advice please

nichere

Hi everyone

Now i dont want a women/man arguement here!!
all i am after is a bit of advice where i may stand if anyone has any idea please?
The situation is this without getting too deep but just a general outline of my predicament.
I am divorced and have a son whos coming upto 5 in sept.
now the problem is is my ex wife will not let me take our son out of her house unless i give her my new address where i now live with my new wife.
now we are not willing to give her this information as my son never has spent a night with me ever since she left me and i have no intention of taking our son to my new address until he wants to etc etc as i live along way away from them now and the best place for him is with his mother, however she thinks i will take him to my new address and kidnap our son but all i want to do is take our son to see his nan and grandad which is close to her house and this is what i used to do, but she stopped this last sept on his b/day when i took our son to my mum and dads where they had a party for him and my new g/friend now wife was there and she objected to this and i made the desition as his father.
my ex wife agreed to this in july that our son could meet her but then changed her mind and kept moving the goal post although she denys this now, and she says no although i have never hurt or ever been late taking our son back to her when i used to have him for the day but she is saying that her soliciter said that i should give her my new address and that she is in her rights not to let me take our son out of her house where she lives with her mum unless she has the address.
any comments?

affordmylife

Where is the harm in giving her the address. Boy is hardly likely to turn up on doorstep yet is he?

January20

Without knowing the details of your situation -and I don't want to know- it's difficult to be objective enough to give advice.

Reading between the lines, it seems there are a lot of negative feelings, perhaps hurt on your wife's side of the story.

As a divorced mother myself, when my child was younger, if my ex had taken her out without telling me exactly where he was taking her, and without me knowing his address, I would have been worried too.

Unless she is emotionally unstable and will hassle your new wife and yourself, why not give her your new address?

TAG

By not giving her your address don't you think your just giving her more immunition to be difficult?

bristol_pilot

I think your ex-wife is being perfectly reasonable in insisting on having your new address and I cannot think of a good reason for not giving it to her. She has a five year old to protect, remember, not from you but in general.

squashy

Of course you should give her your address. You are the childs next of kin other than her so she should be able to contact you in an emergency if nothing else!

Sorry but I think witholding your address is just making you seem very unreasonable. I don't blame your ex for holding her ground!

And before you ask I am a "new wife" and wouldn't dream of being so awkward and petty with my step kids' mum.

nichere

My son is not the problem i know he wont that is not the issue here it is my ex wife not letting me take our son out of her sight as she thinks i will kidnap him!
i also pay over the odds on my maintenance to her even though the csa said i should pay less than i do and have never failed to make a payment.

nichere

she can contact me i have no intention of taking my son away other than to my mum and dads and have never taken him any where else.she never minded before i got a new family and moved on with my life.
i have a daughter as well now and she is stopping him meeting her

squashy

nichere wrote: »

she can contact me i have no intention of taking my son away other than to my mum and dads and have never taken him any where else.she never minded before i got a new family and moved on with my life.
i have a daughter as well now and she is stopping him meeting her

But she is probably wondering what you have got to hide if you won't give her something so basic as a contact address?

nichere

thank you january20 for reading my thread and for your reply.
she does seem now unstable and all i want to do is protect my new family

shellsuit

squashy wrote: »

Of course you should give her your address. You are the childs next of kin other than her so she should be able to contact you in an emergency if nothing else!

Sorry but I think witholding your address is just making you seem very unreasonable. I don't blame your ex for holding her ground!

And before you ask I am a "new wife" and wouldn't dream of being so awkward and petty with my step kids' mum.

Agree totally with Squashy. What harm is there in telling her your address?

You are the childs Father, you know where your child and Mother lives, so why can't she not know where you live?

Also, as child is coming up to school age, there are records which schools hold which ask for emergency contact information, what is your ex meant to put down under 'fathers details'? 'I don't know where he lives'