End of relationship

bagpussbear

vodkachick68 wrote: »

After many heated rows he texted me yesterday and said he doesn't think he can give me what I want and that he needs time to himself to think about heat to do and where we go. He asked me not to ring or text him until he contacts me.

Breakups are always painful I do remember your thread and thought he was treating you unfairly.

It seems it's all about him, especially are you are not 'allowed' to contact him now.

The only thing is to take back a bit of a control - if he is in contact, you would do well to ignore him. Seriously, there are better men and better relationships out there for you.

Guest101

vodkachick68 wrote: »

Hi all
I had been with my bf for nearly two and half years and I think it's now come to an end and I feel terrible.

Some of you may remember me posting previously that he wouldn't let me meet his kids (which never happened) and he was having commitment problems. It just seemed that he wanted to keep me separate from his kids and family...never really found out the reason why.

After many heated rows he texted me yesterday and said he doesn't think he can give me what I want and that he needs time to himself to think about heat to do and where we go. He asked me not to ring or text him until he contacts me.

I believe this is his way of finishing the relationship without actually saying the words. I am so heartbroken and gutted. I know I shouldn't be still wasting my time on this guy but I still love him so much and I just can't function at the moment.

How do you get over splitting up with someone you still think the world of?

I'm sorry I don't know, how long were u together?

I don't think based on this post alone he's splitting up with u, but clearly there's more than I know

janb5

I think if you read the first line the Op clearly states how long they were together...........!

Peter333

vodkachick68 wrote: »

Hi all
I had been with my bf for nearly two and half years and I think it's now come to an end and I feel terrible.

Some of you may remember me posting previously that he wouldn't let me meet his kids (which never happened) and he was having commitment problems. It just seemed that he wanted to keep me separate from his kids and family...never really found out the reason why.

After many heated rows he texted me yesterday and said he doesn't think he can give me what I want and that he needs time to himself to think about heat to do and where we go. He asked me not to ring or text him until he contacts me.

I believe this is his way of finishing the relationship without actually saying the words. I am so heartbroken and gutted. I know I shouldn't be still wasting my time on this guy but I still love him so much and I just can't function at the moment.

How do you get over splitting up with someone you still think the world of?

Sorry to hear it never worked out Vodka Chick.

I really think he has not treated you very well though.

You deserve better.

vodkachick68

Thankyou so much for your replies. I still feel like rubbish today I think because he hasn't actually said the words that we are finished I can't move on properly.

I have been so close to texting him and it's taken a lot of willpower not to do it. I know I'm probably better off without him but I still love him so it's difficult.

Thanks again

dandelionclock30

Sounds like he might still have been with the kids mum in some form or other.
Seriously you are well shut of him, look around and do other things with other people. Dont have him back even if he begs, I would be inclinded to block his numbers now.
He might not have said the words we are over but its as near as damn it.Dont be hanging on for him. Honestly you deserve better.

marisco_2

vodkachick68 wrote: »

Thankyou so much for your replies. I still feel like rubbish today I think because he hasn't actually said the words that we are finished I can't move on properly.

I have been so close to texting him and it's taken a lot of willpower not to do it. I know I'm probably better off without him but I still love him so it's difficult.

Thanks again

I think this is a clear case of actions speak louder than words. Do you really still want to be with someone who can cause you this level of upset and anxiety, seemingly without any thought or care for your wellbeing?

Texting him is very unlikely to make you feel any better. Deciding that you are worth more than this and cutting contact with him once and for all would.

fivetide

vodkachick68 wrote: »

Thankyou so much for your replies. I still feel like rubbish today I think because he hasn't actually said the words that we are finished I can't move on properly.

I have been so close to texting him and it's taken a lot of willpower not to do it. I know I'm probably better off without him but I still love him so it's difficult.

Thanks again

Stay strong. You don't need people like this in your life. The people surrounding you should support you and make life better not harder.

BigAunty

I don't think you would have felt any better if he had definitively ended it - heart break feels like a bereavement in whatever form it is delivered.

I'm with the others on this - texting you with those demands is cowardly and controlling.

You have been endlessly mucked about and your strong attachment to him which was not reciprocated is a reason why you have been exploited and had an imbalanced relationship in his favour.

He is making your quite basic expectations for how you operate as a couple out to be something quite outrageous on your part, making you feel both guilty for wanting an equal partnership and controlling the communication.

I think you could use the time to reflect upon the many ways your relationship did not meet quite conventional standards and how you've been short-changed. Then perhaps you can have the courage to both believed in and text back something like

'I have used this opportunity to reflect upon our relationship. You fall short of what I want and I am tired of you making out that I am the needy one. It is over. I do not want you to contact me again.'

FBaby

That's all very logical and straight forward not so much when the attachment is so vividly present.

OP your best friend right now is time. You don't need to do anything at all but focus on making it to the end of the day knowing that you will wake up with your heart slightly less achy each day until the time you will feel relief and freedom.