End of relationship

vodkachick68

I just can't seem to stop crying:( I can't seem to come to terms with fact that it's over even though I know in my heart that it is. I know I'm keeping on and repeating myself but it really helps to hear people's opinions and how I can move forward. I keep thinking about them being together and it's making me worse:mad:
Thanks to u all

Pollycat

vodkachick68 wrote: »

I just can't seem to stop crying:( I can't seem to come to terms with fact that it's over even though I know in my heart that it is. I know I'm keeping on and repeating myself but it really helps to hear people's opinions and how I can move forward. I keep thinking about them being together and it's making me worse:mad:
Thanks to u all

It's still all very raw, it's to be expected that you feel for the loss of a relationship that you had high hopes for.

You can't just switch your feelings off, even though he's proved himself to be a cheat.

Primrose

Just remember, once a cheat, always a cheat, so try and console yourself that in due course the current female will get cheated upon and dumped too. She may still be innocent of the fact that you were ever in the picture so her time will come. Allow yourself to cry for five minutes only if immediately afterwards you do something positive to counteract it, however little you feel like doing so.

BigAunty

Crying yourself silly and wondering if he's enjoying his new relationship, fretting that he didn't have a high regard for you, sounds a fairly normal second stage in being heartbroken (the first stage being the denial (the wishful thinking) you felt over whether your relationship was over or not and downplaying the prospect that he had an existing partner). You need to know there are other stages further on and have faith that time does heal.

This seems like quite a sensible overview of your current and future states, plus strategies for coping.

http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2013/06/10/coping-with-the-end-of-a-relationship/

vodkachick68

Primrose wrote: »

Just remember, once a cheat, always a cheat, so try and console yourself that in due course the current female will get cheated upon and dumped too. She may still be innocent of the fact that you were ever in the picture so her time will come. Allow yourself to cry for five minutes only if immediately afterwards you do something positive to counteract it, however little you feel like doing so.

That's what I keep thinking. He has commitment issues and emotional issues going on. He has to have everything his way and he has controlling behaviour. His ex wife left him because of the way he was,well he's just proved that nothing's changed and he's a heartless kn*bhead!

sassyblue

vodkachick68 wrote: »

That's what I keep thinking. He has commitment issues and emotional issues going on. He has to have everything his way and he has controlling behaviour. His ex wife left him because of the way he was,well he's just proved that nothing's changed and he's a heartless kn*bhead!

......And he's going to treat this girl just the same. You're better off out of it, it will take time but thank God you found this out now and not in a few months when you'd given that scumbag the benefit of the doubt.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

Nice for this woman to be with somebody who is trying to keep the other woman on hand, just in case it doesn't work out with her.

Block his number, just in case he tries to come back in a few weeks. Oh, and I'd heartily recommend arranging a full sexual health check. This may not be the first time he's done this over the years.

vodkachick68

Jojo_the_Tightfisted wrote: »

Nice for this woman to be with somebody who is trying to keep the other woman on hand, just in case it doesn't work out with her.

Block his number, just in case he tries to come back in a few weeks. Oh, and I'd heartily recommend arranging a full sexual health check. This may not be the first time he's done this over the years.

Do u know what I thought of this earlier,the thought of him sleeping with me then someone else makes me feel sick! I have deleted his name and number of my phone. I never wanna see the cheating u know what again!! I feel like I hate him now for what he's done,he has treated me like !!!! the last 2 years,flipping controlling what we do and when we see each other,no man will ever do that to me again:mad:

Primrose

Well done! You may have hesitated over doing this for a moment but it's actually the first brave step in moving on.
All I can say is please try not to let your distrust and anger with him spill over into the the way you view all men. There are a lot of decent guys out there who don't behave like that and hopefully in due course one of them will cross your path.

Free_Spirit_31

Sounds like there is nothing redeemable about his character, if he has issues you have mentioned before, such as the way he has treated you and his wife leaving him... it will continue until he addresses his character flaws.


You are well shot of him.. Yes, you will feel down but look at it like this, would you take him back if he came back with his tail between his legs? Hopefully, the answer is no and then you can soon get yourself back on track and find someone worthy of your time and love.


He sounds like a right plebeian!