Boys using ladies loos

chucknorris

moomoomama27 wrote: »

IShe then proceeded to shout that kid of your beter be SPECIAL NEEDS or otherwise I'm reporting him to the staff for being a pervert!!!

I think that it is fairly obvious which person out of the 3 of you is the one who has 'SPECIAL NEEDS'.

FBaby

I haven't read all the comments but just on this

Non-disabled people don't have mobility issues that make using the toilet a military operation in itself. Disabled people often have a number of issues they have to contend with, and they could have difficulties with bladder control or be on medications with a diuretic effect.

This is not about mobility issues though. This is about a toilet that offers the space required for SOME disabled people. Not all disabled people have mobility issues, and not all non disabled people safe from bladder control issues.

There seems to be a culture developing, which your post demonstrates, that disabled toilets are 'fair game'

Yes, there is a culture developping, one that makes some disabled people think they should have priority and preferable treatment for absolutely everything. Do you really think it is right that someone disabled by say depression should automatically have priority access to a disabled toilet over a kid who is crying because he is about to wet his pants and scared? That's the case of my 11yo. He has an extremely weak bladder, so athough is a healthy big boy for his age, he regularly burst into tears because he is so desperate for the toilet within less than 10 minutes. He is not disabled though.

What saddens me is how everything has to be black and white nowadays with everyone shouting their rights and considering that others have no place in their protected areas. What happened to plain politeness?

I don't agree with boys over a certain age going into female toilets, but life is too short, it's not about me, and it would never cross my mind to say something, same with a disabled adult. My son has at time gone to disabled toilets when he has been about to wet himself. If he came out and a disabled person was waiting, I would apologise and explain the circumstances and hope that they appreciate that he also had a need to the toilet. So far, that situation has never happened.

iammumtoone

I agree with all of the above.

My 7 year old has the same issues, he needs to go he doesn't feel an 'urge' to go. We do have options he can try the mens if there is a queue he will come out, then the ladies, again if the queue is too long we have been known to pop into the disabled toilet. He doesn't take long we do not hang about and if I need to go at the same time we come out and wait in the ladies queue, personally I would not dream of using a disabled toilet (I have no need to).

If there is no toilet available he does wet himself, it has been know especially at a strange place where we have to run to ask someone where the nearest toilet is then find it! He gets very upset about this and we have to go back to the car to sort him out. I do appreciate this is how it must be for some disabled people, it is not nice, I would not wish it on anybody. I would hope that a disabled adult has come to terms with their limitations and have to plan accordingly, my son is a child he wants to do things like his friends to go out and about and play. I wont stop taking him out just because he may need to use the toilet quick.

As is normally the case it is the actions of some, people that use the disabled toilets as convenience rather than a need (regardless if they are disabled) that ruins it for the non disabled that do need to use them otherwise will have an accident. I have in the past (more than once) been into the ladies and asked in the queue if my son could go first only to be told no

I don't count mothers with prams in the above although when I took my ds out in his pram I didn't hardly ever go I would hold on.

surfsister

interesting thread as I swim at a hotel/gym pool and often ladies bring in biggish boys who sit and stare as you change. I find it quite off-putting, as boys know so much more about things nowadays it doesn't seem appropriate and often after the child has sat there for ten mins the mother says go and find daddy in the mens changing room!!

one sits there every time I see him with no clothes on letting it all hang out and watching you!! creepy!

dandelionclock30

surfsister wrote: »

interesting thread as I swim at a hotel/gym pool and often ladies bring in biggish boys who sit and stare as you change. I find it quite off-putting, as boys know so much more about things nowadays it doesn't seem appropriate and often after the child has sat there for ten mins the mother says go and find daddy in the mens changing room!!

one sits there every time I see him with no clothes on letting it all hang out and watching you!! creepy!

If that happened then I would have a word with the pool attendant or staff. Thats really not on. I'm surprised you continue to get changed in these circumstances.
Can you go instead to a pool which has cubicles? they all do now in the city where I live. Some have changing areas as well, but you can always get a cubicle.

Indie_Kid

surfsister wrote: »

interesting thread as I swim at a hotel/gym pool and often ladies bring in biggish boys who sit and stare as you change. I find it quite off-putting, as boys know so much more about things nowadays it doesn't seem appropriate and often after the child has sat there for ten mins the mother says go and find daddy in the mens changing room!!

one sits there every time I see him with no clothes on letting it all hang out and watching you!! creepy!

