End of relationship

vodkachick68

Hi all
I had been with my bf for nearly two and half years and I think it's now come to an end and I feel terrible.

Some of you may remember me posting previously that he wouldn't let me meet his kids (which never happened) and he was having commitment problems. It just seemed that he wanted to keep me separate from his kids and family...never really found out the reason why.

After many heated rows he texted me yesterday and said he doesn't think he can give me what I want and that he needs time to himself to think about heat to do and where we go. He asked me not to ring or text him until he contacts me.

I believe this is his way of finishing the relationship without actually saying the words. I am so heartbroken and gutted. I know I shouldn't be still wasting my time on this guy but I still love him so much and I just can't function at the moment.

How do you get over splitting up with someone you still think the world of?

Ozzuk

Sounds tough, I'm amazed you stuck it out so long. It doesn't sound like he mislead you if he kept you separate from the start and its just odd it went on for so long unless he was promising you it would be different at some point.

Enjoy being on your own, don't rush into something new, get out there and make new friends, do your own thing and be happy with you. In time you'll meet someone that is right for you (or maybe this guy will realise what he's lost) and you'll be so much happier.

Distraction is the best way of dealing with this though you will feel pretty !!!! for a while, you'll have good days and bad days but it will get easier and better until at some point you see that ending it was the best thing.

Don't keep pushing him though (IMO) and don't be tempted to go back on his terms, you deserve more.

Oh and vodka was my friend through a lot of breakups, but probably not the best medicine!

Good luck and hugs!

fivetide

I'd tell him not to bother contacting you. His loss.

Sounds like you've tried to do all the right things. I agree with Ozzuk though, take some time out and find someone who appreciates you properly.

Georgiegirl256

I remember your previous threads. I'm amazed it's went on for this long too. I don't think I could have put up with all the secrecy and lies for so long.

To be blunt, he sounds a bit strange to keep you and his family seperate the whole time. What exactly is he hiding?

I know it'll be hard, but take this as your chance for a new start, to find someone who truely deserves you.

FBaby

It's so hard when someone you love deeply ans are madly in love with breaks up with you. Deep inside you know it was the inevitable outcome but facing it is another matter. Even you must know that ultimately it is for the best as you deserve better and it looks like it had to come down to him making the move as you couldn't find it in yourself to do it. I really hope the next few days/weeks are not to rough and that you'll see the light at the end of the tunnel.

sharnad

Get yourself someone who appreciates you

marisco_2

vodkachick68 wrote: »

He asked me not to ring or text him until he contacts me.

Everyone is entitled to space and to take stock of where they are at in life and what they want from their future. There are ways of handling this though, whereby you show respect and concern for someone else's feelings, whilst you do this. Your partners approach is thoughtless and unkind. To suggest to you what I have quoted above, indicates to me that he is treating you like a puppet on a string, that he thinks he can pick up and drop as the mood takes him.

Have some self respect OP and move on from him is my advice. Take some time out to be by yourself, before thinking of starting dating again. You will find someone who will love and appreciate all your unique qualities, and be far happier than this guy could ever make you. Don't let this horrible situation knock any of your confidence. Your value as a person doesn't decrease based on his inability to appreciate your worth.

spiritsfree

" How do you get over splitting up with someone you still think the world of" ?

Just ask yourself if this is how you want be treated, and what you deserve !!!!

If people can`t be upfront, open, and honest, then what does that tell you about THEM ??

Time to look at yourself and work out why you allowed it....Perhaps you deserve some one better ??

Hugs X

CH27

You're well shot of him OP & i'm surprised you stuck it out this long.
You deserve so much better.

thatgirlsam

Sorry to hear you're going through that, horrible!


Think for a minute though, do you miss the relationship you had together.. or the relationship you wanted to have together?


If its the second there is nothing to miss really as you didn't have that anyway.


I'm sorry, I know its easy for me to say!

Brighton_belle

marisco wrote: »

Everyone is entitled to space and to take stock of where they are at in life and what they want from their future. There are ways of handling this though, whereby you show respect and concern for someone else's feelings, whilst you do this. Your partners approach is thoughtless and unkind. To suggest to you what I have quoted above, indicates to me that he is treating you like a puppet on a string, that he thinks he can pick up and drop as the mood takes him.

^^^ this. The announcement that you are not allowed to contact him for x amount of time, sounds like an imperious command. You don't have to 'obey' him or let him be in the controlling driving seat on this one. I'm not suggesting that repeatedly contacting him when he has announced his requirement 'for space' will get you what you want, but don't feel you have to fall in line and 'obey'.