for convenience. However, whena disabled toilet is used only as a last resort this could be met with more understanding.

lostinrates

Fwiw, I can understand why so many public facilities have closed down. The state some people leave them in, the amount it must cost to attempt to maintain them must be horrific.

In many countries there is nothing like the provision there is here. The option exists to buy a drink ( much less expensively than we pay) or similar, to use a loo which is maintained by a business owner.

Shopping malls and super markets are not my favourite places at all, but I really do think they have radically lifted our expectation of access and standards of access to facilities while out and about. Public loos maintained by local authority we might have access to when using high street shops just don't compare usually. In a small town near me we have paid for access public loos though and frankly, they are brilliant. Clean, maintained, you could safely send kids in to the other sex without you because there is an attendant. ( or there is in the ladies anyway).

surfsister

Carmina-Piranha wrote: »

It was me that said 'mine' - surfsister quoted my post but left out the end quotes. There's a 9 year gap between my boys and the eldest stopped enjoying swimming while youngest was still a toddler, so they couldn't go in together.

Eldest is tiny, and while he may have been 9 before using the male changing room nobody would have thought he was that old when he was sat in the female one with me. There were some large rooms with benches, for about a dozen people, and the signs said for boys with mums to use those rooms rather than the large female communal area. Other people had 7 or 8 year old boys in that area, and I took a book so he wasn't looking at anyone.

yes sorry I copied and pasted and it missed the quotes at the end!!!

surfsister

lostinrates wrote: »

Fwiw, I can understand why so many public facilities have closed down. The state some people leave them in, the amount it must cost to attempt to maintain them must be horrific.

In many countries there is nothing like the provision there is here. The option exists to buy a drink ( much less expensively than we pay) or similar, to use a loo which is maintained by a business owner.

Shopping malls and super markets are not my favourite places at all, but I really do think they have radically lifted our expectation of access and standards of access to facilities while out and about. Public loos maintained by local authority we might have access to when using high street shops just don't compare usually. In a small town near me we have paid for access public loos though and frankly, they are brilliant. Clean, maintained, you could safely send kids in to the other sex without you because there is an attendant. ( or there is in the ladies anyway).

Well as we pay so much council tax now it is ridiculous that public toilets are being closed down to rely upon big business making up the shortfall. We had 4 big council toilets all serviced by toilet staff until 3 years ago when all but one were closed and this only opens 9 to 5 and 11 to 4 on Sunday. Now that council tax is so high and our population swelled enormously we only have 1 loo instead of 4!! But the council spent 21 million taking out an underground walkway and putting in four-way sets of traffic lights and causing terrible congestion where there was none before! The council also replaced both bus centers bust stops (only replaced 4 years before!!) completely and resurfaced with slippery concrete!! lol! And it had the cheek to say it was an improvement! :rotfl:

Spendless

iammumtoone wrote: »

Changing rooms are a different issue whilst I see no problem with boys using ladies toilets as everything is behind closed doors, boys going into open ladies changing rooms is quite different.

At seven I can get away with it with my son but not for much longer. As a single mum I don't know what we will do, he could manage to get his clothes changed but don't think he could manage the lockers (I struggle getting the key to work sometimes) and if there are none free low down he would not be able to reach the higher ones. The set up in our pool is separate changing rooms and separate lockets, once you have put clothes in locker you walk straight out to the pool area! I would not be happy him waiting by the pool area for me unattended either what if he decided to go in without me, he can't swim!!!

I suspect the answer will be we stop going swimming

Just bumping this as we came across this problem this weekend, with my son. Not due to his age or swimming ability as he's 14 and learnt to swim when he was 5, but because I only had one £1 for the locker and the family changing rooms were being re-furbed. What we did was son took off his t-shirt and shoes outside the changing rooms and gave them to me, he had swimming shorts on and he walked through the mens changing rooms into the pool. Me and daughter got changed in the ladies side and put all belonging s in a locker.

Coming out I retrieved sons stuff first along with a towel and then walked back to pool area with it, so he could take it from me.

If you have issues about him jumping in the pool when he is a non-swimmer, is a block of swimming lessons affordable? Both mine learnt to swim this way, they can continue and pass the grades learning technique and different strokes etc, but it's not compulsory to do this.

sulphate

I don't understand the problem with using a disabled toilet if it is available to be used (ie not locked) and there is no one around who is disabled waiting. I've seen women use them many times if the queue for the ladies is very long. At the end of the day disabled toilets are modified for use for disabled people, they are not like disabled parking spaces which are reserved for disabled people only.

Most swimming pools open to the general public have family changing rooms, I find it very odd that there are some that don't for precisely the reason iammumtoone mentioned.

iammumtoone

I did actually ask the the pool what they suggest. Their answer was to use the cubicles in the ladies changing area (which we do anyway). I don't see how this solves the problem as whilst there are cubicles in the ladies there is also an open area for people to use if they wish. To be honest I rarely see anyone using it, but it is there, and I would hate to come out of a cubicle with ds only for a poor unsuspected lady getting changed to see him :eek:

Spendless he is learning to swim, he has has two weeks of block lessons and nearly two years of going weekly, he still can't swim :mad: I really need to get him one to one lessons but they cost a fortune

dandelionclock30

mumtoone, if hes taking that long to learn to swim is it an emotional block or dislike of water? My Mum never learned because someone pushed her head under water and my friends boyfriend didnt learn either because he was scared.
After all that input it sounds like there maybe something elce going on thats stopping him. If its not this, instead of spending money on 1-1s can you not teach him by getting him to copy you? Its not hard as long as your not frightened of the water.

Spendless

iammumtoone wrote: »

Spendless he is learning to swim, he has has two weeks of block lessons and nearly two years of going weekly, he still can't swim :mad: I really need to get him one to one lessons but they cost a fortune

Is it due to class size numbers? Though my son learnt to swim aged 5 and had completed all the council levels by 8, DD took a lot longer, for various reasons and at one bit they were 13 in her class. How much would 1-2-1 cost verses how much a block is costing, it might work out cheaper in the long run.

iammumtoone

dandelionclock30 wrote: »

mumtoone, if hes taking that long to learn to swim is it an emotional block or dislike of water? My Mum never learned because someone pushed her head under water and my friends boyfriend didnt learn either because he was scared.
After all that input it sounds like there maybe something elce going on thats stopping him. If its not this, instead of spending money on 1-1s can you not teach him by getting him to copy you? Its not hard as long as your not frightened of the water.

Spendless wrote: »

Is it due to class size numbers? Though my son learnt to swim aged 5 and had completed all the council levels by 8, DD took a lot longer, for various reasons and at one bit they were 13 in her class. How much would 1-2-1 cost verses how much a block is costing, it might work out cheaper in the long run.

Thanks both, he is not frightened of water he loves splashing about in the pool. His problems are he doesn't have much natural ability he is not very coordinated, to add to that the class sizes are large 10+, the lesson is only half hour and with that many they only get to go across the pool 3 or 4 times each. Also he spends most of the time not listening and playing about with the other kids :mad:

I do think one to one would be cheaper in the long run as he would learn so much quicker, but it is having the money to pay that much out at once and if I give up his place in the class if I want him to go back he will have to join the long waiting list again.