Boys using ladies loos

Indie_Kid

moomoomama27 wrote: »

There really needs to be family loos or just unisex loos with just cubicles.

I agree. I was out with friends last week and needed the toilet. There was a single toilet with the male and female sign on the door. I would prefer more places did this.

OrkneyStar

GwylimT wrote: »

They take her into the men's.

And the urinals don't bother her, or the men using them? Just curious, not saying it should or shouldn't! I mean toilet wise, not changing room wise.

Carmina-Piranha_2

OrkneyStar wrote: »

And the urinals don't bother her, or the men using them? Just curious, not saying it should or shouldn't! I mean toilet wise, not changing room wise.

I don't really know any little girls, but my son's best friend only started to feel uncomfortable about seeing adults genitals or them seeing hers once she turned 9.

Likewise, I assume, with a toilet but I don't know. My youngest might barge in to use the loo while I am in the bath sometimes and isn't bothered that I am naked. I assume that little girls might do the same if their dad is in the bath?

I really have no idea at around what age a girl may not want to go into the male toilets. It never happened to me, my dad never took me anywhere without my mum.

Arthien

Carmina-Piranha wrote: »

The loos in our shopping centre have posters about bladder weakness. It might be bowel problems that make some posters desperate though.

Exactly this. IBS (just for one example) is estimated to affect around 20-25% of the population to one degree or another, and yet it's not considered a disability, even though it can seriously affect and control the way sufferers live their lives, particularly in relation to frequency/urgency of needing the loo and often being unable to wait in a queue. Yet outwardly there would appear to be no reason for them using the disabled toilet in such a situation, and a sufferer is hardly likely to want to explain to all and sundry why they have done so. Comments about learning to control pelvic floor muscles tend to undermine the seriousness of how chronic bowel and bladder problems can affect some people's lives.

As an aside, my local coffee shop (part of a chain) only has two toilets, one of which has the disabled sign on the door, but both are unisex. There is often a queue, so should everyone who is not disabled choose not to use the disabled loo in case a disabled person may need it, and instead wait in a large queue for the one remaining non-disabled toilet? Or is it acceptable to use both in this situation, on the proviso that a disabled person is given priority if they join the queue?

fed_up_and_stressed

Person_one wrote: »

No, but there are a few comments that suggest to me that the posters may benefit from looking into this. I won't quote them or go it into any more, I've put the info up and it's there if it's wanted.

As has been mentioned its not just weak pelvic floors people may be on medications which affect water retention which affects how often they need the loo.

fed_up_and_stressed

Carmina-Piranha wrote: »

I can't afford a gang of kids, so with my one child I reckon it's fair enough for us to nip into an empty disabled loo if I feel the need for whatever reason.

Even if we both use the loo it only takes the amount of time that my friend would take to get in and out of her wheelchair, etc. so I wouldn't feel guilty about a disabled person waiting outside - they would have to wait if there was a disabled person in there anyhow.

I had to do this at a theme park once, and I think the person who tutted at us thought that my gigantic child was much older than he actually was. His poor fine motor skills meant that he needed some help cleaning up after his lactose intolerance caused a diarrhoea problem. Now that he is older, his fine motor skills are improved and he can deal with accidents by himself.

I would rather not stand around explaining his issues to strangers, and if they were actually in urgent need of the loo they wouldn't want me to waste their time in such a way. A kid is not going to want their mum to wipe their bottom if they are capable of it themselves.

So what did you when the disabled loos have radar locks on them ? Did your child soil themselves or did they wipe their own bottom in the male toilet ?

Carmina-Piranha_2

fed_up_and_stressed wrote: »

So what did you when the disabled loos have radar locks on them ? Did your child soil themselves or did they wipe their own bottom in the male toilet ?

It doesn't happen often, but yes he would soil himself. I'd rather he got there before making the mess, but a couple of times I've squeezed him into the ladies loo with me, and I've helped him there, it's a squash though, sometimes.

He also needed a TA to help with cleaning up once in the reception class at school. Nowadays I could give him a bag for dirty clothes, some clean ones and a packet of wipes and send him into the gents. Because he's huge, people were more likely to think he was over 5 when he wasn't though. Disabled or ladies, people will tut anyhow, probably.

I don't know if I, as an adult, should have taken him into the gents instead?

jackieb

moomoomama27 wrote: »

I think the same! My son is 9 and about average height foe his age. Today we went on a family day out, and obviously neede the loo on our visit. Normally he would go into the mens if we had a male family member to take him, otherwise he comes in with me or we use the family toilets (if there are any) or disabled ones as a very last resort!

Today however I felt the right choice was to take him in with me, we had no one to take him, so he came in with me. All well and good he did his business and washed his hands, all the while this woman kept leaving then popping her head back in, tutting and leaving again, I sent him outside with my Mum sensing perhaps this woman was irritated at his presence.She then proceeded to shout that kid of your beter be SPECIAL NEEDS or otherwise I'm reporting him to the staff for being a pervert!!! At this point I am VERY glad I sent him out. My son is very sensitive and socially very young for his age, this would have devestated him.

So I'm wondering, having never really given it a second thought, either taking him in the ladies, or seeing other young boys in there, if this really is a problem, or was this woman just a bit ummm odd!!?

A very odd woman! I wouldn't worry about her. I don't see the problem. Different if it was a girl in a mens toilet - but only because of the men using the urinals which would be uncomfortable for everyone.

Person_one

Carmina-Piranha wrote: »

The loos in our shopping centre have posters about bladder weakness. It might be bowel problems that make some posters desperate

There are some exercises that can help with bowel issues/faecal incontinence too:

http://www.bladderandbowelfoundation.org/bowel/bowel-problems/pelvic-floor-exercises.asp

Obviously, there would always need to be medical investigation/advice for that situation not just self help, but there's support out there.

Person_one

fed_up_and_stressed wrote: »

As has been mentioned its not just weak pelvic floors people may be on medications which affect water retention which affects how often they need the loo.

Of course it's not the answer for everybody, but you never know, somebody may find it helpful. Information never hurts!