That's just wrong. As I mentioned before, we have male and female changing rooms and a changing village for swimming. I don't think I've ever had problems with someone (male or female) sitting there and staring.

If you're not happy, I'd report it.

BrassicWoman

FBaby wrote: »

He has an extremely weak bladder, so athough is a healthy big boy for his age, he regularly burst into tears because he is so desperate for the toilet within less than 10 minutes. He is not disabled though.

Medical condition which affects day to day living and is expected to last over 12 months - sounds like your son to me. I think your issue is around trying to avoid the stigma of labelling, not toilets.

esmerelda98

BrassicWoman wrote: »

Medical condition which affects day to day living and is expected to last over 12 months - sounds like your son to me. I think your issue is around trying to avoid the stigma of labelling, not toilets.

Exactly. A person can be disabled in some circumstances but not others.

The rest of this post is aimed at FBaby. I don't know how to multi-quote.
Therefore in the example of a depressed person you have given, the vast majority would not need to use a disabled toilet if their problem is depression alone. It is reasonable for a person who doesn't identify as disabled to use the disabled toilet if they have issues with bladder or bowel control, though I can imagine many parents falling back on that when the reality is that they and/or the child are not managing normal toileting needs very well. By taking regular toilet breaks, for example. And I'm not quite sure how your son manages at school, but struggles elsewhere. Is he allowed to run out of class when he gets the urge?

I am not disabled, and don't have any close family or friends who are obviously disabled. I don't have a vested interest in this issue, unlike many who are posting, who struggle to see things from others viewpoint, or indeed care about the consequences of their actions for others. Those 'perks' you see disabled people getting are meant to help them live lives like the rest of us, not to elevate them above us. This culture of, 'We can all use the disabled loo' is just going to make disabled loos like normal ones and unless they are locked, disabled people will end up disadvantaged again. Though one poster has already boasted of how she uses the radar key she obtained for her mother to toilet her children on days out, so even the locked toilets are not immune.

And can I just take this opportunity to make the point that I actually feel that it is actually parents, especially mothers of young children who believe they are entitled to special perks, and indeed believe that shouting,'I did it for my child' conclusively wins and ends the argument. I am finding that there is a lot of taking and not a lot of giving where they are concerned, to the extent that I find that my attitudes are hardening, and yes, I believe I may be becoming more intolerant and less giving.

**Patty**

FBaby wrote: »

Yes, there is a culture developping, one that makes some disabled people think they should have priority and preferable treatment for absolutely everything. Do you really think it is right that someone disabled by say depression should automatically have priority access to a disabled toilet over a kid who is crying because he is about to wet his pants and scared? That's the case of my 11yo. He has an extremely weak bladder, so athough is a healthy big boy for his age, he regularly burst into tears because he is so desperate for the toilet within less than 10 minutes. He is not disabled though.

What saddens me is how everything has to be black and white nowadays with everyone shouting their rights and considering that others have no place in their protected areas. What happened to plain politeness?

I don't agree with boys over a certain age going into female toilets, but life is too short, it's not about me, and it would never cross my mind to say something, same with a disabled adult. My son has at time gone to disabled toilets when he has been about to wet himself. If he came out and a disabled person was waiting, I would apologise and explain the circumstances and hope that they appreciate that he also had a need to the toilet. So far, that situation has never happened.

Can you not see the contradiction there?

You wish for people to make adjustments for your son.......and yet complain that disabled people want it all their way.

It's not about wanting *rights*......it's about society making reasonable adjustments.


Fedup & Stressed: I was at the Trafford yesterday & noticed an increase in the use of radar locks......Let's hope that there's some kind of tighter system of obtaining the keys eh?

FBaby

BrassicWoman wrote: »

Medical condition which affects day to day living and is expected to last over 12 months - sounds like your son to me. I think your issue is around trying to avoid the stigma of labelling, not toilets.

It doesn't affect his daily living at all. Regularly in my mind is once every couple of months because in normal circumstances there is always a toilet close enough. You're the first ever to consider that he might be disabled not his gp not his teachers not family members but yes it must be me with a labelling issue